Generic Exaggeration
by Amethyst Turtle
Summary: A series of parodies that will make you facepalm and groan, guaranteed. Now with 99% more random! Complete!
1. Insert OC Here

AN: I've read a few fanfics about OCs, and I've noticed A LOT of similarities between them. So here is an exaggerated version of the generic format that many fanfic writers seem to use.  
Oh, and this is my first shot at writing a humor story, so reviews will be greatly appreciated!  
Also, don't expect much quality from these chapters. I wrote these just to poke fun at those crummy self-insertions and etc. Most of these types of my writing take about 5-15 min to type out.

"Insert OC Here" 

One day the Titans were fighting a big monster. It had horns and teeth and claws and stuff. It was really strong, even stronger than Cyborg and Starfire. And it was smashing stuff on the street.

"Dude, we're getting pwnd!" Beast Boy yelled out.

"That's kinda obvious," Raven said in her usual boring voice.

Just when the monster grabbed Robin and prepared to bite his head off, this mysterious girl appeared in a flash of white light.

She had long, long black hair with about a million different highlights and random clips and beads in it. She was wearing a leather jacket with a bunch of Japanese words on it and a sparkly black t-shirt. Her super-mini-skirt was really pretty and stuff. It was a mood skirt, because it changed colors according to her mood. Right now it was pink, which meant she was happy. A big machine gun and a giant sword hung on her back and she had daggers in her awesome knee-length leather boots. Though how she didn't cut her feet with the daggers I don't know.

Fluffy gray kitty ears poked out from her head, because it's obviously cool for heroes to be part animal, except for Beast Boy. It's also cool for them to be part vampire, so let's assume she has golden eyes and big sparkly teeth. I mean fangs.

"I WILL SAVE YOU" the super-awesome-mysterious-beautiful-floating girl said in a voice that sounded like it came out of God's megaphone. "DIE EVIL MONSTER"

A bunch of colorful energy beams came out of her hands and eyes and nose and stuff, and the monster died.

"Who are you, super-awesome-mysterious-beautiful-floating girl?" Cyborg asked. He obviously had fallen in love with the super-awesome-mysterious-beautiful-floating girl, because that's what Cyborg does. He falls in love with OC's.

"I am Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl!" said the super-awesome-mysterious-beautiful-floating girl. Her skirt turned purple. "And I am going to join your team! NO QUESTIONS ASKED."

So they went back to the tower to learn more about Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl.

The Titans asked her questions.

"I was born in an alternate dimension to two super awesome people, who abandoned me, which makes them so not super awesome people. I was then raised by dark ninja masters, who taught me how to pwn people. Then I got my highlights at Super Cuts," said Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl.

"Wow, that sure is a dark and mysterious past you got there," said Robin

"What are your powers?" Raven asked in her usual boring voice.

"I can do everything, NO QUESTIONS ASKED," said Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl.

"You wanna play video games with me?" Beast Boy asked, staring at her kitty ears and drooling.

"Okay, Green Boy," Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl said. No one bothered to correct her.

They played that racing car game thingy. Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl won, obviously, because OC's always pwn the Titans at everything.

About the only person who hasn't spoken in this story so far is Starfire because she wasn't hypnotized by the OC's wonderfulness-ness.

"You are not Super nor Gracious nor Magnificent nor Wonderful nor Beautiful Sexy nor Splendid nor Brilliant nor Sparkling nor Luminous nor Stunning nor Gorgeous nor Amazing nor Fantastic nor a Girl!" Starfire yelled.

"OH THEN WHAT AM I BYOTCH???" Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl yelled back.

Starfire smiled evilly, which was weird because usually Raven's the one who does that.

"You," Starfire paused for dramatic effect. "ARE A MARY SUE!!!"

Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl's skirt turned black.

"DIE STARFIRE!!!!!!!!!" Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl screamed. A bunch of colorful energy beams came out of her hands and eyes and nose and stuff. But then they vanished.

"Ha ha ha!" Starfire laughed evilly. Somewhere down in hell, Slade wiped a tear of joy from his eye.

"Your powers are no use, because you are merely a figment of some forty year old geek's imagination, who obviously has a fetish for Japanese cats!" Starfire laughed.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!" Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl screamed as she started melting. "I'M MELTING I'M MELTING I'M MELTBLAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Soon nothing was left but a puddle of dirty water. Robin cleaned it up with a vacuum and some disinfectant.

"Dude, that was so OOC," Beast Boy said in an awed tone.

"Why don't you be like that all the time," Raven said in her usual boring voice.

"Unfortunately, I will have to hate you for the rest of my life because you just killed my love," Cyborg said.

Starfire shrugged. She didn't really care, which was really OOC.

AN: So what did you think? Personally, I thought that Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl is the best OC i've ever thought of, so I might add her again as a cameo in a later chapter ;)


	2. The Return of Terra

AN: Once again, many Terra stories I've read that involved her escaping her rocky tomb basically followed the same format. She returns, Slade comes back, they beat him, BBxTerra pursues, Raven gets jealous, BLAH BLAH BLAH

The Return of Terra

Once upon a time in a cave there was a statue. Except it was no ordinary statue. It was a girl, who was covered in about two centimeters of rock.

The Titans didn't know this, or else they would've cracked her open with a hammer or something.

One day the girl hatched. I mean, she was freed.

She had amnesia (or maybe it was Alzheimer's) so she got out of the cave and enrolled in a school. Because that's what people do when they don't remember anything. They go enroll in the first prep school they see. She lived at the school too, because she didn't know where else to go. I think she lived in the janitor closet or something.

Then she met this guy who apparently fell in a vat of green food dye, because he was all green. The guy stalked her for a while, and then he left her alone.

Then, out of the blue, the girl remembered who she was. She was Terra, the geomancer. Terra started crying because she remembered the big betrayal and stuff, so she floated to Titans Tower on a big chunk of rock she took out of the street. A bunch of angry drivers honked at her. Terra smashed the rock right into the Titan's living room, surprising the five of them.

"Guys, I'm back!!!" Terra yelled out happily. She is also apparently bipolar.

"Alright!"

"Glorious!"

"Great to have you back!"

"Uh huh."

"TERRRAAA!!!!" Beast Boy screamed as he turned into a rhino. He rammed into her, and started kissing her with his ugly rhino lips. Terra screamed in disgust and tried to push him back.

"NO!" Terra yelled. "BAD RHINO! Oh, and it's great to see you Beast Boy!"

All the Titans celebrated with donuts and cake. Cyborg got sick and barfed all over the couch. Robin got drunk on sugar and jumped Starfire. Starfire got pissed off and blew him up with a starbolt while cussing in Tameranean. Raven sat by and read an old moldy book, because that's what she always does. She reads old moldy books.

The next weeks were happy. Terra was made an official part of the team. She and Beast Boy went on lots of dates, because they were naturally made for each other. Except a bunch of Terra haters threw eggs at her while they went on walks and stuff.

Then Slade returned from hell, somehow. Maybe he had a shovel and dug himself out. I dunno. The point is he got out.

"Terra you will be my apprentice again," Slade said in his usual creepy voice.

"NEVAH YOU FOO!!!" Terra yelled. She smashed him with a big rock. Slade died, and so that problem was solved. The Titans celebrate with more donuts and cake.

"Terrailoveyou," Beast Boy blurted out one day.

"Beastboyiloveyoutoo," Terra blurted back.

They started making out on the couch.

Raven saw them and started to cry. A bunch of pots and pans blew up behind her.

Because naturally, Raven must love Beast Boy and be the jealous byotch who everyone later hates. Except for the BBxRae lovers. And the Terra haters.

Raven went to see Starfire for advice. Starfire told her that on Tamaran, jealousy is handled by killing someone.

"I have killed about one hundred people," Starfire said proudly. "And half of them were just for fun."

So with that bit of advice in hand, Raven returned to the living room. Beast Boy and Terra were still making out. Robin and Cyborg were watching them, cheering them on. Raven went into her tantrum mode.

"TERRA YOU MUST DIE COZ I LURVE BEAST BOY!!!" she yelled in an OOC moment. Raven picked up the couch with her powers and hit Terra over the head with it. Then she took a bunch of eggs from the fridge and started chucking them at her.

"ALWAYS WITH THE EGGS!" Terra yelled, obviously annoyed. She summoned a bunch of rocks and pelted them at Raven.

"Wooooo!" Cyborg cheered. "Catfight!!!"

After a few minutes, Raven lay unconscious on the floor in a puddle of her demon blood. Or, if you prefer, Terra's the one on the floor if you are a BBxRae fan.

"I love you sooo much!" Beast Boy told the winner.

"I love you too!" said the winner of the catfight. The two started making out. Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire dipped the loser in molten chocolate and sold her off to a candy shop somewhere in Australia, never to be seen again. And they all lived happily ever after.


	3. Friend!

AN: One thing I don't like about many TT fics is that in EVERY SINGLE ONE (except for the angsty ones) Starfire says 'friend' in practically every sentence. It kinda annoys me. I don't think she said it that much in the show, did she?

Friend!

One day Starfire went for a walk at the park. And no, she did not take Silkie. She went alone, because she felt like it.

So she floated along the path, because her boots are obviously too pretty to get earth dirt on them.

Starfire was floating along, minding her own business, when a bunch of nerdy adolescents came up to her.

"Hello," one of the boys said. He snickered nasally, and paused. "FRIEND."

The rest of the guys started laughing nasally. Because all stereotypical nerds have nasally and whiny voices, naturally.

"F*** off, freaks," Starfire said. She was still in her OOC phase from the first chapter. The boys looked scared and ran away, pulling up their already high trousers.

With that distraction gone, Starfire continued floating through the park. But then a couple of girls came up to her.

"Hey FRIEND!" they laughed. Starfire cussed at them. They ran off, freaked out by her OOCness.

Starfire wasn't in a very good mood anymore, so she stopped floating and walked. Because all Tamaraneans need unbridled joy to fly. And Starfire wasn't feeling very joyful at the moment.

This continued for the rest of her walk. Random noobs came up to her, and called her friend (in capital letters). Starfire would cuss at them, and they would leave. Finally, the alien girl lost her temper and threw a guy in the middle of the pond.

Scowling angrily, Starfire somehow managed to fly back to the tower. She didn't bother to use the door. Instead, she just crashed through the window into the living room.

"Dude what was that for?" Beast Boy asked. He was eating one of his weird tofu burger things.

"Why is everyone calling me 'friend'?"

"Ohhh." Robin said. "They must have been reading Fanfiction."

Raven clucked her tongue and resumed to her moldy book reading.

"What is this 'Fanfiction' of which you speak?" Starfire asked.

"Here," Robin said. He pulled up a webpage on their giant computer and went onto the mentioned website. He browsed into the Teen Titans section, and began clicking on random fanfics.

Starfire gasped dramatically as she read the different stories about her.

"Why the **** do I say FRIEND so much???" she yelled, her eyes ablaze.

"Cy, were you teaching her to swear?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, she learns really fast," Cyborg said proudly.

"FRIEND Robin, FRIEND Cyborg, FRIEND Raven, FRIEND Beast Boy???" Starfire yelled. "What the **** is this ****?!?"

"Calm down woman!" Robin yelled, slapping her.

Starfire slapped him back and Robin fell out the window. Cuz you know, she's really strong and all that. She swore again and went to her room.

She logged on the computer and read more fanfictions about her. Her eyes started glowing and stuff, because she was seriously pissed off. It was annoying the way she said 'friend' in every sentence.

So to vent out her anger, Starfire created a deadly super-alien virus and spread it all over the Internet. Millions of noobs cried when their computers blew up.

"Hey, dawgs, why'd the computers blow up?" Cyborg yelled as his computers blew up. "This ain't cool!"

Starfire, who finally calmed down, apologized and took the virus out of their computers. Just their computers, though. Everyone else went back to the Medieval age because all their computers blew up.

AN: yeah, this chapter isn't really good. I was so blinded by my rage that I made it sucky. Starfire was really OOC and the ending just stank like cheese. And besides, I whipped this one up in about five minutes. Wooooo, record time!


	4. Oh, the Stupidity

AN: First off, updates for Generic Exaggeration won't be as frequent because 1) I don't have a lot of ideas for chapters, so requests will be appreciated and 2) I'm working on TFTP more often

Oh, the stupidity

Starfire of Tamaran was a very stupid girl.

Which didn't explain why she understood the functions of traveling at light speed and the multiple theories of quantum space gravity aptitudes.

But people on Earth thought she was stupid anyways. They also thought she was very childish, and cheerful in a creepy sort of way.

Like take that time she danced around the streets, singing songs from The Sound of Music. Or that time she tried to eat the coffee dispenser at Starbucks. Yes, she was very stupid indeed.

But it still didn't explain why she studied earth psychology periodically, and knew all about the complete history of Russia (courtesy of Red Star).

People just assumed she was stupid, so there. Because people will be like that.

Just ask Bob. He worked at a mental institute. Once he had to interview Starfire, because many citizens were afraid that she was mentally ill. Here's how the interview went:

"Hello Starfire. My name is B-O-B,"

"Yes, I am quite able of reading the tag of names on your shirt."

"No, no, honey. It's a N-A-M-E-T-A-G"

"Please, why do you call me the condiment released by the stinging insects? I am clearly not the honey."

"Er- never mind. T-E-L-L M-E W-H-A-T I-S Y-O-U-R P-L-A-N-E-T L-I-K-E?"

"Bob, please do not talk to me as if I were an infant. I am quite capable of understanding your language."

"Oh for the love of… okay. Just tell me what your primitive planet is like."

"Excuse me. My planet's technology is far superior to your insignificant 'toasters' and 'ipods' and 'MTV,"

"Oh, poor girl. You are clearly delusional. You may leave now."

"Um… thank you."

Bob later sent a report to the Titans. He recommended sending her back to her primitive planet because she was clearly overwhelmed by the sophistication of Earth cultures. Cyborg used the report to start a barbecue fire. He had some steak.

Raven, angry that her friend was called stupid, blew up Bob's house. They never found out who did it. Bob had to go live in a closet.

Even so, people still think Starfire is stupid.

Which doesn't explain why she knows approximately four hundred thirty eight methods of killing people, or why she memorized the Earth periodic table and then discovered some more elements.

But still, did I mention that they thought she was stupid?

Like that time Beast Boy yelled "Shut up!" when Starfire said something unbelievable, and she didn't say another word for a whole week. Or when a hip hop guy said "What's up, dawg?" and Starfire said "No, I do not believe there are any dogs above."

But it STILL doesn't explain why she analyzed a species of sea slug to find a cure to cancer (who no one accepted because they thought it was a deadly alien disease) or why she knows more than a dozen different languages. Oh wait, she didn't learn them. She just kissed some random guys, didn't she?

Even so, many people say she is stupid. In fact, people started talking to her verrrryyyy slowly and loudly whenever they talked to her after Bob published a copy of his report in the tabloids.

But in reality, Starfire is actually very smart. She understands the principles of aerodynamics, air pressure, center of gravity, etc., and she can apply it to her flight techniques to create deadly aerial assaults. Plus, she knows how to hack the federal government's computer data network and she once built a perfect replica of an Ancient Roman chariot, complete with weapons. She just hasn't bothered to let anyone know that she knows all those things.

Which was why even her friends sometimes questioned her sanity.

Like that time Robin caught her eating some titanium in the garage.

Or when Raven nearly went insane when Starfire was reading Where the Red Fern Grows and wouldn't stop crying.

How about that time Beast Boy ate one of her recipes and turned blue for a few days?

Or when Cyborg let Starfire help repair his T-Car and it blew up?

But all in all, Starfire isn't stupid. She's just different from us, that's all. Even if she is a little crazy in the head sometimes.

AN: I AM SO SICK of writers decipting Star as an idiotic, stupid, clingy, byotchy little kid. SHE ISNT STUPID. She's just unaccustomed to earth stuff, which explains her different way of talking. If you call Starfire stupid, you're basically calling every foreigner stupid, because that's what she is. A foreigner. Not an idiot.


	5. Super Emo Gothic Raven

AN: This one kinda hits both the angstiness of Raven and the gothiness of Rachel Roth. Next chapter will be about Robin.

Super Emo Gothic Raven

Raven, aka Rachel Roth, was very emo and gothic. She liked to cut herself with safety scissors and she liked the color black. Because she's emo and gothic.

At her high school she was like the emoest person, and was the loner, and everyone hated her. She also had angst. Angst. Angst. Raven, aka Rachel Roth, also had a crush on Robin, aka Dick Grayson. Except Dick was going steady with Starfire, aka Kory Anders. Or Kori. Whichever way you want to spell it.

Kory, or Kori, was a very preppy byotch. She called everyone friend and could lift up a truck with one hand. That was why everyone hated her. Because she was really strong and could beat anyone up.

But no one really cares about her, because this story is about Raven, the super emo gothic girl. Let's pretend she's half TeenTitan and half highschoolgirl. So she has like super dark mysterious telekinetic powers, and she also has the power to cut herself with anything, including Playdoh. Yeah, she totally has the skills doesn't she? Don't ask me how she does it. It's a trade secret.

So one day, Raven was lamenting about how everyone hated her at the lunch table where she sat… aloooooone.

"I am lamenting about how everyone hates me," she told herself. "Everyone hates me. I am goth. I also have no friends. I also have a father who wants to destroy the world. Yes, I am quite the emo one."

"HEY THAR," said Beast Boy, aka Garfield Logan. He was green. "HOW YA DOIN."

Raven blew him up with her super emo gothic powers.

"AS I WAS SAYING…" she said to herself. "Since I am emo I must go cut myself. TO THE CUT-CAVE."

She went to the girls' bathroom and took out a little blob of Playdoh from her pocket. Then she cut herself with it. Then she wrote some depressing poetry, because that's apparently what she does every time she cuts herself. Kind of like a post-sex cigarette, I guess.

"Now I feel even more emo," she said sadly, which meant she was happy inside, but it still meant she was sad even though she was technically happy to be sad though it was not possible for someone as sad and emo as her to be happy about being sad, because if she was happy about being sad she wouldn't technically be emo because they aren't allowed to be happy. About being sad. Apparently.

Then Kory, or Kori, came in the bathroom. She shrieked girly-ly at the sight of the blood splattered walls. Then Kori, or Kory, punched a hole in the wall because she felt like it. Then she left to go make out with Dick.

But nobody cares about that, because this is clearly an angsty story with Raven, aka Super Emo Gothic Girl, which means NO ROMANCE ALLOWED. Unless…

"HEY THAR," said Beast Boy, aka Garfield Logan.

No not him. I'm talking about SUPER EMO OC BOI.

Some random guy came in the bathroom, because he is clearly a transgender and is still confused whether he is a boy or girl. But he is clearly a boy because I am putting in 'he.'

"Hellooooo," he said in a chocolatey smooth voice that was clearly depressed and lonely. "I am Super Emo OC Boi. Since you are clearly emo and gothic, Raven, we were simply made for each other."

But no. Raven didn't like him so she blew him up.

Raven, aka Rachel Roth, aka Super Emo Gothic Girl left the stereotypical preppy high school to go be a Teen Titan because her shift as a high school girl was over. She put on her leotard thingy and cloak thingy and went to the tower.

"Hey Raven your Super Sharp Jagged Spiky Pointed Razor Knife came in the mail." Cyborg told her. Then he said Booyah for no apparent reason.

"Exxxcellent…" she hissed. She slithered over to her Super Sharp Jagged Spiky Pointed Razor Knife and opened it up. It was so sharp that it cut her DC Comics counterpart in another dimension. "Now I am officially the most Emo character on Fanfiction…"

"Not quite," said Robin. "You forgot about one very special boy…"

"WHO???" Raven demanded.

"Sasuke Uchiha," he said with a smirk.

So Raven broke out of the Teen Titans section and stormed over to the Naruto section. Once there, she killed Sasuke with her Super Emo Gothic Powers.

"NOW," she said. "I AM THE EMOEST OF THEM ALL."

And Raven depressedly became the most abused angsty character ever to set foot in the realm of Fanfics.

AN: Jeez, everyone seems to think that Raven is emo and goth. She isn't. Really. It's like labeling Star as a byotchy idiotic child. Doesn't anyone remember that one episode (i forgot which) where she SMILED at the end? and it wasn't an evil smile. It was a real smile.


	6. Robin Saves the Day

AN: Hooray for complete randomness :D  
One thing I don't understand is why some think that Sladin is cool. Okay, how is a middle aged man raping a teenage boy considered sexy? It's plain disgusting and wrong. Really. I don't get it.  
PS dont worry no Sladin here. I just can't write that kind of stuff. I just can't.

Robin Saves the Day, and Gets in Some Other Mischief

The Titans were fighting a monster. Again. It was strong, like that one from chapter one. It was beating them up. As usual.

"Oh no whatevs shall we does?" Cyborg yelled out while the monster whacked him silly.

"I don noes but wes getting pwnd!" Starfire yelled back.

"Wese gonna dies!" Beast Boy cried. Raven nodded in agreement while they stood by and watched the monster beat up Cyborg. Because everyone hates Cyborg, naturally.

Then suddenly in an overdramatic puff of smoke and a bunch of random theme music (DUN DUN DUN) Robin popped out of nowhere.

"OMG where ya been???" Cyborg yelled.

"Fear not for I shall save you, my pathetic and weak teammates!" Robin said heroically. Then he punched the monster and it died. With one hit. Because Robin's cool like that. "There! Now you are all safe, you pitiful people!"

The Titans started talking normal again.

"Seriously, where the hell were you???" Cyborg yelled. Again.

"That is not of your concern…" Robin said mysteriously. He swooped his cape in front of his face (mysteriously, of course) and gracefully danced away to who knows where.

"I believe Robin is taking what you call… pot and weed, yes?"

Raven nodded sadly.

Back at the tower, Robin leapt into the bathroom. He put on a ridiculous amount of hairgel (because no Robin fanfic is complete without the gel) on his already ridiculously stiff hair. Then he sprayed a bunch of hairspray, hurting the environment.

Then he went to his room to sulk, because he is almost as emo and depressed as Raven, as many people seem to believe. Robin gazed at his many pictures of Slade he had collected. Then he started filling out paperwork, because that's what he always does. He does paperwork. For fun. Then he went on the internet to look for Slade.

"Hey man wanna play video games?" Beast Boy asked.

"ARGHHGHHGHH!!!!one!!!eleven!!!!" Robin screamed. "CANT YOU EVER LEAVE ME ALONE I HAFTA FIND SLADE HES MY LIFE OBSESSION I NEEDTA FIND HIM I HAFTA I HAFTA I HAFTA!!!!!onehundredeleven!!!!!"

Beast Boy nervously backed away.

Six hours later Robin was on Google Earth looking for Slade.

"Robin you said we have a date tonight, because many of our fans are pairing us up." Starfire said.

"NOOOOOOO FINDING SLADE IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT I HAFTA FIND HIM COZ APPARENTLY I LOVE HIM IN A CRACK PAIRING CALLED SLADIIIIIINNNNNNNN WHERE WE MAKE LOVE AND OTHER DIGUSTING THINGS LIKE THAT THAT MANY SEEM TO FIND SMEXYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!"

"We are SO over," Starfire huffed. She flew away to go blow something up.

The next morning Robin was searching in online chatrooms for Slade.

"Hey man I'm making waffles you want some?" Cyborg asked.

"I DONT THINK SO FIRST OFF YOURE A HORRIBLE COOK AND SECOND I NEEEEEEEEED TO FIND SLAAAAADE GOSH WHY WONT ANYONE UNDERSTAND MY OBESSSSSSIOOOOONNNNN??????questionmark????"

Cyborg ran away, crying like a leetle girl.

It went like that for the next many many manee days. Robin screamed at anyone who tried to get him away from the internet and drank only Red Bull for the whole time. He never slept and he grew a looooooong beard and mustache. Cuz apparently he finally hit puberty after oh so many years.

"Guys, it's official," Raven said in her usual boring voice to the other three (sane) Titans. "Robin has become… a nOOb."

"Oh, I expected this would happen all along." Starfire said, examining her nonexistent nails.

"Me too," Beast Boy said.

"Geez, Rae, you're kinda slow in all this aren't you?" Cyborg asked disdainfully.

"Well, no one really tells me anything…"

Then Robin came in the room, trailing his loooooong beard and mustache behind him.

"I. Found. Him." He said dramatically. "But first, I need to cut off and donate my beard and mustache to a wig shop."

After that totally unnecessary part of the story, the Titans went to an abandoned warehouse. Because apparently Slade has a thing for warehouses and just loves to play hide and seek in them with his robot henchmen.

"Hello… children," said Slade. Also, apparently he can't think of any better insults.

The Titans fought him after many exchanged puns. And yadda yadda yadda. Robin ended up facing Slade while his totally weak and pathetic teammates fought a bunch of robots that they could have just blown up with Cyborg's nuclear bomb. But noooo, they just HAVE to fight them the hard way, don't they?

After a very long and boring conversation, Robin and Slade finally started fighting.

-Enter fight scene here-

"We will meet again… children," a slightly bruised Slade said before gracefully dancing away to who knows where. Wait, did I already say that line before? Anyways, his surviving robots pirouetted after him.

"MY DEFEAT SHALL BE AVENGEDDDDD!!!!!!!one!!!eleven!!!" Robin screamed to no one in particular. "But for the meantime… TO THE INTERNET!!!!"

"Aw ****" said the other Titans.


	7. Insanity, Plus Some Really Bad Jokes

AN: This one is sort of a mixture of a ton of different BB fanfics that I've read that made no sense at all. Personally, I didn't think that I did a very good job with this one because of some tests I needed to study for. The education drained the funny part of my brain. So tell me what you think of this one.

Insanity, Plus Some Really Bad Jokes 

Beast Boy was green. His skin and eyes and hair were green. His teeth were also green, but he used some whiteners to get that fresh look. He also had pointy ears. That was why a lot of people thought he was an elf.

"Aw you a elf, mistah?" this random little girl once asked.

"NO," Beast Boy said.

Anyways, people also thought he was stupid. No, not as stupid as Starfire. She's in Lalalalalalalalalalala-land in her own little crazy world. But Beast Boy is also dumb. Enough said.

One day Beast Boy was feeling particularly angsty. Almost as angsty as Raven when she was in a good mood. So to vent out his anger he released his inner beast thing.

"RAWWWRRRR" he rawwwrrrred. Then he destroyed a bunch of stuff. Then he beat up all the Titans, but Raven miraculously saved him with the powah of LUV. Because LUV is the answer to everything, including global warming. Not really, though.

The next day everything was back to normal. Beast boy was feeling particularly lustful. Raven strangely accepted his advances. A very disgusting and graphic lemon ensued, to many readers' delight.

Then everyone forgot about it because another angsty day followed. Terra had come back from the chocolate shop in Australia, missing an ear and a finger.

"Beast Boy I love you so much won't you marry me?" Terra said.

"BACK OFF BYOTCH HES MINE," Raven yelled. Raven blew up Terra with her powers.

"NUUUU Rae whyd u kill her????" BB cried. He mourned over Terra's slightly damaged body. Raven started to cry also.

And in a totally dramatic scene, Beast Boy and Raven's tears magically came together to form a mystical OC fairy. The OC fairy brought Terra's slightly damaged body back to life, in exchange for a pair of Beast Boy's boxers. Which actually made sense because the OC fairy was just another crappy self insert of a BB fan.

"Eh heh heh," Beast Boy laughed. "Anyone up for a threes-"

Raven and Terra byotchslapped him and walked away to go shop with Starfire, who was still in Lalalalalalalalalala-land.

Starfire ran around the streets, tearing up streetlamps and eating cement.

But that's irrelevant to this BB-centered story.

So Beast Boy went to go hang out with his manly friends. Robin, Cyborg, Speedy, Aqualad, and some other random OC met him at the pizza place. Because pizza is so MANLY. They ate some pizza. And soda. Then the OC took his hood off.

BWAHAHAHA," Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl screamed. "REMEMBER ME???????!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!!!!!!!???????????"

The guys killed her viciously for her overuse of punctuation marks. Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl's perfectly shaped body drifted away into the horizon, never to be seen again.

The guys celebrated the tragic death of an OC with more pizza and some cake. Then Speedy and Aqualad left to go make out, because apparently many people think they are gay and make a smexy couple.

"Knock knock," Beast Boy snickered.

"Whos there," Robin and Cyborg said.

"Boo," Beast Boy giggled manly-ly.

"Boo who," Robin and Cyborg said.

"Why are you-"

Beast Boy was cut off as Robin and Cyborg kicked him into the street for telling a horrible joke and ruining the whole story.

"HEY!" Beast Boy yelled. "I had a real KICK out of-"

Cyborg blasted him a gajillion miles away, conveniently interrupting his pun.

"Now the whole story stinks, and we'll get horrible reviews," Robin cried, sobbing into his fancy monogrammed handkerchief. Cyborg cried along with him.

Meanwhile, Beast Boy landed in Gotham City, where many BatmanxTT crossovers take place. The Joker came by in his bright yellow clown car (or whatever he drives nowadays) and kidnapped Beast Boy. Batman went to go save him because he had nothing better to do that day. He beat up Joker. Beast Boy was freed. And stuff. And Beast Boy became Batman's new sidekick, because it's every writer's dream to have BB become the Dark Knight's apprentice. Obviously.

But no. Batman didn't like Beast Boy so he mailed him back to Jump City in a crate.

So everything returned to normal for the Teen Titans, besides the fact that Starfire had to go to a mental asylum for eating half the city. But no one really cares about that, because this story is about Beast Boy.

Then a mysterious OC (not Super Gracious Magnificent Wonderful Beautiful Sexy Splendid Brilliant Sparkling Luminous Stunning Gorgeous Amazing Fantastic Girl) appeared. She was reeaaaallleeee pretty and was perfect in every single way, and she was green. She said that she was BB's long lost mother. She became a Teen Titan, and they all lived happily ever after. THEEEE ENDDDDD

AN: Yeah, it was totally random and didn't make much sense. I've read all sorts of BB stories. Angsty, humorous, actiony, you name it. I only took the outrageous BB fics and mashed them up with some Amethyst Turtle magic to make it into my own little insane chappy. REVIEW OR I SHALL EAT YOU


	8. The Waffle King

AN: Yet another lame chapter. I'm running out of ideas (oooohhh nose) so requests and suggestions will be greatly appreciated.  
I have no idea why I called this the Waffle King.

The Waffle King

No one likes Cyborg. He isn't weird or wacky in any way, like BB or Star, and he's magnetic. No one likes a magnetic friend. You know why? Because they stick to you and never let go!!! Yeah, that was a bad one.

Anyways, the Titans were at the mall of shopping. Many popular pairings took place. StarxRob, BBxRae, SpeedyxCheshire, ArgentxHotspot, etc etc etc. It was pure horror. What was even scarier was that yet another stupid OC managed to find her way into this story. Cyborg was automatically thrown together with her because no one else wanted to be with him. Except for Bumblebee. But she's not here right now.

The OC's name was Sara Sihm, and obvious hint to Sarah Simms and Sarasim. It is a VERY original name, dontcha think??? ANYWAYS, she was also a cyborg. And stuff. Which was why the two were naturally made for each other.

But no. Cyborg didn't like her so he sent her to the dungeons to rot for another squillion years with the rats.

Cyborg sat at the table, watching his teammates make out.

Soon he got tired of taking photos of them to send to the tabloids, so he went back to the tower to obsess over his car. Then he started kissing various electronic appliances.

"What are you doing?" Raven asked in her usual boring voice.

"Kissing my ipod," Cyborg replied. "She has over 5000 songs, the little fatty!"

Raven sank into the ground. Because that's apparently what she always does. She sinks into the ground.

Cyborg chucked his very fat ipod out the window and went to go make out with the T-Vision, their now officially named giant TV. But Robin was busy watching Little Einsteins, so he went outside. HERE COMES THE CLIMAX DUN DUN DUN.

Cyborg was busy barbecuing some decapitated cow parts when BROTHER BLOOD mysteriously came out of nowhere, resurrected from the dead by some unknown force that is not important to this story.

"BWAHAHAHA!" he laughed evilly. "I HAVE STOLEN ALL OF YOUR CAPITAL LETTERS FOR MYSELF. NOW YOU ALL MUST BOW DOWN TO MY VERY LOUD VOICE!!!!!"

it was true. only BROTHER BLOOD was capitalized. everything else was small and meaningless, just like politics. (an: no intended offense to any politicians happening to read this. btw, aren't you supposed to be in congress?)

"nooooooo!!!" cyborg screamed. except it wasn't really a scream. more like a whisper. sort of.

"TEE HEE GIGGLE GIGGLE," BROTHER BLOOD giggled ooc-ly.

"booyah! booyah! booyah!" Cyborg said desperately. but no matter how hard he tried, it always came out as a whisper.

"NOW YOU AND ALL YOUR PATHETIC BUT FAMOUS FRIENDS MUST JOIN MY CULT OF EVIL BRAINWAHSHED CHILDREN!!!!" BROTHER BLOOD yelled.

and he brainwashed them. except for cyborg. and a plot seemingly similar to Season 3's arc took place. then cyborg booyahed BROTHER BLOOD and took their capital letters back.

"Golly-wowzers-jeepers-creepers-zoinks-cupcakes-clorox-tissue-hemoglobin, Cyborg!" Robin said. "You got all our capital letters back!"

"BOOYAH!"

"DUDE!"

"TITANS, GO!"

"AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!"

Everyone looked at Starfire. She shrugged.

"I do not have my own catchphrase. If I did, I believe it would be something along the lines of 'Glorious,' but I am SO not saying that. From now own, I demand more attention and my own season arc."

But it never happened, because Teen Titans was cancelled forever. Everyone cried. Cyborg made waffles to cheer everyone up.

AN: I can't believe they didn't give Star her own story arc. I mean, everyone else had their own. And Terra.


	9. Invasion of the Idiots

AN: Thank you to DeathIsOnlyTheBeginin, bunnyxx, Blues32, The Aceman, you,don't,know, WierdoWraithGirl, Kick Ass Kids, and Hybrid X for all your reviews! And thanks to all you other people who suscribed/faved!  
One type of fics i don't like are the ones like: "Mary Sue, an ordinary girl, has somehow gotten into the TT universe. Follow her adventures as she has a jolly old time with the Teen Titans!" Really, it's only self-insertion gone extreme. Extremely bad, that is. So I decided to have a jolly old time making fun of those in this here story :B

Invasion of the Idiots

The Titans were in their Tower, being lazy and doing nothing. They were just sitting around. Doing nothing. Like stereotypical teenagers.

MEANWHILE, in the city, a mysterious portal appeared in the middle of the street. A bunch of drivers honked angrily at it. Then, a girl stepped out of it.

She was ordinary, actually. Her hair was ordinary, her clothes were ordinary, and her eyes were ordinary. Except for her shoes. She was wearing a pair of bright yellow wellingtons with blue polka dots.

This, my friend, is the typical fangirl.

"OMG!!!!!111!!!11!!" She squealed. "LYK, IM IN JUMP CITY!!! 2 THE TITANS TOWER!!!!111!!!!"

She stole a car and drove over to the giant T sitting smack dab in an open clearing where a bunch of villains could blow it up easily. I don't know how she got over the water. Let's pretend there is no water, for now.

"HAI GUYS!!!!" she yelled as crashed the car through the window.

"Dude, how'd she get past security?" Beast Boy yelled.

"I dunno, but she is GOIN DOWN!" Cyborg yelled back.

"Why are we yelling?" Starfire yelled.

Everyone ignored her.

"Lyk, im ur #1 fan!!!!" the girl said. Her name was Mary. Mary Sue, to be exact. "I kno all about eech of u, and I draw grotesk piccys of u on deviantart lyk ALL the tyme!!!"

"Ergh, that's nice…" Robin said. He was confused. As usual. "I'm going to have to ask you to-"

"MARRY MEEE???" Mary Sue interrupted rudely. "TTLY!!!!"

She leapt into Robin's scrawny chicken arms and began attacking his face.

Starfire grabbed Mary Sue and ripped her head off without blinking an eye. The others stared at her in shock.

"On my planet, I killed people all the time," she shrugged.

The Titans soon forgot about Mary Sue, and the fact that her body was still in their Tower. They resumed to their pointless and menial activities.

"Is it me, or does it smell like rotting bodies?" Raven asked, sniffing the air.

"It's you," Beast boy said.

MEANWHILE, the portal in the middle of the city was still there. Several unfortunate people had fallen into it, but no one cares about background bystanders. Then a boy crawled out.

He was ordinary, just like Mary Sue.

"****!!!" he yelled. "I'm in ****ing Jump City!" This ****ing RULES!!!!"

He ran over to the T. After being punched by Mr. T, he ran over to Titans Tower.

"WASSUUUUP???" He yelled, flipping his pierced tongue around. Because having a tiny little hole in your tongue is cool, obviously. "AHM GARY STU!!!!!"

The very annoying boy began running around and knocking stuff over. Robin whacked him with his staff thingy, and he fell over.

"Now we've killed two people," Cyborg pointed out.

"I'm not dead," Gary Stu said. "I was just kno-"

Robin hit him repeatedly until his head started bleeding.

"AS I WAS SAYING," Cyborg said loudly. "We have now killed two people. But they do not matter, because they are merely rabid fangirls. No one cares about them. Continue on with your meaningless bustling, fellow Titans."

They continued being inaccurately stereotypical teenagers.

BUT, the portal was still there. And soon, in the real world, many TT fans found it.

"NOW WE CAN LYK SOSHALIZE W/ OUR HEEROSE AND B THER BFFLUDDTAOUTTGTOT(bestfriendsforlifeuntildeathdothemapartoruntilthetitansgettiredofthem)!!!111!!!!one!!!!" they all cheered. And they stormed through the portal like billygoats. They destroyed the city, trampling innocent background bystanders (who no one really cares about) and chucking small pebbles at buildings to annoy people inside them.

"Titans, go!" Robin yelled. They were alerted by whoever alerts them.

The Titans all gathered in a DRAMATIC and TTLY KEWL pose in the middle of the street.

"HOOOOOOEEEESNAP!!!!!" the rabid fangirls yelled. They joined together and formed a Fangirltron and grabbed the Titans. "GOOOOOO PAIRINGS!!!!!"

"Well, that was unexpected," Cyborg said.

The Fangirltron circled the globe, kidnapping all the other insignificant Titans that appeared in only one or two episodes but are still popular in fanficdom nonetheless.

And the Fangirltron kept all of them in a giant hamster cage, for its/his/her own nefarious purposes.

"I DEMAND THAT HOTSPOT ASK ARGENT OUT!!!!!1111!!!" it/he/she yelled.

"But I don't even know her!" Hotspot yelled back. Argent nodded in agreement, but she won't say anything in this story because she isn't important enough.

"NUUUUUU!!!!111!!!!" it/he/she screamed. "THEN CRACK SHALL ENSUE!!!!!"

It/he/she grabbed Aqualad and Speedy and began mashing their faces together.

"SO not cool, man/woman/it!" they yelled. Eventually it/he/she got tired of that and put them back in the hamster cage.

"IM DEH NUMBA WUN FAN OF DE TENE TYTANS!!!!!!!" the Fangirltron screeched. "I VIST DEVIANTART ADN FANFICION DAYLEE NAD I RITE AWFUL STOREES TAT EYE TINK R AHMAZING!!!!"

But no. The Titans don't like their fans, so they killed it/he/she with their SUPERAWESOMESPECTACULAR powers of PUREJUSTICEGOODNESS.

Now that that was over, the Titans all returned to their natural habitats. Because it's wrong to take animals away from their homes and put them in giant hamster cages. But that's irrelevant to this story.

"Now what shall we do?" Starfire asked in their boring tower of boringness.

"I guess we should go stop all those crimes that are happening in the city right now," Robin said. "But I think we had enough exercise for one day."

So they settled down to watch their T-vision. But the only thing that was on was news about the crimes happening in the city, so they went to get pizza.

"Dude, shouldn't we stop them?" Beast Boy asked as several bank robbers ran by.

"Nah," Robin said. "The police'll get them."

"Booyah!" Cyborg yelled for no apparent reason.

They had pizza.

"Hey, Titans," a perfectly normal background bystander said. "Can I have an autogra-"

"FANGIRL!!!!!" Starfire screamed. The Titans began pummeling the innocent background bystander. But no one bothered stopping them, because no one really cares about those background bystanders.

"Well, I think that's the last of them," Raven said in her usual boring voice.

And so the Teen Titans developed Fangirlphobia.

But no. Little did the Titans realize, there was a whole universe of rabid fangirls in the real world. And that the portal was still open. CLIFFHANGER OOOHSNAP!!!!

AN: Just so you know, I'm not continuing this plotline. But if I get a jasquillion reviewwwsssss... ;D


	10. Slutfire

AN: Okay, this one was done purely out of anger towards CERTAIN fics. And by CERTAIN fics, I mean the Rae/Rob ones where Starfire is decipted as this evil little bitch who is obsessed with Robin and determined to KIIILLL everyone. OOC, anyone?  
P.S. I'm being sarcastic with EVERY LITTLE detail in this one. I am against everything that I have stated in this fic, which does not really make much sense. I think.

Slutfire

Starfire is obsessed with Robin, as everyone knows. She collects bits of his hair and tapes them in her diary, and keeps every tissue he has blown his snotty nose in. Yes, she is quite the stalker, isn't she.

And, as I have mentioned before, Starfire is a very stupid girl in Lalalalalalala-land in her own crazy little world. But I think you already know that.

"Heeeyyyyy Robbbiiininnnn," she drooled as Robin came in.

"OMFG I GOTTA FIND SLADE LAYTAH GAIS!!!!!!" he yelled as he ran off to his room.

Little did Starfire know, Robin and Raven were going out.

"Robin and Raven are going out????" she yelled.

"Uh, yeah," Cyborg said. "They were going out for the last nine months."

"NOOOOO!!!!!" she screamed.

And in a totally dramatic and angsty scene, she started crying and sobbing and stuff. Then she took Raven's Super Sharp Jagged Spiky Pointed Razor Knife and began slashing at her wrists. In obvious anguish. Obviously.

"HEY that's my Super Sharp Jagged Spiky Pointed Razor Knife!" Raven protested. "Only MY blood is allowed to get on it! YOU HAVE TAINTED THE BLADE!!!!"

Raven sank into the ground, muttering about hepatitis and yeast infections.

She ended up falling from the ceiling into Robin's Slade-themed bedroom, complete with Slade bedsheets and Slade wallpaper (each sold separately)

"Oh whatever is the matter honeybuns?" Robin asked in a sickening sweet voice that makes me barf up things that I have never eaten before.

"Oh sugarplum! Slutfire has tainted my emo knife!" Raven cried, swooning and staggering around for no apparent reason.

"You mean Starfire?"

"Yes, that is what I said. Slutfire."

Robin shrugged and carried Raven all the way to their operations center.

"Next time, you carry me," he gasped, nearly crushed under Raven's weight.

"YOOUUUU!!!!!" Starfire screamed.

"Soulja Boy Off in This Hoe Watch Me Crank It Watch Me Roll Watch Me Crank Dat..." Beast Boy rapped. "…um… I'll be quiet now."

He ran off to who knows where.

"I WILL KIIIIILLL YOUUUU!!!!!!" Starfire screeched, flying up in a cloud of FURY and ANGER and RAGE and WRATH and all that other stuff.

"NOT BEFORE I KIIILLL YOUUUU FOR TAINTING MY EMO BLADE!!!!" Raven screeched back.

"Heh heh," Robin chuckled. "No need to fight over me… but on second thought… go at it."

Starfire and Raven flew at each other's throats, roaring like giant kitties. Because this is a catfight, obiously.

Starfire ended up bleeding all over the carpet.

"Aw man," Cyborg groaned. "I ain't cleaning that up."

So they left her lying there, because everyone loves Star-bashing fics.

"Now we can live together in PEACE and LOVE and HARMONY and all that other worthless junk!" Robin declared, one arm around Raven, the other sweeping out at nothing in particular.

"Yes, we can!" Raven cried out happily. "Because the evil Slutfire is now dead!"

"Actually, I'm not d-"

Raven stamped repeatedly on Starfire with her purple moccasin thing until she fell back onto the carpet.

"Let's all celebrate with cake!" Beast Boy said.

"Hooray!"

And the Titans celebrated the tragic death of another teammate with cake and donuts. They performed a traditional folk dance around Starfire's body, singing 'Crank That' by Soulja Boy.

Because everyone hates Starfire, naturally.

BUT in a dramatic PLOT TWIST she magically came back to life by the power of some crazy Tameranean thing that involves many elements that are too boring and dull to put to detail.

"I SHALL HAVE MY REVENNNGE!!!!!!" Starfire screamed. She flew over to the tower and started beating Raven and Robin up, because she is obviously upset that Robin can't be hers. Because, of course, Starfire always has to be the clingy whiner who is overemotional all the time.

BUT THEN all the Titans joined together and defeated the now evil Slutfire. I mean Starfire.

And they celebrated with more cake and donuts. Robin and Raven started making out, and they all lived sort of happily ever after.

AN: And there you have it. The crazed up version of a Starfire-basher. I was inspired by Kryalla Orchid's story, Stolen. Read it. It perfectly fits all the characters, and its the only Rob/Rae fic that I actually seriously loved.  
Not that I'm a Star/Rob fanatic. Actually, I'm not much of a shipper, so don't flame me for this story.


	11. Sibling Rivalries

AN: I really don't understand those fics with the 'long lost siblings of the Teen Titans!!!!!OMG!!!!1111!!!' It's basically self-insertion in disguise.  
Anyways, thank you to Kick Ass Kids, NoName, The Aceman, Nikkiriii, WierdoWraithGirl, and Cicero Amaral, and anyone else who I carelessly missed for reviewing!!!  
Oh, and this chapter contains some language. And some intestines raining from the heavens above.  
Reviews shall be eaten by the Goat of Gratitude!!! :D

Sibling Rivalries

After the events involving Super whats-her-face Girl, you would think that the Titans would know better than to accept OC's. But no. I'm writing this story, so what I say goes.

Anyways, the Titans were out having Chinese food, the not as good alternative to pizza that tends to pop up in many stories. They were having trouble communicating with the waiters.

"I SAID I WANT TOE FOO!!!!" Beast Boy yelled at the waitress.

"您的面孔是丑恶的!" The waitress yelled back. She stomped away after spilling some hot tea on Beast Boy. On purpose.

The other Titans shrugged and continued eating their stereotypical Chinese food. They ignored Beast Boy's screams of obvious anguish and pain.

"Friends," Starfire said in her annoyingly high-pitched voice. "Have I ever mentioned that I have more than seventy eight siblings, not including Bitchfire?"

"You mean Blackfire."

"Yes, Bitchfire."

No. The Titans did not know that Starfire had more than seventy eight siblings. They didn't really care, actually. So they ate the rest of their stereotypical Chinese food and left without paying the bill. Because heroes don't need to pay bills, obviously.

When they got back to their tower a rainbow was waiting for them. Well, it wasn't really a rainbow. More like a bunch of different hair colors, actually.

"Sister!" the mob of funky hair colors yelled out.

"Brethren!" Starfire yelled back. She turned around to face the stunned Titans. "Friends, these are my seventy nine brothers and sisters."

"What are their names?" Raven asked in her usual boring voice.

"Well, they are clearly insignificant and unworthy of my attention so I never bothered learning all their names." Starfire said, knocking several of her brothers and sisters over.

"WE SHALL MAKE TEM ALL HONERERY TITANS!!!!!" Robin declared. And he did. They all became Teen Titans. But then Slade came back from McDonalds and killed them all, much to Starfire's delight.

"Hooray, all my siblings except for Bitchfire are now dead!" she cheered. Slade went back to his underground Slade-Cave.

"Shouldn't you be sad?" Cyborg asked as they cleaned up the dead bodies.

"No, not really. On my planet, one's death is considered a blessing for everyone else."

"That makes sense," Robin agreed, spraying air freshener everywhere.

Everything went back to normal the next day. EXCEPT a strange girl was running around the city, stealing… cucumbers… and dish soap…

"I am ROBYN, an obvious reference to ROBIN!" she announced. "And I am ROBIN's long lost sister, a result of an experiment gone wrong! In other words, I am a FREAK OF NATURE!!!!"

They made her an honorary Titan. No questions asked. They all had picnics and stuff. Because that's what the Teen Titans do in their spare time. They go on picnics and eat decapitated cow parts smothered in Cy-B-Q Sauce (official marinade of the Teen Titans). They also play football, because football ROX!!!!!1111!!!

Then some villain came by and tried to kill everyone and steal some money. Robyn showed off her SUPERAWESOMENINJAPWNING skillz and blew up the villain with moves ripped from Naruto. Obviously. Then Robyn suddenly blew up also in a dramatic flash of yellow, the result of some weird thing too boring to put in detail.

"Dude, your sister just blew up," Beast Boy said as intestines rained from the heavens above. He opened a T-brella (official umbrella of the Teen Titans).

"Meh," Robin said waving his rubber gloves around. "She was taking up our screentime, anyways."

So they forgot about Robyn, and the fact that her innards were strewn around the picnic park. They forget about things a lot, don't they?

ANYWAYS, the next day a giant dragon was on the loose. It was setting stuff on fire with its tequila breath. It set all the Titans on fire. They ran around, screaming. Then a girl showed up and fixed everything using her techno skillz. The dragon died. And stuff. The girl was a cyborg, just like Cyborg.

"I am Cyborgalishita!" the girl said. "And I am Cyborg's sister!"

She was made a Titan. Just like every other person who asks.

They all did fun stuff together and made macaroni art. But then in a dramatic plot twist it was revealed that Cyborgalishita was, in fact, um… a Mary Sue. She was kicked out and told never to return. Cyborgalishita immigrated to Sweden, where she would be accepted for WHO SHE WAS and not for WHAT SHE WAS.

"Is there anyone else who has a sibling we should know about?" Robin asked while they were sitting around on their TV remote-eating couch.

"I have a brother named Dark Sorcerer of Evil Dark Mysterious Dark Villainous Dark Powerful Dark Wickedness Dark Sins. And Mark, my other brother." Raven said in her usual boring voice.

"Very well, we shall kill your brothers before they become main characters. Agreed?" Robin decided.

"Agreed."

The next day Dark Sorcerer of Evil Dark Mysterious Dark Villainous Dark Powerful Dark Wickedness Dark Sins showed up to kill Raven and set Trigon free in an effort to recycle the plotline from the Season 4 Arc. But then Mark showed up and killed Dark Sorcerer of Evil Dark Mysterious Dark Villainous Dark Powerful Dark Wickedness Dark Sins with his powers which were… um… good. Not Dark. Mark isn't the Dark one. Dark Sorcerer of Evil Dark Mysterious Dark Villainous Dark Powerful Dark Wickedness Dark Sins is the dark one. Not Mark. He is not Dark. I think you get it. MOVING ON.

Well, Mark was emo. But still.

And they all liiivvveed haaaaapileeeee evaaaahhh aftaaahhhh!!!!

Ha ha ha, no, I'm just kidding. Slade killed Mark, because that's what always happens to all of the siblings of the Teen Titans. Except for Bitc-I mean, Blackfire.

But the Titans obviously hate their siblings, because they didn't do anything when Slade blew Mark up with a rocket he bought at Toys'R'Us.

"Well, I guess the only one left is Beast Boy's sister." Cyborg said.

"Actually, she died of Rooster-itis when I was little," Beast Boy said.

"Oh, well then never mind."

The Titans went out to get some Chinese Food.

AN: Did you know that you can actually buy rockets at Toys'R'Us that can shoot up like a gajillion feet up? Well, that's what my tech teacher told me, anyways. Also, Cy-B-Q Sauce is really from the show. Really. It is.  
BTW, can anywon guess what the Chinese waitress was saying in the beginning? Because I don't know either. I THINK she was saying 'your face is ugly' but my Chinese is horrible, so I'm probably wrong.


	12. OMG LYK ITS HI SKOOL!

AN: Okay, what is the point of all those high school stories. Really, they practically have nothing to do with the Teen Titans, besides their alter-ego names and personalities. Those High School stories always annoyed me (though I have found a couple that I actually liked). Be warned, as this chapter contains a LOT of annoying speech. I guarantee, by the time you finish reading this you'll want to strangle me :D

OMG LYK ITS HI SKOOL!!!

This is high school. The Teen Titans are high schoolers. They don't have powers, and they are basically normal, ordinary, generic, common, basic, standard children. Which is quite pointless for a Teen Titans fic. Buuuut people seem to enjoy reading about normal, ordinary, generic, common, basic, standard high school stories, so who cares?

From now on, this chapter shall be written in HI SKEWL TERRMZ!!!!!111! You will be greatly annoyed. I assure you that.

STARRING raven as Rachel, beast boy as Garfield, cyborg as Victor, robin as Dick (yes, he is one isn't he), and starfire as Kory, or Kori, whichever way you want to spell it.

Following a typical high school story format will be SOOOO hard OMG.

"OMG lyk hai garlfrend!!!" Kori, or Kory, said to Terra (she doesn't get her own alter ego name because she isn't important enough).

"HAY OMG lyk lyk OMG!!!!" she squealed. And they continued squealing until a jock (because everyone loves rockheads) came by.

"Urgh hur hur hur hey ladies," Dick said seductively. He was tossing a football around. Or, if you prefer, he's holding a soccer ball or a basketball. You know what, it doesn't matter. MOVING ON.

"Hayyyyyy Dick!" Kori, or Kory purred. She sprouted a furry tail, but no one noticed.

Dick grabbed Kory, or Kori, and they went off somewhere to make out and have shmex and all those other things that high schoolers really shouldn't do at school. Which left Terra standing all by herself by the lockers.

"OMG lyk now lyk that lyk Kori, or Kory, isn't here lyk I don't hav any1 to lyk talk lyk 2!!!!" she cried. She began spurting tears of sadness from her eyes while posing with a hand on her hip. Then Garfield came by. No one knows what he is. Let's assume he's another jock, for now.

"HAY THAR!" he said cheerfully (because, u know, he's always the cheerful one). "WANNA MAYK OWT???"

"Shore!!!" Terra replied, her sprinkler system turning off. She and Garfield went off to do those things that Dick and Kori, or Kory, usually do.

But in the shadows of the hall… an evil presence lurked… this was… RACHEL ROTH. She is emo and goth. Let's put it that way. But even so, she somehow managed to be friends with Kory, or Kori. She always tries to kill Terra, though.

"Garfield is miiiinnneee!!!" Rachel hissed. She slinked off to go write some depressing poetry. And to make up some new ways of how to kill Terra.

Victor Stone was taking care of his car. Like he always does. His girlfriend, Karen Beecher was buzzing around him *cough Bumblebee cough phlegm.*

"IM KNOT gonna say it AGANE!!!" Karen yelled. "Get away from deh car foh one minut!!111!"

"NUUUUU!!!" Victor yelled. "U KNO WUT, IM GUNNA GO PLAI FUTBOL!"

He went to play football with some other macho-manly guys. Karen buzzed away to go feed on nectar.

Meanwhile, at the track, Wally West was… running. Well, what else would you do there? He and Ji- I mean Lucky were going steady, as many people like to put it. Lucky was unlucky. Enough said. Wally was fast. Not enough said.

OMG like Wally is like SUPER fast and like his buns are like SSSOOOO HAWT like OMFG he is like SO fast and SOOOOO HAWT like im gunna KILL lucky so like WALLY can be, like, MINE!!!!!1111!!!

Now that that's out of the way, let's move along all the way to the climax.

"OMG lyk theres lyk a DANCE!!!!11!!" Kori, or Kory squealed. Dick grabbed her and started making out with her. As they always do.

"HAY THAR!!!" Garfield said, walking up to the group. "Terra, you wanna go to teh DANSE wit meh???"

"SHORE TING!!!!" Terra squealed. They started making out. Victor took Karen and Wally took Lucky. Obviously.

"LYK OMFG lyk wat lyk am I lyk gonna WEAR????" Kori, or Kory, sobbed later that day. She, Rachel, and Terra were in her superawesomemansionwhichiamsojealousof trying on clothes. Kory, or Kori, had to build a brick wall between Rachel and Terra to prevent them from killing each other. Then Kory, or Kori's older sister came in.

"I WILL KILL YOU SOMEDAY!!!11!!!" Kom screeched, raking her claws across her HandyDandyBlackboard. (AN: Okay, I know where 'Kom' comes from, but seriously, KOM??? What kind of name is that??? Really, KOM??? You know what, I'm going to say Mandy. Because Mandy is better than Kom).

"AND I GOT A LEGAL NAME CHANGE!!!!!" Mandy screeched. She went back to her web of darkness to feast on more captured sou- I mean, her bedroom.

"Love yah too, sis!" Kori, or Kory called after her. "NOW HELP MOI CHOUS A DRESS!!111!!!" And Rachel and Terra helped her choose something to wear. Then they went to the mall to get an outfit for Terra. Rachel was too emo and goth to attend the preppy prep prep dance. This is too boring so let's skip to the actual dance.

"U LOOK SOOO HAWT!!!!!1111!!!" Dick drooled when he saw Kori, or Kori.

-Insert overly-dramatic description of dress here-

"U TOOOO!!111!" Garfield said to Terra.

-Insert not-as-dramatic description of dress here-

"WHAT R U WEARING????" Victor yelled to Karen.

-Insert description of bumblebee costume here-

"U MEEN IT ISNT A COSTUME PARTEE???" Karen yelled.

"NOOOOO!!!!!!" Victor yelled back. Dick, Kori (or Kory), Gar, and Terra left the happy couple to go inside.

Meanwhile, in a SINISTER shadow, Rachel Roth watched them all proceed inside.

"Exccccellent, my plan is workingggg," she hissed. She slithered through the back door.

They all danced. And they had punch. And other snacks. The couples also made out. And stuff.

Then Kitten Moth, the millionaire bimbo came by to ruin it all.

"I LURVE U DICKEEPOOOO!!!!!" she screamed in his ear.

"AUGGHH IM DEAF!!!!!" Dick screamed. Kori, or Kory, threw punch all over Kitten's dress. She melted into a puddle of ick.

Everyone danced some more. Then Rachel put her eeeevil plan into action. Terra was humiliated. Everyone laughed. Rachel felt guilty. She apologized. They all made up and everyone became FRIENDS. Except for Kitten. She died.

And that is the story of the Teen Titans in high school.

AN: Yes, many high school stories have a dance in them as the main climax. And a dance wouldn't be a dance without Kitten, the millionaire bimbo :D  
Seriously, though, all these hiskewl fics get on my nerves. I even saw one that had Kory, or Kori, and Terra as 11year old prostitutes. o_o


	13. Spawn with Excessive Dialogue

AN: Thank you to DeathIsOnlyTheBeginin, king of shao, and GMontag for reviewing :D  
Sorry if this one is disappointing. I got lost today while I was walking home (yeah, I'm that stupid) so I was pretty exhausted. Darn suburbs. All the streets look alike.  
Anyways, this one is mainly nudging the fics that have all the dialogue bunched together in one paragraph. Annoying, yes? And the ones with all the people talking at once, so you can't really tell what they're talking about.  
I also gave all the pairings (RobRae, StarRob, RaeBB, StarBB) children to make everyone happy. Cyborg gets a clone because he's just that kewl.

Spawn with Excessive Dialogue

The Titans were out having pizza. They were arguing over what they should get. But no one really wants to know if they have tofu or meat, so let's skip that part.

A BIG explosion blew up half of a haberdashery on the other side of the street. The Titans ran over.

"What just happened?" Beast Boy asked. The other Titans looked at him.

"Half of that haberdashery just blew up, obviously," Raven said in her usual boring voice.

Then a girl walked out of the flames. She had reeaaaaally long black hair and reaaaaallly green eyes. Then a second person came out. She had reaaaaally short black hair and reaaaaally purple eyes. A boy walked after her. He had reaaaaaally spiky green hair and reaaaaally purple eyes and green skin. Another boy followed suit. He had reaaaaally poofy red hair and reaaaaaaally green eyes and skin. And a bald kid walked out. He was half-machine (oooohhh it's a mystery who he is).

They are obviously the spawn of the Teen Titans. OBVIOUSLY.

"Oh mysterious people who are you?" Starfire asked.

Everyone ignored her.

Since no one can really think up of original names, I, the writer, shall think up of TTLY original names that no one else thought up of. YEAH, that's what I'll do.

The girl with black hair and green eyes is Nightstar, superspecialawesome daughter of Starfire and Robin. ORIGINALNESS WOOT.

The girl with short black hair and purple eyes is Dove, the notassuperspecialawesome daughter of Robin and Raven who is also COINCIDENTALLY named after a bird.

The boy with green hair and purple eyes is… um… Blorck. Because I can't think of any way to combine Beast Boy and Ravens' names together.

The other guy with red hair and green eyes is Beaststar, the disturbed child of Starfire and Beast Boy.

And the bald kid is Cyborg's little clone named Cell Phone Charger. Everyone calls him Cell for short because they are too lazy.

"We are in the past!" Nightstar announced, waving her arms around.

"Yes, we are." Dove said in a very boring and emo voice.

"Blorck says we should go buy some groceries!" Blorck said. Randomly.

"NO," Beaststar said.

"Booyah!" Cell Phone Charger said unnecessarily. Hey, I DID say he was a Cyborg clone.

The Teen Titans of this time went up to the five kids.

"Let's ignore the haberdashery that is currently in flames and go back to the tower for milk and cookies as we discuss the inevitable fact that there is some sort of evil on the loose which is why you five came to this time plus the possibility that there is going to be some gushy, mushy romance that will make no sense at all, all while confusing the reader with excessive dialogue." Robin said.

They went to the tower and left the haberdashery to DIE, the fiends.

Since there is an overpopulation of characters, the tower soon became crowded with confusing dialogue that no one likes.

-Introductionsintroductionsintroductionsintroductions-

"We came here because of a GREAT EVIL," Nightstar said, waving her arms around.

"And for some GROCERIES!" Blorck said.

"And I am clearly too emo and depressed to say anything, so I'm going to shut up now," Dove said.

"Someone kill me," Beaststar said.

"Wait, so I have two kids?" Robin asked.

"Ewwww I did it with HIM???" Starfire asked in disbelief, pointing an orange finger at Beast Boy.

"I'm really confused right now." Raven said in her usual boring voice.

"Sweet, I get two!" Beast Boy said.

"Why did I name you CELL PHONE CHARGER???" Cyborg asked Cell Phone Charger.

"Because you were charging your cell phone while cloning me," Cell said.

"That makes sense," Cyborg replied.

"As I was SAYING, there is an evil on the loose!!!" Nightfire yelled, still waving her arms around.

"What?" Robin yelled over the noise.

"I'm still not talking," Dove sang out.

"My groceries joke is obviously getting old, so I shall merely become a great nuisance to this story!" Blorck said to no one in particular.

"Someone kill me," Beaststar repeated.

"Cameo!" Argent yelled as she flew by randomly.

"Aren't we supposed to be discussing the evil?" Raven asked in her usual boring voice.

"Yes!" Nightstar yelled, still waving her arms around.

"Do I have any other clones?" Cyborg asked.

"Yeah, there's Digital Camera, Computer Monitor, and MP3 Player, your other three clones," Cell said.

"Shweet!" Cyborg cheered.

"What are we supposed to be talking about?" Starfire yelled.

Everyone ignored her.

"EEEVIL!!!!!" Nightstar screamed, waving her arms around.

"Don't your arms get tired?" Beast Boy asked.

"No, this is a popular form of exercise in the future," Nightstar said, still waving her arms around.

"So I did it with BOTH of them?" Robin asked, pointing at Raven and Starfire.

"Stay away from me, man-whore!" Raven said, slapping him. Starfire helped her push him out the window to his possible doom.

"LAWLS!" Blorck said.

"Still not talking," Dove sang.

"So do I get a girlfriend?" Cyborg asked.

"No. You get paired up with about a gajillion OCs, but they all die a horrible death at the hands of Silkie," Cell Phone Charger said.

"Silkie?!?" Starfire said incredulously.

"Yes, he and the Brain hook up together," Blorck said.

"WOAH crack-pairings much?" said Dove. "Oh, wait, STILL NOT TALKING!"

"EEEEVIL!!!!" Nightstar screamed, waving her arms around rapidly until she started floating off the ground. "Silkie is the EEEVIL!!!"

"Say wha?" Robin said as he crawled in the window. Raven and Starfire pushed him back out.

"So the Brain and Silkie are trying to kill us?" Starfire asked.

Everyone ignored her.

"Someone killll meeeee!" Beaststar screamed.

"Cameooooo!!!" Argent yelled as she flew by. Again.

Then Nightstar shot off a gun that she got out of nowhere, making everyone quiet down. Argent fell down from the air, bleeding. Nightstar pushed her body out the window just as Robin was crawling back in. They both fell down to their imminent dooms.

"Yes, long story short. Silkie wants to kill us all for some unknown reason that we never really bothered trying to figure out. The Brain is helping him." Dove said, obviously not talking. "And while all that crap is happening, you guys are running amuck having mutant babies with each other." She glared at Raven, Beast Boy, and Starfire. "Which explains HIM."

"Killlll meeee!" Beaststar cried.

"Okay," Raven said as she cheerfully ripped his head off. Everyone looked at her in shock. "What? He asked for it."

"Anyways, we have come to the past to kill Silkie." Blorck said.

"Sure." Cyborg said.

"What?" Cell Phone Charger asked rhetorically.

"Yeah, go kill him," Starfire shrugged. "He was getting annoying, anyways."

So the future spawn of the Teen Titans hunted down Silkie and speared him with a spork. Silkie died.

"What did I miss?" Robin asked as he crawled back in the window.

"Well, our children of the future just killed a reocurring character with a plastic spork," Starfire said. "Nothing out the ordinary here."

"And I'm going to start cloning myself with a nose hair!" Cyborg declared.

"And I am going to get a restraining order on Beast Boy," Raven decided.

"And I'm gonna go to Mexico!" Beast Boy said. Randomly. Raven slapped him for no reason whatsoever.

"Now that the great EEEEVIL, not including the Brain, is dead, we shall return to our own time," Nightstar said dramatically, waving her arms around.

"And hopefully, you'll all use protection," Dove said. The future spawn of the Teen Titans left in a Maaaaagical portal that conveniently opened next to them.

"What did they mean?" Cyborg asked. Everyone shrugged.

"Who's up for PAIRINGZZ????" Robin yelled out. Everyone cheered. They all started making out with each other, because everyone loves gushy romance scenes that involve unnecessary contact of the lips.

AN: Sorry for the crappy ending. I couldn't think of anything else.  
Just clearing things, I DO NOT hate Argent. She's cool. I just needed someone to play a cameo.  
But I didn't like that episode that introduced Silkie. It made Starfire look like a six year old child that was on happy pills.


	14. Crossovers Galore

AN: You would not believe how much fun I had writing this one. I've seen a couple of odd crossovers that passed too quickly, so I wanted to write my own. Try to guess all the cartoons/anime/TV shows/etc I used.

Crossovers Galore

In Jump City, chaos reigned. Innocent bystanders were somewhere where no one could see them. Because on the streets, a bunch of weird things were running around, wreaking havoc.

"What the heck?" Robin yelled as he saw all the, um, weird things running around. "Who are those guys?"

Superman flew down beside the Titans.

"Our Universes are merging. DOOMSDAY HAS COME!!!!" he screamed. He ran off, ripping up fire hydrants and crushing ATM machines.

"Okay then," Robin shrugged. "Titans, go put everyone back where they came from."

"The womb," Beast Boy guessed.

"That was a completely unnecessary and inappropriate joke!" Raven said, slapping him. The Titans ran off to eliminate all the weird things.

Robin saw someone who looked just like him, except his hair was completely gross and hideous and he was wearing super short shorts. That were like girl shorts.

"Golly-wowzers-jeepers-creepers-unicorns-pizza-Toronto-lamp-pencil-stickers-shoe-hotel-Walmart-cereal!" the Robin wannabe said when he saw the real Robin. The real Robin pushed him down a manhole and covered it up.

Meanwhile, Cyborg accidently stepped on the Powerpuff Girls.

"Aww man, I stepped in some crud!" he groaned, scraping them off with a spatula.

"NO ONE CAN BE MORE EMO THAN ME!!!!!" Raven screeched at Sasuke.

"OH YEAH!?!? EMO POWERS ACTIVATE!!!!" Sasuke yelled. He pulled out a knife and started slashing at his wrists. Raven took out her own knife and started cutting herself. Soon they were both swimming in a pool of their own blood.

"Hey sexy," Blackfire (who popped out of nowhere) said to Goku.

"Eh heh heh… heh." Goku chuckled nervously before flying away as fast as he and his glowing hair could.

"And who are you?" Starfire asked to another redhead.

"Kim Possible," she said, posing in a bunch of random kung fu poses. "Call me beep me if you wanna reach me!"

"Ehhhhh. No. I don't think I want to," Starfire said. She blew her up with her powers of destruction.

"I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!!!!" Mojo Jojo yelled. Beast Boy grabbed him in gorilla form and chucked him somewhere over the rainbow.

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," Dorothy said before being crushed by a giant machine.

"Team Rocket's gonna steal all your pokemon!" Jessie and James yelled.

"Ah, yes!" Starfire exclaimed. "Pokemon are a part of a staple diet on my planet!"

Ash and Pikachu ran away to go hide.

"Pffft!" Jimmy Neutron pffted to Team Rocket. "My machines are WAY better than that!"

Team Rocket crushed him with their giant machine. Then it suddenly blew apart. Team Rocket blasted off. AGAIN.

Static Shock flew by on his hoverdisc thingy and shocked Cyborg.

"GWAHAHAHA!" he laughed.

"Hey man that ain't cool!" Cyborg yelled. He shot him down with his sonic cannon. Static fell onto Captain Planet, who was lecturing several small children about the evils of pollution.

"This is so not environmentally friendly!" Captain Planet yelled out.

Meanwhile, Terra (who randomly invaded the story) was yelling at Toph.

"MY EARTHBENDING SKILLZ PWN YOURS!!!!" Toph screamed, throwing rocks around blindly.

"NOT A CHANCE, BYOTCH!!!!" Terra screamed back. They proceeded to throw small rocks at each other while Aang and the gang watched.

"Who wants to see a scam???" Ed, Edd, and Eddy yelled out. Robin pushed them all down a manhole.

"MY robot parts are SO much cooler than yours!!!" Cyborg bragged, dancing around Optimus Prime and Megatron.

"DIE, SCUM!!!!" a Highbreed yelled out, crushing Courage the Cowardly Dog and Catdog with his size 58 (or maybe it was 9) foot.

"Highbreed!!!!" Gwen screamed, throwing a bunch of energy beams at it. Ben and Kevin stood by and let her do all the work.

"Anodite!!!!!" Starfire screamed, throwing a bunch of starbolts at Gwen. An epic catfight ensued.

"Well, this is entertaining," Kevin said. Ben nodded in agreement.

"Donde esta mi mochila? Where is my backpack?" Dora the Explorer asked to no one in particular, running around. Cyborg stepped on her. By accident.

"Whoops," he said, scraping Dora off of his foot.

"I don't think this is the Camp," Courtney said to Duncan before Beast Boy accidently squished them in T-Rex form. By accident, of course. Then he came face to face with Stitch.

"Glarbleglrblerglarg," Stitch said. Beast Boy turned into a dog and chased him away, barking like mad.

"No, bad Stitch!" Lilo yelled, running after them.

"Dude, where's the hotel?" Zack asked Cody.

"Down THERE!" Robin yelled as he pushed them down a manhole, laughing maniacally.

"Robin! What did I tell you about killing people? Batman scolded as he swooped down out of nowhere. Then Spiderman swung by, singing The Isty Bitsy Spider.

"Never mind, gotta go!" Batman jumped away to go kill Spiderman.

"Hey sexy," Blackfire said to Samus. (She was wearing her suit).

"I'm a WOMAN!!!" Samus yelled angrily. She blasted Blackfire all the way to... um... far away land.

"Mom, can we go home now?" Bart and Lisa whined.

"Be quiet!" Marge said as Homer drove their car into the Mystery Machine.

"Yo dawgs, who just nudged my ride?" Fred yelled out.

"I DID!!!!" Robin laughed, blowing up the Mystery Machine and Homer's car with a bunch of bombs he keeps in his utensil belt. I mean, utility belt.

"Hey Arnold!" Helga yelled.

"What?" Arnold yelled back.

"Your head looks like a FOOTBALL!" she yelled.

"Did somebody say FOOTBALL???" Cyborg yelled. He picked up Arnold by his head and chucked him aaaaallll they way to who knows where. Helga ran away and drowned, unexpectedly.

Meanwhile, Bushido (who appeared in TWO episodes) encountered two oddly animated swordsmen named Link and Samurai Jack. They joined up and went to Japan to take over the anime and manga industry.

"I AAAAM THE EMOEST!!!" Raven screeched in victory, standing over Sasuke's heavily bleeding body. She ran off to go outdo someone else.

"Nooooo Sasuke!" Sakura cried.

"Believe it! He's dead! Get over it, byotch!" Naruto yelled.

"Alright girls, time to spy!" Sam, Alex, and Clover said.

"Nice suits," Beast boy drooled.

"FANBOY!!!" Sam, Alex, and Clover screamed. They ganged up on Beast Boy and began to beat him up. Then they ran off back to WHOOP.

"Alex, I think you got that spell wrong," Justin said, standing by Max. Alex shrugged. Raven snuck up behind them.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" she chanted. Alex, Justin, and Max blew up.

"I AM MORE GOTH THAN YOU!!!!" Sam yelled. Danny tried to get her attention, but it was no use.

"NO, I AM THE GOTHEST!!!!!" Raven screamed. They began to apply heavy layers of black eyeliner rapidly.

Meanwhile, Gwen was pwning Starfire. Ben and Kevin were still watching.

A bunch of little blue men exited some random mushrooms in the middle of the street. Then Cyborg stepped on them, but he didn't notice.

"MY POWERS STILL PWN YOURS!!!!!" Terra screamed as she continued throwing large rocks at Toph. Then Aang finally decided to step in and blew Terra far, far away where she would no longer be a nuisance to this story.

"Hey sexy," Blackfire (who returned from far away land) winked at Darth Vader.

"Eh, heh heh… heh," Darth Vader ran away as fast as he could.

"Hey Patrick, where the barnacles are we?" Spongebob asked.

"I dunno," Patrick said. Unexpectedly, Aqualad snuck up behind them and kidnapped them to add to his collection of oddities.

"Heh heh heh, Lois, that guy is wearing tights," Peter snickered. "Doesn't it remind you of the time that-"

"DON'T WANNA KNOW!!!!" Robin yelled as he pushed Peter and Lois down a storm drain, with some difficulty.

"Jeezus, Kyle, way to get us lost!" Cartman yelled angrily as they stood in the middle of the street.

"Oh shut up, fatass!" Kyle yelled back. Stan and Kenny watched silently. Beast Boy went up to them.

"You guys wanna go get some booze and pornos?" he asked.

"YEAH!!!" the boys cheered. They went off to go have a jolly old time being adolescent boys.

"I don't like rabbits," Jinx decided. She blew up Bugs Bunny with her powers. Kid Flash laughed and hugged her for no reason whatsoever.

"So where's the treasure?" Luffy asked. Zolo groaned and shook her head.

"DOWN THERE!!!!!" Robin laughed maniacally, pushing Luffy and his crew down a manhole.

"Edward, I don't like this place," Bella said, clinging onto Edward's SUPERSEXY jacket.

"Do not worry my love, I shall protect you!" Edward declared, resisting the urge to chew on her neck. He picked her up and ran off to who knows where.

"Kids Next Door, MOVE OUT!" Numbah 1 yelled as a bunch of small children began running around carrying deadly weapons.

"Nuh uh, I don't think so!" Cyborg said. He blew them all up with his sonic cannon.

"Cowabunga dudes!" four oversized turtles yelled out as they ran around clumsily. "Like, dudes, lets get some pizza dudes! Dudes!"

"YOU STOLE THAT!!!!!" Beast Boy screamed. He turned into a bigger turtle and squashed them. Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny were kidnapped by Slade. You know, because he's a pedophile. Apparently.

"Mamma mia!" Mario exclaimed. "Where's da princess at?"

"DOWN THERE!!!!" Robin laughed maniacally, shoving Mario down another storm drain.

Gwen and Starfire stopped fighting. Ben, Gwen, and Kevin were trying to convince her to quit the Teen Titans.

After many, many other references to popular culture, things finally calmed down. But things were never the same. The sewers of Jump City became overcrowded with various characters. Cyborg never got the crud off his foot. Beast Boy killed anyone who said 'dude' besides him. Raven put on SO much eyeliner, it never came off. Starfire ran off to join the Alien Force. And Robin developed a strange obsession of shoving people down manholes and storm drains.

Yes, it was a strange day indeed in the (magical) land of Jump City.

AN: Kahahaha that was fun. This is definitely the longest chapter yet. However, I do not have an explanation as to how those characters got into the TT universe in the first place. Oh, and did I overdo the whole manhole joke thing with Robin? I lost count of how many people he trapped in the sewers.  
REVIEWWWW!!!!!


	15. In the Mind of a Fangirl

AN: For this one, pretend that I am just another rabid fangirl. I was looking through older stories in the archives, and I saw some fanmade origins of the Teen Titans that annoyed me for some reason. The ones that really bit at me were the ones about Starfire that spelled her planet's name wrong completely, like Termiran. I doubt I'd be able to find those stories again, though. They're nothing but dust in the older parts of the archives, never to be read again.  
Also, the end of this chapter hits at self-insertion again. With a twist ending. HOHSNAP!

In the Mind of a Fangirl

One day I, the writer, was bored. I was so bored, I decided to make up origins about my IDOLS, the Teen Titans, even though they already have explanations of how they came to be. But being the horrible person I am, I blatantly ignored all meanings of proper fanfiction writing and decided to make up my own origins. About my idols. Whom I cherish with all my heart. FANNNGIRRRL ATTACK!!!!!!111!!!

Okay, so first, I'm gonna write about Robin. Because I love how he uses excessive hair gel to make his hair extra stiff, so stiff he can stab people with its pointyness. His hair is very pointy. Anyways, even though everyone knows he was originally a clown in a circus, or something like that, I'm going to make up my own backstory for him. Because his hair is very pointy.

Robin was a boy, I think. He lived with his parents in a house. One day Robin went outside for a walk.

"La la la I am walking along a path," he sang. Then he heard some explosions. He ran back to his house. His parents were dead.

"Noooo my parents are dead for an unexplained reason!" Robin cried. "There is only one thing left to do."

He ran away, leaving his parents to rot, and joined Batman. Batman, being the pedophile that he is, made Robin wear colorful tights that made him look like a traffic light. Did you know that he was originally called Traffic Boy? But that name was stupid so he called himself Robin. Anyways, Robin eventually left Batman because he was sick of wearing pixie shorts and saying "Golly, Batman!!!" all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. Then Robin formed the Teen Titans, consisting of himself. So technically, he was called the Teen Titan. I think.

Next, I'm going to write about Raven, because I wish I could be as cool as her which I AM NOT, sadly.

Raven was born somewhere special.

She was emo and goth. She was especially depressed because her hair was purple, and she ABSOLUTELY hated the color purple.

"I must get some hair dye," she said to herself. But she never did, because she was too lazy to go to the store.

Then, one magical day, she discovered that she had super emo gothic powers that allowed her to do everything EXCEPT dye her hair, which made her mad. But then people shunned her for her purpleness so she ran away and joined the Teen Titan, which officially became the Teen Titans-consisting-of-two-people-named-after-midget-birds.

Cyborg was born in America. He lived in a house in a boring boring boring town. Then, when he was a bucking young lad, he got in some sort of freakish accident involving vehicles. Most of his limbs and body parts fell off of him so he replaced them with robotics, making him a cyborg. I think.

"Booyah!" he yelled out right after the operation, giving birth to his catchphrase. But his machinery parts interfered with phone signals so an angry mob kicked him out of his boring boring boring town.

Cyborg traveled far and wide, interfering with cell phone services across the country, which made people mad. He became a hobo and traveled a lot, stealing batteries from convenient stores and drinking nothing but Mountain Dew, the official beverage of hobos (AN: apologies to anyone who is offended). Then he came upon Jump City, and discovered that the phone services there weren't affected by his bootylicious machine parts. Then he met Robin and Raven and joined them.

Next up is Beast Boy, that green kid. Since I, the writer, also known as the awful mutilator of good Teen Titans stories (DO NOT BELIEVE THIS) don't like Beast Boy, I'm not going to write a backstory for him. Or maybe I will, for consistency.

Beast Boy was born, he turned green, and joined the Teen Titans. End of story.

Now that that is out of the way, I think I shall write an origin for the member of the Teen Titans with the most annoying and squeaky voice, Starfire. Also known as the alien that gets high off of mustard and glue.

Starfire was born on Temerian. I am too lazy to figure out her planet's real name, so KAKAKAKAKAH. She was a Temerianeanean.

"I am a Temerianeanean," she said to no one in particular, stating the obvious.

Her sister Blackfire was evil, and chased her away with her powers of doom and evilness. So Starfire, the Temerianeanean, went to Earth and discovered mustard, which made her very happy.

"Mmmmm this yellow stuff is guuuud," she said, getting high off of it and being the ditsy alien that she is. Then Starfire met the other four Teen Titans and joined them for no apparent reason.

And that is how the Teen Titans was formed. In my warped imagination, anyways.

AND THEN I, the fabulous writer, was magically transported into Jump City where I met my cherished idols.

"Oh, fabulous writer, you must join our team," Robin said, already falling in love with my awesomeness. I had superawesomesamazingdeadlypowerful powers and had just killed Slade, Brother Blood, the Brain, Trigon, Madame Rouge, Blackfire, all the Hive students, Monsieur Mallah, Kitten, Fang, Plasmus, Cheshire, Mother Mae-Eye, the Puppet King, Atlas, Adonis, Control Freak, Kataru, Punk Rocket, Cardiac, Mumbo Jumbo, Mad Mod, Killer Moth, Malchior, Ding Dong Daddy, Cinderblock, Trident, Dr. Light, Steamroller, Warp, Psimon, Johnny Rancid, the Gordonians, Red X, Overload, Jason Todd, the Joker, Jigsaw, Catwoman, the Volturi, Hotstreak, Optimus Prime, Orochimaru, XANA, Team Rocket, Vilgax, the Highbreed, and a bunch of other out of place villains in less than two minutes. PWNAGE.

"Well," I said, "Since you are clearly in need of some help and I have nothing better to do, I will join you. But Starfire has to die. Her voice is too squeaky for my liking."

So we all ganged up on the Temerianeanean and she died. We celebrated with cake and donuts. Robin and I started going out. Pairings ensued.

And I lived happily ever after in an insane asylum after trying to use my imaginary powers on the cops in real life.

AN: ...and that's what happens when you try to bring fandom into reality-dom. I think I actually named all the villains in the episodes. Wow, I am such a geek.


	16. Relationships and Psychology

AN: Hm, well I felt like writing a really spontaneous chapter. This is like a mush up of crossovers, self-inserts, pairings, futures, etc etc etc. Next will be crack. Crack and pairings.

Relationships and Psychology

It was official. The Teen Titans went insane. Well, that's what everyone else thought, because they publicly announced that they were going to a therapist. But that means that they went insane, right?

WRONG.

They were having issues with their relationships. They tried to talk to Dr. Phil, but he wasn't much help. He just yelled at them a lot for no reason, which made Cyborg cry uncontrollably for a few hours.

Then they went to Oprah, but she didn't like them much so she sent her many bodyguards to beat them up. They couldn't sue her, either, because Oprah is much too powerful both politically and physically for our pitiful human minds to comprehend.

After being beaten up by Oprah's homeys, they tried talking to Hannah Montana, because she is the idol of a zasquillion small children. Hannah ended up forcing them to join her in a sing-a-long about friendship and love, which eventually drove Raven to smash her over the head with her own guitar.

Deciding that they pestered enough celebrities, they settled on a teenage girl who apparently had a Master's degree in psychology.

They sat on a pink fuzzy couch, watching Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff adjust her college diploma on the wall, which had a cereal brand name in the corner of it.

"Since you are clearly a certified professor of psychology, we will spill out our deepest, darkest secrets to your rather fat ears," Robin said.

"Booyah!" Cyborg yelled out, punching a hole in the wall.

"Okay then. Tell me the problem," Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff said, taking out a notebook with a picture of Hello Kitty eating a taco on it.

"HEES THE PROBLEM!!!" Raven screamed, pointing at Beast Boy. "HE WONT LEAVE ME ALOOOONEE!!!!! I NEEED MY EMO TIME!!!!!!"

"BUT I LURVE YUUUU!!!!onehundred!!" Beast Boy sobbed.

"This is obviously a case of angsty romance," Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff said, tapping her sparkly pen against her leg. "I suggest that Raven go cut herself several times, crying about the most trivial reasons. Beast Boy, go comfort her then have hot shmex together after you make out."

"KKKK!!!!!" Raven and Beast boy said happily. Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff turned to the other distraught Titans.

"I am a high bred Tamaranean princess," Starfire said haughtily. "I am clearly the most beautiful being around, with my radiant crimson locks that shine with the glow of a thousand fires, and my deep, emerald pools which are my eyes that reflect the crystal glow of a full moon, and my irritating, whiny voice which can annoy a herd of killer Glorbulas. Robin is not good enough for me."

"I ran out of hair gel," Robin said sadly, playing with an empty tube of Extra Pointy Stiffness Coagulator. His spiky hair was already beginning to droop. With his sadness.

"Starfire, you need to shut up because no one likes your voice," Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff said. She threw a box of hair gel (with extra stiffeners!) at Robin, hitting his sad, sad, sad, sad face which quickly became happy, happy, happy, happy. He slathered a fistful of the stuff in his hair, making everyone in the room gag from the stench.

"And you, Cyborg?" Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff asked. Cyborg sniffled.

"No one wants to pair up with me," Cyborg cried. Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff tossed him her microwave, which he began making out with joyfully. Cyborg jumped out the window, still kissing it. He ran off into the sunset to live happily ever after with his one true love. A Toshiba brand microwave.

"Alsooooo," Raven said, breaking away from Beast Boy. "I love Robin too, but we are too emo for each other. I'm emo, he's emo, it's just too much!"

"Too bad," Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff said. "I don't like RobxRae, so stick with the green one."

In the end, Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff fixed all their problems. Beast Boy and Raven ran off to have a gajillion babies with each other. Cyborg and the microwave were never seen again. Only Starfire and Robin were left.

"ASK HER OUTTT!!!!!" a bunch of StarxRob fanatics screamed, pounding on the windows. "KISS HERRR!!!!!!"

"NEVAHHH!!!!onehundred!!!" Robin screamed. He stuck his head out a window, scaring all the rabid fangirls away with the stench of his hair gel. Starfire 'accidently' pushed him out, making him fall to his doom to the ocean below. Even though he was on the ground floor of the tower. But he still died. ANYWAYS.

"Ohhhh noooo now I am all alone!" Starfire cried in her shrill, whiny voice. "Without friends I am noooothing!!!!!"

Because she was so depressed, Starfire went solo. She dyed her hair, wore emo clothes, and kicked everyone's arse all the way to Brit.

"Mysterious!" Starfire sang under her breath, flying around. Mysteriously. She was all emo and cool and stuff, basically all the stuff she never was before. Robin was still dead, and Beast Boy and Raven were trying to populate a whole city with their spawn. Cyborg ended up marrying his microwave, which he named Bobalina B. Boo Boo.

"Yeaaaah!!!" Starfire sang, still flying around. She threw a bunch of rocks down below, knocking out several background bystanders.

"Starrrrfireeeee!!!!" someone hissed. It was Robin, who had miraculously returned from the land of the dead. Otherwise known as Las Vegas. "I willll geeet my reveeeenge!!!!twohundred!!!"

Starfire landed on a background bystander and walked around, looking for him. Then he stepped out of the shadows, holding a can of grape soda.

"Dieeee biiiitch!!!!" Robin hissed, splashing Starfire with the grape soda.

"Nooooo!!!!!" Starfire screamed. "My only weakness!!!!!!"

Robin laughed maniacally as Starfire melted into a puddle of ick that rather resembled Kitten. Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff watched them.

"Hm, I guess I really did screw them up." Professor Opulent Optical Ponypuff said.

AN: Yes, the secret of grape soda. Marvelous. I'm not so sure how this one turned out, because of all the randomness. I wasn't smiling much while I typed this (probably because I have homework I should be doing) so I don't know if it's funny or not.


	17. A Very Crummy Christmas

This chapter has been deleted. Perhaps it will be rewritten. Perhaps it won't.

Who knows?


	18. The Songs of the Strange

AN: Well, this was almost as fun to write as the crossovers one. For this, I took a bunch of random lyrics from random songs randomly picked out, and put them in a random order. Randomly. Then I just wrote a story as accordingly as I could to the lyrics that happened to be next. The songs are, by order of appearance, are: Viva la Vida (Coldplay), Knock You Down (Keri Hilson), Hoedown Throwdown (Miley Cyrus), The Fear (Lily Allen), You're Not Sorry (Taylor Swift), Imagine (John Lennon), Gotta Be Somebody (Nickelback), So What (Pink), Gives You Hell (All American Rejects), Disturbia (Rihanna), If you seek Amy (Britney Spears), Boom Boom Pow (Black Eyed Peas), Dead and Gone (T.I.), and My Life Would Suck Without You (Kelly Clarkson).  
And thank you Paradox Polka-Dots, IcePhoenixLord, Kick Ass Kids, DeathIsOnlyTheBeginin, channel44, WeirdoWraithGirl, Mythar, Cicero Amaral, and king of shao for reviewing chapters 16/17. Y'all rock!

The Songs of the Strange

Robin was out in the street, walking around in his colorful spandex. He skipped along merrily, singing silly songs about killing Slade. But when he passed by an intersection, several drivers mistook him as the traffic light and accidently caused a bunch of deadly crashes. People ran out and started yelling at Robin. He cried and began to run away in fear.

_Revolutionaries wait for my head on a silver plate. Just a puppet on a lonely string, oh who would ever want to be king? _

Robin ran from the angry mob, screaming bloody murder. They were carrying pitchforks and stuff, and were holding large posters of pictures of a decapitated Robin, which was quite inappropriate for a children's show.

"Leave me ALONE!!!" he cried, sprinting as fast as he could.

"NO!" the crowd screamed back. "BURN THE WITCH!!!!"

They wouldn't listen to his protests of not being a witch, so Robin had no choice but to keep running along the seemingly endless street.

On a completely unrelated topic that only applies to the lyrics, the Puppet King sat on a cardboard box in a random alley.

"Now I know how Pinocchio felt," he said sadly.

_Then you came in a knocked me on my face. Feels like I'm in a race but I've already won first place _

Starfire flew down from the heavens above, an evil look on her face. She hid behind a lamppost (because she's that skinny) and stuck out her foot, waiting patiently. Robin ran by and tripped over it and fell on his face. She picked him up and started to fly back to the tower.

"Are you an angel?" Robin asked, clearly delusional.

"Yes, now please shut the hell up," Starfire said soothingly, rubbing his fuzzy head like a magic lamp.

_Shake it out, head to toe. Throw it all together, that's how we roll _

"Golly you're so pretty," Robin said stupidly once they had reached the tower. Starfire began shaking him repeatedly, angry. Obviously. Why else would she be shaking him?

"Shut up!" she yelled. "No one wants to hear that kind of stuff!"

"You're so pretty," Robin said again. Starfire screamed in frustration and threw him on the ground. She stomped off, creating several large earthquakes that destroyed half the city, sadly.

_Now I'm not a saint but I'm not a sinner. Now everything is cool as long as I'm getting thinner _

Starfire sat in her room, crying tears of ANGUISH and SADNESS. She had just hurt her only loved one, all because she was having a bad day (oops, wrong song). She felt terrible, and there was only one thing to do.

Make herself feel even more terrible.

Starfire stared at herself in a full length mirror, her tears of ANGUISH still rolling down her pasty orange face.

"I am SO fat!" she cried, falling on the ground. She wailed and held her head, screaming about her fatness and excessive glucose. Deciding that she needed to go on a diet, Starfire vowed never to eat again for the rest of her life.

Meanwhile, Raven was outside in the sunshine, meditating. But the sun only made her look even more hideous than she already was, so she decided to go inside.

By some freak weather thing, it suddenly started raining and snowing at the same time. Raven shivered, clutching her emo cloak of… blue. But the door was locked. Raven pounded on the door, yelling for someone to let her in.

_Could've loved you all my life. If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold _

"Beast Boy, let me in!" Raven screamed, pounding on the door. For some reason, she didn't realize that she could just melt through the walls like she usually does, I think.

"It's okay, Raven," Beast Boy yelled back from the other side of the door. "I know you want me to leave you alone, so I'm leaving you all alone outside in the cold!"

"I think I just got frostbite on my elbows!" Raven screamed.

"I know that you want to be left alone, so I'm going to go now!" Beast Boy yelled back, oblivious to Raven's suffering.

"Nooooo!" Raven screamed, clutching her frozen elbows. "I LOVE YOU!1!!!!111"

"I can't hear you over the blizzard!" Beast Boy yelled. He walked away, convinced that he had done a good deed. Raven knelt in the blizzard, crying tears of emoness. Her one true love had left her to freeze. Eventually she was completely buried in the snow.

_Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do. No need to kill or die for and no religions too. _

"Heh heh heh… world domination," Robin plotted evilly in his Slade-themed bedroom. "Robinworld… Robintopia… Robinland…Robinania…keh keh keh…"

"ALL SHALL BOW BENEATH MY PEACEFUL TYRANNY!" he screamed to no one in particular, dancing around. "NO ONE SHALL DIE UNDER MY RULE! ALL HAIL ROBIN, TRAFFIC BOY WONDER!!!!!!"

Then he went out and took over the world. Everyone died under his rule.

Robin woke up from his afternoon naptime, screaming in horror. He'd been having these crazy dreams for a while now, but he didn't know what they meant, being the clueless little boy that he is.

"These messages," he said dramatically to no one in particular. "Where do they come from?"

Robin ran outside to go ask someone where his crazy pot-and-heroin-induced dreams came from. He passed by Raven, who was still buried under several feet of snow. The blizzard had stopped.

"Hey Raven!" he said, running by. "Nice haircut!"

_So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end? _

Raven huddled underneath the snow in a catatonic state.

She was a turtle, waiting inside its shell.

She was a caterpillar, about to become a butterfly.

She was a watermelon, growing in someone's stomach.

She was Lindsay Lohan, inside a Playboy magazine.

"Whoa, where did that come from?" she asked herself, disturbed by her own demonic thoughts. Since she was bored and still didn't realize she could bust out of her snowy prison with her powers, she decided to see how long she could hold her breath.

But, being the emo person she was, she purposely held her breath longer than she should have and slowly began to lose consciousness. Luckily for her, though, Beast Boy happened to find her after the snow melted off of her.

"Raveeeen!" he yelled. "I looooove you!"

"I loooooove you too, with extra o's!" Raven said, taking a deep breath, releasing herself from her inner emotional prison of emoness. They began making out passionately, to many BBxRae fans' delight. Meanwhile, in the tower…

_Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. _

"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na," Starfire sang, lurching around dizzily from her lack of food. Meanwhile, somewhere else in the tower…

_And where's that shiny car? And did it ever get you far?_

"My BABY!" Cyborg squealed, hugging his car. He began kissing it, but soon began crying.

"Noooo!" he cried. "I just waxed it, and now I got my lipstick all over it!"

Cyborg began to vigorously wipe off his car, crying because he had just tainted his one true love with his personalized Cherry Maroon lipstick.

"It's gonna be alright, baby… it's gonna be alright," he sniffled, hugging his car.

_Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight? _

After cleaning up his precious child, Cyborg went up to the living room (or common room, or operations center, or whatever you wanna call it) to get some MANLY MEAT. But he found Starfire, spinning around like… um… something that spins.

"Starfire, you're scaring me," Cyborg said nervously, backing away from her.

"YOU CALLED ME FAT!" she screeched. "I AM NOOOOT FAT!!!" Starfire charged at Cyborg, screaming like a Banshee on steroids. Cyborg screamed back and ran away.

Shrugging, Starfire flew off to bother Robin.

_Love me, hate me, la la la, la la la. _

"I HATE YOU FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON THAT I AM TOO LAZY TO FIGURE OUT!!!" Starfire cried.

"BUT I LOVE YOU!!!" Robin cried.

"Ok, then I LOVE YOU TOO!!!" Starfire squealed.

"Never mind, I lost interest," Robin said, turning away.

Starfire screamed in anger and flew off to go blow something up.

_Boom boom pow. Boom boom pow. _

BOOM BOOM BOOM went Kitten's house.

"Noooo Daddy our house blew up!" Kitten cried. But Killer Moth, being the moth that he is, walked straight into the fire, attracted by the pretty lights. Kitten curled up on the ground and cried, orphaned and left without a home.

"And that is what you get for being a bimbo!" Starfire yelled, holding several empty boxes that read 'BOMBS' on them. She dropped them on Kitten and flew away.

_Now you gushin', ambulance rushin' you to the hospital with a bad concussion. _

Kitten lay in the back of an ambulance with a bad concussion and several large wounds that could possibly kill her.

But no one really cares if she lives or dies, so let's go look back at our ever so popular pairings.

_Being with you is so dysfunctional. I really shouldn't miss you but I can't let you go. _

"Now my interest has returned!" Robin declared. He grabbed Starfire, who had just flown in, and began making out with her. Raven and Beast Boy were still kissing. Cyborg was kissing his car. Starfire pulled herself off of Robin.

"You can let me go now," she said, his hands linked together around her back.

"Eh heh heh… as much as I'd like to… I can't," Robin said. "I, um, accidently super-glued my hands together behind your back, so I can't let you go. NEVER. YOU ARE MINE."

Starfire screamed ANGRILY, because she thought that Robin had called her fat.

AN: Yes, it was a rather random plot. This was actually really fun for me to write. If you liked it, send me some lyrics and I can make another songfic to put up later. Or, if you hated it, I'll move along.  
Next one will be about Flinx, the cutest of cutenessnessess.  
PS, this is completely irrelevant, but a bunch of people were arguing about it at school today. If you put Michael Jackson in a microwave, would his nose melt completely into a blob, or would it just fall off of his face? I thought it would melt, then fall off after a while. What do you think?


	19. Fluff Fest

This chapter has been deleted. Perhaps it will be rewritten. Perhaps it won't.

Who knows?


	20. Cinderavenella

AN: Blah, I really should be working on my project. But this one was TOO FUN to stop writing! In case you didn't notice, this is a spoof of Cinderella, starring Raven as Cinderella. I decided that I put enough StarRob in all the chapters, so I made this one RobRae for a change.

Cinderavenella

Once upon a time, in an alternate universe, there was a little emo girl named Raven. But everyone called her Cinderavenella, an obvious reference to everyone's favorite Disney princess with feet the size of midget hamsters.

Cinderavenella lived with her two evil betchy stepsisters and her evil betchy stepmom. Her dad died a long time ago, but she didn't really care. She was emo, you know?

Her two stepsisters were named Starfire and Terra, everyone's least favorite characters. Starfire was really annoying and stuff, and Terra was just dumb. Seriously. Her stepmom was Darth Sladah. She was a transvestite, and wore a blonde wig that made her look like Hannah Montana.

Darth Sladah (who Cinderavenella called Slade for short) was reaaaaaly mean. And by reaaaaly mean, I mean SERIOUSLY WHACKED OUT.

Slade forced Cinderavenella to do all the chores, including cleaning up the owl vomit (don't ask). She never let her eat cake, and she wouldn't even let her watch cable. Half of Darth Sladah's face was burned off, so half of her face was all black and ugly. Because of this, Slade was jealous of Cinderavenella's beauty and acted all byotchy towards her stepdaughter. She also hated the fact that she was bald all the time, so she wore the Hannah Montana wig and made Cinderavenella dye her hair purple. It was supposed to make Slade feel better, but it only made Cinderavenella look even more BOOTYFUL. Which made Slade even crueler.

Starfire was almost as evil. Her shiny red hair made her look like her head was on fire, and her eyes were green… and evil. Starfire always made fun of Cinderavenella's pale complexion, and in turn, Cinderavenella would make fun of her stubby eyebrows and carrot-orange skin. Then Starfire would use her freakish strength to whack her over the head with the couch. Starfire also forced Cinderavenella to clean up after her mutant pet, Silkie, which was almost as freakish as its owner.

Terra was just dumb. She didn't really get anything, and she spent most of her time eating rocks. With milk. ROCK CEREAL HOHSNAP!!!!

"Ha ha your face is WHITE!" Starfire laughed one day.

"Oh yeah?" Cinderavenella yelled while cleaning up some spilled anthrax. "Your eyebrows are just little DOTS in the middle of a bowl of orange pudding!"

Apparently, this was a really mean insult back then in the time of fairies and talking animals and horny frogs that tricked ditsy princesses into kissing them.

Starfire screamed angrily, picked up the couch, and began whacking Cinderavenella with it.

"OMYGAH STOP IT!" Cinderavenella screamed. Starfire laughed evilly and jumped out the window. And no, she didn't die because they were on the first floor of their medieval tower-house-thing.

"Cinderavenella," Darth Sladah said angrily, adjusting her Hannah Montana wig. "Back to cleaning up the anthrax! NOW!"

Terra laughed and ran into the wall.

Cinderavenella sighed and continued picking up the bits of anthrax.

The next day, Slade had a giant pancake and shared it with her daughters. But they wouldn't let Cinderavenella have any. That was how mean they were.

Cinderavenella went to the market to get some mutton. MUTTON.

Then she noticed a flyer up on a pole. It read "BALL."

At first, she didn't get it. Then she saw the picture on the flyer. It was a boy, around her age, and he was just plain ahmayzeng. He had really pointy hair that made him look like a porcupine (that was the fad back then, apparently) and wore a silly mask that made him look like a woman. The flyer said that he was the Porcupine Prince and he was looking for a bride at the BALL. Cinderavenella sighed dreamily. It would be nice to go to the BALL and meet this porcupine woman cosplayer.

She tore down the flyer and ran back home, forgetting about the MUTTON she was supposed to buy.

"Stepmother!" she yelled, running into their medieval tower-house-thing. "There is a BALL! I must go and meet the Porcupine Prince!"

"Oooh lah lah!" Slade said, grabbing the flyer from her. "No, I think that I will take Starfire and Terra to the BALL to meet the Porcupine Prince. Then I shall marry him!"

Cinderavenella stared at her in horror. She had no idea that she was a pedophile.

Before she could protest, Slade had commanded Starfire to push her into the dungeons that was conveniently located in their basement. Cinderavenella cried and threw a tantrum, but they wouldn't let her out. She had no choice but to watch them pretty themselves (pfftttthahahaha) up and leave for the BALL.

Cinderavenella lay in the dungeons, crying tears of EMONESS and SADNESS. She had hoped that she could meet this Porcupine Prince, marry him, and have a gajillion babies all named Stefano and Stefana.

Then, in a dramatic flash of green, a strange little troll appeared in the dungeon.

He was wearing a blue dress and had a sparkly wand. His hair was green, as was his skin. Tiny little wings poked out of his back, and he was floating a couple of inches off the ground

"AAAHHH!" Cinderavenella screamed. "FLYING CROSSDRESSER!!!!"

"No silly!" the green troll laughed. "I'm your fairy godmother, Beast Boo!"

"But you're a male…" Cinderavenella said, unsure of this strange person.

"That doesn't matter," Beast Boo said, waving his wand around haphazardly. "What matters is that you have to go to the BALL. You cannot let Darth Sladah marry the Porcupine Prince!"

"Okay!" Cinderavenella said. Beast Boo whacked her with his sparkly wand.

"Ow!" Cinderavenella yelled. "What was that for???"

Before Beast Boo could say anything, this enormous poofy white dress suddenly appeared on Cinderavenella. It was so poofy, it could have housed a family of midgets.

"And now for your transportation!" Beast Boo said. He waved his sparkly wand again, and the two appeared in front of the medieval tower-house-thing. Beast Boo pointed his sparkly wand at a radish, and it grew to the size of an elephant and sprouted four rather hairy legs.

"How the heck am I supposed to ride that?" Cinderavenella asked. "It isn't hollow."

"Um, ride on top of it, duh?" Beast Boo said. He kicked it, and a giant face popped appeared on the front of it. It had one red eye, and the other was a steely gray. The radish smiled at Cinderavenella.

"Hi!" it said. "My name is Cyradishborg! I'll take you to the BALL!"

Cinderavenella climbed on top of Cyradishborg. Beast Boo floated up to her and poked her eye with his sparkly wand.

"Ow!" Cinderavenella yelled. "Stop doing that!"

A plastic crown appeared on Cinderavenella's head.

"Now, you must leave by midnight or else the crown will disappear," Beast Boo warned.

"But nothing else will change? The dress and Cyradishborg won't disappear?" Cinderavenella asked. Beast Boo nodded.

"Pfft. Whatever," Cinderavenella pushed Beast Boo into a tree and kicked the giant radish. Cyradishborg whinnied and started running towards the castle, where the BALL was being held. Beast Boo sighed and vanished to wherever he came from.

Cinderavenella tied Cyradishborg to a horse post and walked up to the castle, dragging a lot of dirt along with her poofy dress. She swept the doors open and stomped inside dramatically.

"I am here! It is moi, CINDERAVENELLA!" she yelled, waving her arms around. Everyone looked at her. She saw Starfire and Terra being pushed down a conveniently placed manhole by the Porcupine Prince. And no, he did not look even more stunning than he was in the flyer. In fact, he looked even uglier. But that didn't really matter.

But then, Darth Sladah ran up and knocked Cinderavenella over. She struggled in the ocean of her poofy dress. While everyone was distracted by the giant flailing cotton ball, Slade grabbed the Porcupine Prince and tried to run away.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Cinderavenella yelled as she finally got up. She jumped at Slade and tore her Hannah Montana wig off, revealing her bald head.

"Ohhh no there goes my enormously large ego!!!11!!" Slade cried. She dropped the prince and ran outside, never to be seen again. The Porcupine Prince stood up and stared at Cinderavenella in wonder.

"My real name is Robin. You wanna marry me and have a gajillion babies named Stefano and Stefana with me?" he asked.

"YOU BET!" Cinderavenella yelled.

"But first, you must wear this very uncomfortable and priceless glass slipper," Robin said, holding it out to her.

"Screw the shoe!" Cinderavenella said. She smashed it with her foot. Robin shrugged.

Robin scooped her up, poofy dress and all, and carried her outside to the astonishment of all the other people at the BALL. They got on top of Cyradishborg and they rode off into the horizon, making out. And they all lived happily every after.

AN: Hooray, happy endings!!! :D I think this is now officially the longest chapter.  
Next will be about romantic suicides.  
REVIEW OR ELSE I WILL POKE YOUR EYE WITH MY SPARKLY WAND!!!!!


	21. They Doth Die Too Much

AN: Phoo, finally got this one up. It's about dying, and stuff. You'll see ;D

They Doth Die Too Much

One day the Titans were off doing what they normally do. Raven was reading her oldy-moldy books, Starfire was cooking crème-de-crap, and Cyborg and Beast Boy were playing some video game.

"Ha ha you suck, dude!" Beast Boy laughed, pwning Cyborg at the game. Cyborg growled and sat on him.

"Ow!" Beast Boy yelled. "Get off!"

"Who's the loser now?" Cyborg crowed, crushing Beast Boy with his metallic ass. Just then, Robin came skipping merrily into the Operations Center.

"Guess what, Titans?" he yelled.

"Uh, you found Slade and now you want to go find him and push him over a cliff?" Cyborg guessed.

"Sadly, no," Robin said. "I'm in love!"

All the Titans gasped simultaneously except for Beast Boy, who burped.

"Who?" Beast Boy belched quite rudley. Cyborg slapped him.

"It's a surprise!!!" Robin sang, skipping backwards out of the room. Cyborg and Beast Boy ran off to go play some manly sports on the manly roof of the manly tower. Or something like that.

Raven glared suspiciously at Starfire, who was now throwing her crème-de-crap all over the ceiling.

"Who do you think Robin loves?" Raven asked.

"Perhaps it is Slade," Starfire replied serenely, spreading the gunk evenly on the ceiling with a butter knife. "Robin has been obsessing over him lately. Also, his room is literally a shrine dedicated to the villain."

"Hm…"Raven muttered. She continued glaring at Starfire suspiciously with her evil eyes of purple.

A few minutes later, Starfire left the room to wait for the crème-de-crap to harden permanently on the ceiling.

Raven swooped out of her seat (dramatically, of course) a swished her cape around her until she got dizzy. Then she pulled a shiny knife out of her shoe. By magic, of course. Raven held the knife up and began sobbing spontaneously.

"It is obvious that Robin loves Starfire!" Raven wailed as loud as a whale. On STEROIDS! "That means that I HAVE NO REASON TO LIVE!!!!111!!icecream!!!"

Dramatically, Raven plunged the knife into her leg. Blood spurted everywhere, disgusting several young readers.

"Wait, no!" Raven yelled. "That won't kill me! I don't have any vital veins in my leg! Arrggghhh!!!!"

Raven pulled the knife out of her thigh and stabbed herself in the chest.

"Ahh, that's better," Raven sighed, OOC. "Farewell, my wonderful sweet darling marvelous beautiful charming splendid amazing Robin!"

And she fell. Dead, of course.

A few minutes later, Starfire came back in to check on her crème-de-crap. She gasped loudly when she saw Raven's dead body on the floor.

"Raven!" Starfire shrieked. "You're dead!"

After stating the obvious, she approached Raven's lifeless form. Starfire kicked her a few times to make sure she was dead. Surprisingly, Starfire started crying too.

"I think I'm going to kill myself just to make this story constant which is a very bad reason to commit suicide but I must because the story won't work out if I stay alive!" Starfire cried in one breathe. She pulled Raven's knife out of her chest and stuck the knife in her neck. More blood spurted all over the place (ewwwww).

And she fell. Dead.

Later, Robin came in the room.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!potato!!!" he screamed. "BOTH of my true loves DEAD!!!!!!elbow!!! And I was planning to have a thre- never mind."

Robin stuck a finger inside Raven's stab wound curiously. Then he drew all over Starfire's face with a Magic Marker.

"Heh heh… always wanted to do that." Robin snickered. Then he took the veeerrrryyy bloody knife from Starfire's (dead) hand and held it up.

"Let this be the day that I will be found dead along my two bitches! Pimpsta Robin OUT!"

Robin stabbed himself. He died, too.

And so the three lovers lay on the bloody floor, covered in, um, blood. They were dead, you know? Okay, I think you got that.

An hour later, Cyborg and Beast Boy came in the Operations Center. They didn't notice the blood-splattered walls or the fact that their three friends were dead.

"Dude, what smells like dead bodies?" Beast Boy yelled, pinching his nose.

"Oh, I think it's Starfire's crème-de-crap. It's stuck on the ceiling there, see?" Cyborg pointed it out. The purple gunk had hardened into what looked like mold on the ceiling.

"Meh, wanna go play video games?"

"Sure."

Cyborg and Beast Boy stepped over Raven, Starfire, and Robins' bloody forms.

"'Scuze us, ladies!" Cyborg said as he stepped on Robin's face.

"Dude, do you smell blood?"

"Oh yeah, now that you mention it…."

Dramatically, they turned around. They shrieked like Michael Jackson when they finally noticed that Raven, Starfire, and Robin were dead.

"Oh my gosh!" Cyborg squealed. "They're dead!"

"RAVEN!!!!!!banana!!!!!" Beast Boy sobbed. He yanked the knife out of Robin's chest and stabbed himself.

But no. He didn't die, because he was too weak to get the knife all the way to his heart.

"Cyborg!" Beast Boy whispered weakly. "Finish it!"

"FATALITY!!!" Cyborg yelled. He sat on Beast Boy, crushing him. Beast Boy died.

"…Thank… you…" Beast Boy whispered one last time before dying for good.

"Hm, looks like I'm the only survivor," Cyborg said, looking down upon Beast Boy's crushed body. "Looks like there's only one thing to do!"

Cyborg pushed the bodies out the window and watched them fall into the ocean. A bunch of sharks came up and ate them.

"Save some room for dessert, sharks!" Cyborg yelled as he jumped down after them. The sharks ate him too.

And so the Teen Titans all died. And no one lived happily ever after, sadly.

AN: Yes, the ending was quite random, wasn't it.  
There will be no updates for this week, due to testing and projects. Sorry!  
But REVIEW!!!!!


	22. Gary Stu, the Story of Angst Pt 1

AN: I decided to split this into two (or possibly 3) parts. Just because I'm evil that way.  
This is making fun of all those Gary Stus out there. CURSE YOU GARY STU!!!!

Gary Stu, the Story of Angst (pt.1)

Aaaand in the DRAMATIC light of the moon (no, not that moon you perverts) a boy jumped around. I mean, he was jumping. Around. In circles.

"………" he said nothing, because he was obviously too cool to give away any hints of who he was.

"Ohhhh noooo help me I'm being raped!" someone screamed. It was a preppy girl who was wearing pink. Some muscular thuggish guy wearing a sombrero was trying to steal her purse.

"Jeez, I'm not raping you!" the sombrero thug yelled. "I'm just trying to steal your purse, stupid!"

The guy yanked her purse away and ran off, leaving the preppy prep prep sobbing in the dirt. The other jumping guy from earlier jumped up to her.

"Help me, mysterious stranger who I don't know but I trust nonetheless!" the preppy prep prep cried. The mysterious stranger nodded and fired a PRETTY beam of energy at the sombrero thug. He fell on his face.

"Thank you, mysterious stranger who I don't know but-"

"GODDAMIT!" the guy screamed. "CANT I BE NORMAL FOR ONCE?????"

He jumped away, leaving the preppy prep prep alone in the alley. She kicked the sombrero thug in the, um, face and grabbed her purse and ran off.

-Enter theme song here though you can't really hear it, so never mind. Ugh. -

The Titans were doing their typical stuff in the Tower. You'd think that the readers would be sick of seeing Raven read, Starfire cook, and Beast Boy and Cyborg playing video games ALL the time now, would you?

But no. Apparently this is a mandatory element of the PERFECT Gary Stu story.

"Hey guys!" Robin yelled, falling from the ceiling. "Let's go get some pizza!"

"YEAH!!!" the Titans all cheered. They magically teleported to the pizza shop. Starfire took a large bite out of one of the pillars. You know, because she's an alien, and aliens do weird things like that.

"Bad Starfire!" Robin scolded. "Bad!" He sprayed her with a bottle of water. Starfire barked and spat the cement out. "Good girl!" Robin patted her on the head as she wagged her tail. They started making out.

"Uh…" Raven let her mouth hang open wide. A few bugs and a midget came out.

"FREEDOM!" the midget screamed as he climbed out of her mouth. He ran off.

"Cinderblock is attacking that haberdashery from chapter thirteen," Raven said. She pointed a (pale) finger at the big thing, smashing the little shop with a foot the size of my mum's ass.

"Aw, they just got it repaired!" Beast Boy complained. He turned into a T-Rex and tried to step on Cinderblock. But Cinderblock dodged it and blah blah blah fight scene blah blah blah pwnage blah blah blah.

"Nooooooo!" Robin yelled. "We're LOSING!!!"

"Booyah!" Cyborg yelled. "Uh, I mean, NOT booyah!."

Just as it seemed that they were going to lose, a PRETTY beam of energy shot out and blew Cinderblock to smithereens.

"I hope he has LIFE INSURANCE!" a mysterious, smooth, totally hot and shmexy voice said. Some canned audience laughter sounded in the background.

"Wow, who are you?" Raven asked in awe, obviously in love with the mysterious person. He floated down from the air. The sunlight shone on him, making him look pretty and stuff like that.

He was wearing FINGERLESS gloves. That totally proves that he's cool. He was also wearing a Sasuke cosplay outfit, which meant he was a ninja. He had a really big sword on his back and a giant machine gun strapped to his butt. He was wearing the manly version of Go-go boots and he was pale. And by pale, I mean REALLY pale.

"My name is Daring Umbra Manly Super Hero Ice Tower," the guy said. "But you can call me DUMSHIT."

He was Edward Cullen, Inuyasha, Harry Potter, Ash Ketchum, Luke Skywalker, Ben Tennyson, Jacob Black, Sasuke Uchiha, and Frodo all mixed into one super sexy body. Raven was already wading in a pool of her own demonic drool just staring at his eyebrows. Which were sexy.

"WE SHALL MAKE YOU A TEEN TITAN!" Robin declared. He chucked a communicator at Dumshit, who caught it with the grace of a dancing swan-man.

"Very well." Dumshit said suavely. "Since I'm the main focus of this story, I think I'm going to take over the team. And as the new leader, my first order of business is to have a DANCE PARTAY!"

The Titans went back to their tower. All of the Titans from all over the world gathered to have a dance partay, hosted by Dumshit.

"Tell us about your emo past, Dumshit!" Starfire, Raven, Terra (who came back to life yet again for an unexplained reason), Bumblebee, Argent, Kole, and Jinx said. They were gathered all around him. Pantha wasn't there because the author (moi) decided she was more like a man-woman and deported her to Spain, or something like that.

"Well," Dumshit said. "When I was a wee baby my parents were killed. I was sad. And stuff. So I was raised by the dark ninja lords of dark dark darkness, who taught me the dark ninja arts of darkness. Then, when I turned thirteen, I was banished to this world for eating the Supreme Ninja Lord's specially imported cheese."

All the girls were crying uncontrollably from hearing his traumatizing past.

"What are your powers, Dumshit?" Starfire, Raven, Terra, Bumblebee, Argent, Kole, and Jinx asked eagerly.

"Weeeelllll…" he said.

-Insert incredibly long list of super powers here-

"…Woah…" Starfire, Raven, Terra, Bumblebee, Argent, Kole, and Jinx said in awe. All the other guys were steaming with jealousy. Cyborg was busy frying some eggs on their heads.

"Now that introductions are over, I think I'm going to sleep with each of you, one after the other. TO THE BEDROOMS!" Dumshit grabbed all the girls and dragged them away. The other guys started bawling. Cyborg was eating an omelette.

Hmmm noooo since this isn't rated M and I can't write lemons, I think I'm going to have them play a card game instead.

"Got any 3s?" Argent asked.

"Nope. Go Fish," Kole said.

"DAMMIT!" Argent screamed. She threw her cards on the ground and flew out the window.

"Got any 7s?" Jinx asked.

"Go Fish," Starfire said.

DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!!" Jinx shrieked. She jumped out after Argent. Kole shrugged and leapt after her. Bumblebee flew out, too. Raven pushed Terra out the window and watched her fall to her doom.

"Well, that was fun. You owe me about four hundred dollars, by the way," Dumshit said.

"But we did not play Poker," Starfire said, confused.

"Whatever," Dumshit threw his cards in her face and walked away. Raven followed him.

Other Titans had left the party, so it was just the six of them again. They sat at the table and twiddled their fingers.

"TITANS, TROUBLE!" Robin yelled spontaneously. Dumshit slapped him.

"No no no!" he yelled. "IM the leader, so I call the shots! Titans, go!"

They all ran out the tower to go find some trouble to stop.

AN: Well, there's part one. Part two should be up in a couple days or so.


	23. Gary Stu, the Story of Angst Pt 2

AN: OMG I updated. Sorry, i was having a writers block, and i was pretty busy. But I managed to update. Phoo.

Gary Stu, the Story of Angst (pt. 2)

And so the Titans left the tower in search of something to beat up. Dumshit did push someone in front of a speeding bus, but no one really cared.

A big sparkly thing emerged from the ground, or something like that.

"I KILL YOU!" the sparkly thing roared.

"What is that thing?" Starfire shrieked.

Everyone ignored her.

"Attack, my pretties!" Dumshit commanded. All the Titans flew at the sparkly monster and rammed into it. They all fell unconscious.

"Dumshit, I am your father!" the monster said, pretty much ruining all the suspense and action.

"Oh, I already knew that," Dumshit said. He fired a PRETTY beam of energy at it from his left ear. The monster vanished.

Dumshit started crying and bleeding randomly. Because blood makes everything more dramatic, duh!

He fell on the ground and crawled sloooowwwwly over to Raven's unconscious form. She had a large bump on her head.

"Du…" Raven whispered, clearly in a lot of pain.

"Shush, my dahling!" Dumshit whispered. He cradled her purple head in his sexy fingerless-gloved hand.

"Why are we whispering?" Raven whispered.

"For dramatic effect," Dumshit whispered back.

Then their heads slowly started to move towards each other. They kissed. Many fans vomited at this outrageous act. I, the mentally irregular author, squealed in delight with my horrendous confection which I thought was delightfully fluffy and romantic.

And so Dumshit and Raven officially became a couple. Somewhere in North Carolina, a BBxRae fan died of horror.

"Oh, Dumshit!" Raven swooned. Several weeks had passed, and they were still going strong. "I loooooooooooooove you!"

"I second that!" Dumshit said. They started making out and other inappropriate stuff like that on the couch.

"Damn," Cyborg muttered. "Looks like we're going to have to buy a new couch. I don't want any icky love juice all over the cushions."

"Well I think they make a dandy couple! Hyuck hyuck hyuck!" Beast Boy hyucked, warped by his own cheerful attitude.

"Why didn't I get to have any dialogue in this until now?" Robin wailed, breaking the fourth wall. Starfire picked him up and threw him out the window.

"That's why, you sissy!" she screamed in her warlike alien way.

Now that that fluffy little family moment is over, let's go aaaaaalll the way to the climax, where everything goes wrong.

The Titans (and Dumshit) were at the pizza place. Again. As usual. Jeez, repetitive much?

Then the giant sparkly monster thing from the beginning popped out of nowhere. I bet you forgot all about him, didn't you? Well, too bad. He's back.

"I KILL YOU. AGAIN!" the sparkly blob screamed. It stepped on Dumshit. Dumshit died. (Are you crying yet?)

"Noooooooooo!" Raven shrieked. She destroyed the monster (which had no clear meaning in the plotline) for good. She ran over to Dumshit's flattened body.

"Raven… I… love… you," Dumshit croaked one last time before crumbling into dust. His remains blew away into the sunset.

Tears started running down Raven's (pale) face. She wept and wept and wept. (Are you crying yet?) Because her one true love died. And something died in me as well. (Are you crying yet?) I think everyone can learn a TRUE moral from this story. Don't feed chocolate to the dog. Yes, that is the moral.

Meanwhile, Raven was still crying in anguish and pain. (Are you crying yet?) Dumshit had died, but I think you already know that. The Titans had lost a part of the team. They had lost a friend, a brother, a teammate, a coworker, an associate, an acquaintance, a fighter, a sandwich. (Are you crying yet?) And Dumshit would never come back, because I'm too lazy to write a sequel.

Don't feed chocolate to the dog.

Fin.

(Are you crying yet?)

AN: Omi gosh, that was so crappy. I apologize. As I said, my creative juices aren't flowing.  
As for the 'are you crying yet?' thing, I saw this one fic where the author actually expected people to cry at his angsty scene. I forgot what it was, though. it was in a different category. kinda dumb.  
Suggestions for future chapters will be appreciated ;D  
Oh, and REVIEW!


	24. OOC Day

AN: Okay, another thing that bugs me is that the Titans are always doing the SAME THINGS every time they're off duty. Don't they get bored?

OOC Day

"It's official," Robin announced. He paused for an ominous effect, but no one was really paying attention to him.

The Titans were all in their prison-er, I mean HOME, doing everything that they normally did.

Cyborg and Beast Boy were playing video games and calling each other rather rude and inappropriate names, such as 'Loser' and 'Ugly' and 'Emily.'

Raven was reading a veerrry old and moldy book, huddling in the corner, muttering strange incantations to herself and occasionally snorting cinnamon out of her nose.

Starfire was bathing Silkie in a vat of bubbling snotpoocrapshitgunk, screeching out a horrifying remix of The Casper Slide (an: if you don't know what it is, listen to this song then imagine Starfire singing her own version of it) while dunking the squirming grub in the snotpoocrapshitgunk.

A little tic pulsed in Robin's grotesquely distorted head (used for Japanese-wannabe humor), as he was clearly pissed of that everyone was ignoring him. To grab everyone's attention, he began wailing and screaming like some child that saw Michael Jackson crawling through their window in the middle of the night.

"Please stop singing," Raven said, nose pressed against an old moldy book.

"Fine, then listen to me!" Robin screamed. Everyone froze and looked at him. "Thanksyou. Alright, Titans, it has come to my attention that we've been doing the same thing over and over again for the past twenty years."

"Uh, I'm only sixteen," Beast Boy said.

"SHUT UP IM TALKING!" Robin yelled. He threw a sack of flour at Beast Boy. "AS I WAS SAYING, I think our daily routines are getting boring. Which is why I've decided to make tomorrow OOC day. Everyone will participate or else I'll continue singing."

All the Titans agreed. And so they put on their jammies and went to bed. Starfire tossed Silkie out the window.

"Pleasant pqoeritupgfvbdvssfoidghvjs, friends!" she said.

Everyone ignored her.

The next morning, they woke up. It was OOC day! All the Titans got ready for it.

Beast Boy sat at the table, eating eggs. Wait, eggs? As in unborn chicken fetus?

Then Raven came skipping into the room, wearing a pink tutu and hair up in about a dozen tiny braids sticking up all over her head. She smiled reaaaallly big and began rolling around on the floor.

Then Cyborg crashed through the ceiling. He was smiling just like Raven.

DING!

Some toast popped out of his head.

"Da toast ish DUN!" Cyborg yelled. He yanked the bread out of his head and stuffed it into Beast Boy's mouth.

"WILL you STOP that?" Beast Boy smacked his hand away and spat the toast out. "I'm TRYING to READ this BOOK!"

Beast Boy slithered away into the shadows, clutching a book that read 'Twilight' on the cover.

Starfire flew in. She was wearing full armor, and her eyes were glowing.

"I WILL KILL YOU ALL!" she screamed. She began firing starbolts all over the place. Raven was dancing, while dodging all of them. Starfire flew over to the fridge and began stamping on it with her left foot, until it resembled Cyborg's ass.

Then Robin came in.

Oh, that silly boy.

He was wearing a pair of baggy baggy baggy jeans that sagged down to his ankles, a black shirt with sparkles all over it, heavy plastic chains, and a sideways baseball cap.

"Yo yo yo washup mah homedawgs?" Robin said, while waving his arms around in a strange fashion. "GANGSTA Robin ish in dah house!"

"I WILL KILL YOU ALL!" Starfire screamed yet again.

Everyone ignored her.

And so the Titans continued with OOC day.

Cyborg accidently fell in the ocean, and electrocuted himself.

"Oh shnap!" Cyborg yelled as he tripped over an orange peel.

Beast Boy decided to write a book about zucchini.

"The zucchini was invented by Kate Gosselin, who is one of the ancients," he wrote.

Raven joined the circus.

"A HEE HEE!" she giggled, dancing atop a large elephant while wearing a colorful thing.

Starfire was arrested for multiple murder attempts.

"I WILL KILL YOU ALL!" Starfire screamed as the Centaurian police dragged her away.

Robin joined a wannabe gang.

"Yo yo yo man washup fo shizzle no nizzle!" Robin and some other wannabes said.

And they had lots of fun, I think. Well, it beat sitting around doing nothing. At least they got some exercise, right?

As the day came to an end, so did OOC day, sadly. Cyborg crawled out of the ocean and shook the water out of his ears. Beast Boy burned up his half-finished book and ate it. Raven set the circus on fire. Starfire broke out of prison and pushed Blackfire in to take her place. Robin quit the wannabe-gang.

"Now, wasn't that fun Titans?" Robin asked as they gathered in the operations center.

"Actually, it was," Raven said.

"Ditto," Beast Boy said.

"Booyah!" Cyborg booyahed.

"Yes," Starfire said.

"Well, too bad," Robin sneered. "There will no longer be any OOC days for the rest of our lives because I said so."

Everyone cried.

AN: Yush. Review.


	25. Robin Throws a Tantrum or two

AN: Yays! I'm back from vacation, which explains my couple week absence!  
You know, I'm kinda sick of all those fanfics decipting Robin as this whiny ass who obsesses over villains and treats his friends like crap. Sure, he can be a little too hard at times, but I still don't like it when they make him look... bitchy.

Robin Throws a Tantrum (or two) 

Starfire was floating down the hall, occasionally bumping her head against the ceiling. You know, because she's really tall? No, she's not? Oh, okay then.

Anyways, she was floating down to Robin's little Robin-cave.

Because it was Valentine's Day.

And on that day, bored thirteen year old girls enjoy forcing one or the other onto each other with melted gooey chocolate and flowers that make their noses itch and swell up to the size of melons.

Starfire began singing a song, causing a passing Beast Boy's ears to bleed and turn inside out and turn a lovely shade of burgundy.

After several unnecessary songs, Starfire arrived in front of Robin's door. Without knocking, she blasted a large hole in it and walked in. Robin was sitting on his bed, looking like that guy from Dr. Phil.

Oblivious to his glumness, Starfire threw the flowers and chocolate on him.

"Friend, Day of the Valentines Happy, friend!" Starfire said, talking like she NORMALLY DOES.

Robin muttered something incomprehensible while the chocolate and flowers magically disappeared, presumably stolen by the tooth fairy.

"Friend, not did I understand said what you, friend," Starfire said.

Robin slowly stood up, the theme music from Pokemon playing in the background. You can imagine how ominous and horrifying the scene must have looked like then.

"Grrrrrrrr…" Robin grrrrrrred. "Grrrrrrrrrr…"

"Friend, that of the what was, friend?" Starfire said, leaning in closer, still unaware of the scary music and Robin growling.

Robin took a deep breath.

"I HAAAAAAATE YOUUUUUU!!!!!!" Robin screamed. "I AM CLEARLY EMO AND A WHINY ASS BABY WHO HAS NO LIFE AND IS OBSESSED WITH FINDING SLADE AND EATING AS MUCH DIET PILLS AS POSSIBLE AND I GO TO THE GYM MUCH TOO OFTEN AND YOU ALL THINK IM A JERK AND YOU ALL HATE ME SO I HATE YOUUUUUUU!!!!!! AND YOU NEED TO TALK NORMAL!!!! JUST SAYING!!!!!

Robin was an interesting hue of purple by then.

Starfire began sniffling.

"Fine then, if you really feel that way." Starfire began crying loudly and flew away. Robin threw a few pillows at her for added effect.

"AND STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!!!" he screamed. He drank some orange juice then went to the common room. Cyborg and Beast Boy were playing Hello Kitty's Super Special Mall Adventure on their video game system.

"Dude, I just scored three pairs of Super Special Hello Kitty Brand shoes and a Super Special Hello Kitty Brand hairclip!" Beast Boy said.

"Oh yeah, well Hello Kitty just gave me some Super Special Hello Kitty Brand chewing gum!" Cyborg replied while furiously mashing the buttons on his controller.

Robin strolled up to the giant TV and threw a watermelon he procured out of nowhere at the screen. It smashed into a bajillion pieces and the TV broke. Forever.

"That's for advertising," Robin growled. He flipped the couch over, throwing the two boys off. "NOW GET BACK TO WORK, LADIES!!!!"

"Dude, what's your problem?" Beast Boy yelled.

"Yeah, what have you got against Hello Kitty?" Cyborg cried. He cried some more and ran away.

"WIMP!!!!" Robin screamed. He glared down at Beast Boy. "THIRTY MATHOUSANJILLION HOURS OF TRAINING!!!!! NOW!!!!!"

Beast Boy scowled and slumped off to the training room, also known as Robin's Room of Funtime Exercising.

Robin began howling like a werewolf and ate all the food in their fridge. Then he ran off to find Raven.

Raven was sitting in her room, reading a very interesting book. But before she could reach the part where Edward ripped off Bella's head and mailed it to Italy, Robin kicked down her door.

"Yes?" Raven raised an eyebrow and stared at Robin, who was hyperventilating and giving her his best death glare, which made him look constipated.

"I AM SO SICK OF YOU BEING ALL BLAAAAAHHH AND MEEEEEEHHH AND WHAAAATEEEEVVVSS!!!!! GOSSSHHH!!!!!!"

And without another word, Robin ran out of her room after knocking over a very large and expensive vase conveniently placed right next to her door.

Raven sighed.

Robin howled again and ran back to the common room, planning to push the couch out the window. But when he reached it, he found the other four Titans waiting for him.

"Robin, we've decided that you're being an ass today," Raven began.

"A very large ass," Starfire added.

"Bigger than the moon," Beast Boy snickered, making an obscure joke.

"Who has something against Hello Kitty," Cyborg sniffled.

"ARRRGGGHHHH NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL I NEEEEEEED TO FIND SLADE!!!!!!!!" Robin screamed. He began rolling around on the floor, clutching his head.

The other Titans looked at each other. Raven nodded, and Beast Boy grinned. Starfire violently punted Robin in his side, making him squeal, and Cyborg dropped a marshmallow on him which actually did nothing at all. Beast Boy and Raven rolled him down the hall out of the tower. Robin fell in the water.

"Eh, he'll swim back." Raven shrugged.

"And by then, he will go back to normal." Starfire said. The other three stared at her.

"Starfire, that _was _normal."

AN: A hee hee, I hope he doesn't drown ^o^  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	26. Teen Titans Slumber Party

AN: I never really liked those Truth or Dare stories. They ALWAYS have some sort of romance thing in it.  
This chapter contains self-insertions, unnecessary contact of the lips, pairing warz, references to popular culture, and the breaking of the fourth wall.

Teen Titans Slumber Party

One night all the Titans decided to hold a fluffy slumber party for no reason whatsoever, which made them seem like adolescent girls who had nothing better to do. And what was even stranger was that Titans East was invited, though they would serve as nothing more than some pretty background decorations.

"That's mildly offending!" Bumblebee said from behind the couch, where no one could see her.

"Shut up. Talk when you are told to." Cyborg shoved Bumblebee away.

Moving on.

All the Titans were wearing jammies. Beast Boy was wearing footie pajamas, but no one was really surprised. Robin was wearing rubber pajamas, just in case he had to go pee pee. Starfire was wearing some slutty lingerie. Raven was wearing a shmexy nightgown. Cyborg was in da nuuuuude.

No one really cares what Titans East were wearing.

"Friends, watch a movie we should, friends," Starfire said.

Everyone ignored her.

"Dudes! We should watch a very gorey and possibly rated R horror movie!" Beast Boy declared.

"Booyah!" Cyborg booyahed.

"Meh," Raven grunted. Secretly, she was squealing inside. She thought horror movies were positively adorable and lovely.

"Titans, go!" Robin shouted. They all scrambled onto the couch while enormous bowls of popcorn appeared like MAGIC on their laps. The movie started.

Starfire and Raven started screaming uncontrollably the minute the movie began. They dove onto Robin and Beast Boy, respectively, and wailed as the boys comforted them. Now isn't that romantic?

Cyborg was eating a hamburger.

Obviously.

After the movie ended, the lights turned back on and the girls sat back up as if nothing had happened. Which was not true. They were crying. Or something like that.

"Oh, come on!" Speedy yelled from under an armchair. "We couldn't even see the screen!"

"Si!" Mas y Menos said from inside the oven.

"I thought I told y'all to SHADDUP!!!" Cyborg stuffed Titans East in the fridge, where they will no longer make cameo appearances for the rest of this story.

"Alright dudes, time for truth and dare!" Beast Boy said.

"Yeahhh!!!!" the rest of them cheered (except for Raven, who grunted. Again.)

"Titans, go!" Robin shouted. The five of them gathered in a circle.

"Alright Robin, truth or dare?" Cyborg asked.

"Ummmmm since this will obviously turn into another cheesy romance, I think I'll choose dah." Robin decided.

"What?" Raven grunted.

"Dah. You know, DAH," Robin said. "It's the kewl new way to pronounce dare. Dah. We're trying to brainwash America's children, remember?"

"Okay then, dah." Cyborg shrugged. "I DAH you to *snicker* make out with Stahfire!"

Robin and Starfire kissed, after some awkward protesting. We, the fans, all squealed, while I conveniently broke the fourth wall. They kissed some more. We all squealed some more.

Hee hee. I am SO naughty.

Then, I, the author, magically appeared in Titans Tower to direct the rest of the game.

"LYKE hai guyes!!!" I screamed. I was wearing some super sexy pajamas, and I had magically lost about 295 pounds. My hair was also prettier. Yay!

"Hello." All the Titans said, not questioning my sudden appearance. I was accepted by the cool people, something that would never happen in real life. Yay!

"Beast Boy, truth or dare?" I said. "Cough cough dare cough."

"Dare." Beast Boy said.

"I dare you to kissssssss Raven!" I said.

They kissed. A bunch of RobRae fans went to jump over a cliff, the lemmings.

And that's basically how the rest of the slumber party went. There was lots of kissing. Speedy and Aqualad found their way out of the fridge and they became my devoted fans.

Then I magically warped out of the story, so I would no longer be an annoying nuisance to the plot. Speedy and Aqualad cried.

"Cyborg, your turn," Robin snickered. "Truth or dare?"

"Ehhhh truth." He said.

"Who do you love?" Robin asked.

"Booyah!" Cyborg booyahed.

"Friend, answer the question it does not, friend," Starfire said.

"Cyborg loves no one but himself. Though occasionally I'll have a three-night stand with Bumblebee." Cyborg said.

Then the sun came up. It was yellow.

"Awwwww." All the Titans whined. Raven grunted. The slumber party was over. Cyborg pushed the fridge containing Titans East out the window.

"Go home!" he yelled as the fridge sunk underwater.

"Friends, fun it was, yes? Friends?" Starfire asked.

Everyone ignored her.

"We should all go see Twilight now." Raven said, looking through the movie listings.

"No way, that movie sucked." Beast Boy said.

"Noooooo!!!!" Robin screamed. "Do you realize what you have done???"

"What?" Raven grunted.

"Now all the reviewers are going to yell at us for criticizing Twilight! And it sounds like we're advertising! And we broke the sacred fourth wall! Nooooo!!!!" Robin screamed and fell on the ground, twitching and foaming at the mouth.

Raven covered him with a very large napkin.

AN: Ha ha, random ending. Eh.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	27. Hospital Drama!

AN: Over-angsty stories with extra dollops of sorrow make me frown with disgust :D  
There's some language in this chapter.

Hospital Drama!

It was another ordinary day of ass-kicking pizza-eating game-playing tummy-rubbing goodness for the Teen Titans.

HOWEVER. A plot twist occurred. That's right, bitches. Amy's got da power.

Raven got sick.

Oh, the horror of it all. Though it was odd, because she could have just healed herself. But apparently, she can't, because this was some sort of very rare virus-parasite-infection-quarantine-melon that was super deadly and super infectious.

Her pale skin turned ashen, her dull voice became monotonous, and her angst transformed into chagrin and anguish. The disease was called Thesaurus-Meyer Syndrome, commonly found in bad works of literature.

She lay on the hospital bed, which was still stained with Robin's blood from his last perio- er, I mean, wounds.

The other Titans were gathered outside the door.

"Oh, woe is we!" Beast Boy sobbed. "For the one actually cool and likeable character in this series is sick!"

"Friends, cry we should, for sick is she, friends." Starfire announced.

Everyone ignored her.

"I bet a mysterious flower or talisman or whatever found only in Tibet would get rid of the disease!" Cyborg said.

"No, stupid." Robin smacked Cyborg, sending him flying through the wall. "We have to continue shedding our tears of sorrow and pain and sadness and grief and misery to show our RESPECT for the ill. Or in Raven's case, the ILL, with capital letters."

So they stood there for a few more days, crying and drinking extra Mountain Dew. Eventually, soda began trickling out of their eyes.

Raven was still sick. Big sob.

Soon, Robin decided to take a chance and visit her. LE GASP! He was risking his own health, just to see his true un-canon love! And Starfire didn't really give a crap, because she was too busy pimping Speedy and Red-X! Wow!

To add for dramatic effect, Robin took a few hours to slooooowwwwwly tip-toe into the rather drab and depressing hospital ward.

Raven summoned her last bit of ENERGY (batteries not included) to open her dazzling eyes of purpleness. Or blueness. Whatever rolls your way.

"Ro-…..-bin…" she croaked, sounding very similar to a frog giving birth to a hippo.

"Raven!" Robin heroically swooped over to her side and held her ashen, pale, pallid, wan, pasty hand. Hey, it IS Thesaurus-Meyer Syndrome.

"I have one last dying wish," Raven managed to whisper hoarsely, coughing up blood and other icky substances.

"Yes, my love bird?" Robin whispered back, a waterfall of Mountain Dew pouring down his face. (AN: SO sick of that whole 'love bird' slang between Robin and Raven. Seriously? LOVE BIRDS??? Ew.)

"Aveengge meeeeee…" Raven whispered. And she fell back onto the pillow.

But no. She isn't dead.

"Nah, I was just kidding about that part," Raven suddenly sat back up. "But seriously. Go do something heroic that will MAGICALLY heal me. Like, save a kitten or something. Anything. Now go away. I need to sleep."

"Okay, my little love dove!" Robin said. (AN: Oh gosh, love dove… I can't believe I actually thought of that. I think I barfed a little…wait… no. That was just my pancreas.)

Robin danced back out of the room, leaving a rather sticky trail of Mountain Dew.

Then all the Titans cried again, because they found out that Robin caught the Thesaurus-Meyer Syndrome from Raven.

And Raven died after a few minutes, too.

Robin rested on the sheets that Raven once slept on. He was sick, you know?

The other three Titans stood outside the ward, sobbing.

"Oh woe is we," Beast Boy sobbed. "For my yaoi partner and Starfire's lover is sick!"

"Friends, cry we should, for sick is he, friends," Starfire said.

Everyone ignored her.

"Uh, guys?" Cyborg asked. "Is it just me, or is this a recycled scene, commonly used by cheap American animation companies when all their budget money was wasted on purchasing rights to anime shows that no one even knows about?"

"SHUT UP! RESPECT DA MAN!" Beast Boy and Starfire screamed. They bitch-slapped him. Cyborg fell through the wall.

Then Starfire decided to visit Robin to show him a picture of a pickle-horse she drew.

Not bothering to consider the fact that this is supposed to be a hurt/comfort/angst/tragedy genre, she kicked down the door and flew right in.

The ambience of the ward immediately took affect.

Starfire began sobbing and dropped by Robin's side, clutching onto his gloved hand.

"Star… fire…" Robin croaked, sounding like an old lady attempting to eat a jalapeno.

"Friend, yes, friend, Robin, friend?" Starfire sniffled, talking like she ALWAYS DOES!!!

"I have a dying wish," he whispered.

"Friend, yes, friend, Robin, friend?" Starfire sniffled yet again.

He ignored her.

"Oh, wait, did you say something?" he asked, turning towards her. "Oh, right. I need you to return these books I borrowed from the library. They're a few months overdue, so there're some fees. Can you pay for them too? That'd be great, thanks."

And with that, he dropped dead.

Starfire screamed in PAIN and ANGUISH and SORROW and GRIEF, then realized, to her horror and shock and terror, that she had also caught Thesaurus-Meyer Syndrome.

So she pushed Robin's body out the window so she could lie on the bed. Beast Boy and Cyborg saw the whole thing from the door's enormous peephole the size of a dinner plate.

"Oh, woe is we," Beast Boy sobbed. "For the naïve and freakishly-strong alien girl of the team is sick!"

"Um, friends, cry we should, for sick is she, friends," Cyborg said in a high-pitched falsetto voice.

"And yeah, and… wait. This is stupid, wanna get some pizza?" Cyborg asked in his normal voice.

"Meh, whatever. I was getting tired of Starfire's silly antics, anyways." Beast Boy said.

So Cyborg and Beast Boy moved to Canada and left Starfire to rot in the hospital ward.

She died. And stuff.

And so Cyborg and Beast Boy lived happily ever in their own apartment somewhere in Ontario.

AN: I thought it was a decent chapter, anyways. Another thing that bothers me is how some RobRae shippers call the pair 'love birds.' It's just so... CHEESY. Almost as cheesy as Cheetos.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	28. Raven's Irrestistible Sexual Appeal

AN: Uh, this chapter has some references that aren't very appropriate for those who haven't taken Health yet. There's also some language...  
It also pertains to one of the greatest mysteries in Teen Titans fanficdom. I've noticed it for some time now, and decided to do something about it.

Raven's Irresistible Sexual Appeal

As if nothing had happened the other day, Starfire was sitting at their giant computer, browsing Fanfiction. You know, to cause confusion about the fourth wall among the readers.

To Starfire's utter confusion, there were barely any stories about her. Being the curious, naïve alien she is, she decided to look through the M rated section. Her _gorgeous deep beautiful soulful green emerald shining desirable amazing _eyes widened in shock by the list of stories she saw.

"Raven!" she called in her shrill, annoying voice. "Come here, please!"

Raven fell through the ceiling, landing on her shapely buttocks next to Starfire.

"Raven, why did you have sex with so many male characters?" Starfire asked, pointing at the giant screen displaying all the horrors dredged up from the perverted fanboys' minds.

"Oh… my… gosh…" Raven droned in terror, skimming all the summaries of all the M rated stories.

"I believe you are a… whore slut prostitute hooker pimp bitch, yes?" Starfire asked innocently, batting her eyelashes as if that added to her childlike demeanor. Which it did not.

"Well, I guess I am, Starfire." Raven said. "Which doesn't explain why our fans enjoy hooking me up with every male character in the series while all you have is Robin. And he doesn't count, on account of rumors of his sexuality."

"Perhaps it is because I am much too annoying and my voice is too annoying and my way of speech is too annoying and my eyebrows are too annoying for the fanboys to write stories about me." Starfire said thoughtfully. "And, my alter ego is apparently a slutty bitch who enjoys 'popping caps' in pedestrians' asses. Word up, y'all."

In order to keep up with the long-loved running gag, Raven rudely ignored Starfire's little speech.

"Oh, did you say something?" Raven asked turning around.

"No," Starfire hung her head in shame.

"Booyah, little ladies!" Cyborg said, popping up out of nowhere. "Booyah, what're y'all looking at, booyah?"

Cyborg scanned the computer screen, looking at all the summaries of the M-rated stories. Smoke began to pour out his head.

"Lemon… rape… lemon… smut… rape… smut… cannot compute… reboot system… erase… erase… ERASE GODDAMIT!!!!!!" Cyborg screamed. He screamed some more and ran through the window, falling down down down down aaaaaalll the way to La-la-land.

"That was odd," Raven said. "Now, back to our pointless discussion on how I was apparently raped by every single guy in our animated universe."

"Why do you suppose the only pairing I am involved in is with Robin?" Starfire asked.

"Sometimes you're with Speedy," Raven pointed out.

"But he is such a _wussy!_" Starfire whined in her shrill, annoying voice. "He doesn't count."

"Okay. Uh, how about… no… oh, what about…. no…. oh, wow. You're right." Raven said in (mild) astonishment.

"See?!?" Starfire threw up her _orange golden honey-toned tanned_ hands in frustration. "Why do you get everyone, while all I get is Traffic Boy?"

"Dudettes, cuz Rae has sexual appeal, dudettes!" Beast Boy said, coming up from nowhere.

"But what doesn't even make more sense is that our fans tend to draw Starfire in slutty outfits and portray her alter ego as a whore. But no, they never include her in lemons and smuts!" Raven said. "While I'm portrayed as an angsty angst angster who cuts herself and drinks goat blood!"

"I do not recall that last part ever happening," Starfire said.

They all ignored her, to hold up the tradition.

"So, let's count off all the guys you banged with," Beast Boy said. "Me, Robin, Red-X, Cyborg, Aqualad, Slade, OC#1, OC#2, OC#4 through OC#27,452,472, _possibly_ Speedy, and several other Titans that aren't as important as we are. Oh, and Starfire."

"What happened to OC#3?" Raven asked.

"He was horribly mutilated and eventually beaten to death by Ronald McDonald." Beast Boy said.

"He never saw it coming." Starfire sadly shook her head.

"Well, it _was_ an angst story." Beast Boy said.

"Back to me!" Raven interrupted. "So, I still don't understand why I have to be the Titans' bitch. Why can't Starfire be the bitch?"

"I told you. I am much too annoying and my lack of knowledge of Earthling anatomy would certainly make sex very awkward, if not strangely humorous."

"Oh, that's just sick!" Beast Boy yelled. He slapped Starfire. Starfire slapped him back and he rocketed out the window down down down aaaaaall the way to La-la-land.

You know, cuz Starfire's really strong and all that.

"That was also somewhat odd," Raven said. "Anyways, my angst and (not) emoness also makes sex much hotter."

"So Earthlings enjoy cutting themselves and crying about their childhoods as they have sex?" Starfire asked in her totally clueless way.

"Apparently so, Starfire. Apparently so." Raven said.

"Hey guuurrrrrrlz!" Robin sang as he pranced in. "Watcha doin-"

He froze as he caught sight of the computer screen. Robin saw one story at the bottom of the list. He slowly read the summary out loud.

"_Sexy Slade and Sexy Robin spend a very sexy night together on a sexy rooftop of sexyness. Sex ensues. Sexy summary sux, but sexy story is much sexier! Warning: sex... Giggity."_

"Oh gosh…"

Robin's ears began oozing a strange purple substance and he began shrieking like a certain alien princess on crack. He lit himself on fire and leapt out the window, screaming all the way.

"Now who am I going to be paired with?" Starfire groaned.

"Me." Raven said. "According to most of our middle-aged fans, anyways."

"No, I think I am going to go become a supermodel in Switzerland and open my own chain of hotels now." Starfire decided.

"You do that," Raven said. Starfire grabbed Silkie, stuffed him in her pocket, and flew away.

"Well folks, looks like we're all out of time." Raven said to no one in particular. "Look for us next time on Generic Exaggeration as we produce even more silly adventures for your health benefits!"

She waved goodbye to no one in particular, and looked around in confusion.

"I've got to stop drinking so much tea…"

AN: Whoever guesses where the 'Giggity' came from gets... uh... an imaginary muffin. With imaginary sprinkles ;D  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	29. Red X, Mysterious Supreme

AN: Yay! An early update!  
I noticed one anonymous review saying that my story is bad. Ha ha, my first negative review! Seriously though, I'm not upset about it. But, if you're going to say my story is bad, at least TELL MY WHY!!! My gosh, I am pissed at people who are all like 'oh it's awful, i think i died' without telling WHY the fricken story was awful. Really, if you're going to put down someone, at least give a reason why you're doing it. That's the only reason I was upsetted by that review.  
This is a bit off topic, but has anyone else noticed the reviewer called 'anon' who tends to lead his reviews off into complicated drabbles about other random DC Universe superheroes? A bit odd...

Red X, Mysterious Supreme

Red-X is a thief. He also enjoys the occasional lemon meringue pie, but that's irrelevant to this story.

No one knows who he is, not even *gasp* me, the author.

So, in order to fill in that empty space, I have decided to make up his own past story and how he got the fricken suit in the first place, even though no one probably gives a damn about what I have to say about Red-X.

Let's see…

His real name is Xavier, since it starts with X, and it totally fits him. Sure, his real name could be Tommy or Brad or even Samantha Tequila Rainbow Jones, but Xavier fits more, though not for a very good reason.

So Xavier it is.

Xavier was a thief. I think. He stole stuff. And he hit on the ladies. And they rejected him.

Driven by angst and loneliness, he somehow got into Titans Tower. Conveniently, no one was home. All the Titans were at a rave, getting stoned. Except for Starfire. She was just out being stupid and attempting to eat innocent bystanders.

"…" Xavier said nothing, because he was clearly too cool to say anything.

After wandering around aimlessly and accidently flushing Silkie down the toilet, he somehow got into a high security safe. I think he just walked right in or something. Whatever.

Then he saw the suit.

It looked pretty cool, and he was a fan of cosplaying, so Xavier decided to try it on. Ignoring all the laser fields and trip wires around it, he pulled it out and put it on.

Oh, the power!

He felt powerful.

Or something.

"IMA FIRIN MAH LAZORS!!!!" he screamed, firing off a bunch of lasers, obliterating his surroundings. Then he jumped away, destined to become…

RED-X. MYSTERIOUS SUPREME.

Or something like that.

Being the cool and totally awesome guy he is, he didn't need to practice using any of the weapons. Which also saves a hell lot of my time. You know what, this is boring. Let's skip to the part where he and Raven make out. They met on the roof, the most romantic place in the world. Apparently.

"Hey there, cutie," Red-X said, though he was SUPPOSED to say that to Starfire.

"Oh, Red-X or Xavier or whatever, we cannot be together!" Raven swooned. "For you are a villain, and I am the (angsty) heroine who everyone cherishes and loves!"

"But it cannot matter, for our LOVE is stronger than Chuck Norris!" Red-X declared, holding Raven close to his bosom…er, chest.

"Yes! Take me, Red-X or Xavier or whatever!" Raven swooned yet again.

"I love you with a burning desire that can melt even your frigid heart, bitch!" Red-X said.

"And I- wait, what?" Raven asked.

"Uh, nothing. Now, let us kiss!"

They kissed. It was hawt.

"Now I must go, before Robin appears!" Red-X said before vanishing in a sparkly flash that dazzled the shit out of Raven.

"Ah, my eyes!" Raven screeched (sexily), blinded by the dazzleness of Red-X. She tottered around before nearly falling off the roof.

"Noooo!" Robin screamed as he popped up conveniently. He ran over and caught her.

"Raven, I love you. Will you be my love bird?" Robin asked.

"Hell yeah! Uh, I mean, of course, my Boy Wonder!" Raven swooned, temporarily forgetting about Red-X or Xavier or whatever. They kissed dramatically, their tongues doing the Cha-Cha together.

"Auuuuggggghhhh my liver!" Starfire screamed from downstairs as she dropped dead. You know, so she won't get in the way of the love triangle.

After Robin left, Red-X appeared again.

"I love you, even though I already told you that approximately 31 seconds ago!" Red-X said. "Let us kiss yet again!"

Raven said yes, and stuff. They kissed. Then Robin came back.

"Arrrghhh Raven is MINE!" Robin shrieked. Red-X and Robin began fighting.

"Woah there ladies, you need to take a few chill pills!" Raven said, bonking them over their heads with a large rubber hammer. "Now, I think I'll decide who I'll be stuck with for the rest of my angsty emo life."

"Robin, let me see your eyes," Raven demanded.

"Of course, my mistress of magic!" Robin said dreamily, tearing off his mask, even though it went against all his beliefs.

"Oh, they're blue." Raven said, stating the obvious. "Now, Red-X, tell me your real name. Is it Xavier? Tell me the truth."

Red-X looked away in shame. "My real name is... Samantha Tequila Rainbow Jones."

Raven blinked, then shrieked in horror.

"Oh noes! This unconvenient plot twist arouses further complications to our already complex relationship which only adds even more elements of boredom to this already pointless crack story! With a love triangle!"

"But I still lurves you!" Samantha Tequila Rainbow Jones cried. Raven shrugged.

"Alrighty then." she said. They made out some more. Robin cried and unexpectedly fell in a deep coma which he never awoke from.

"Marry me, Raven!" Red-X or Xavier or Samantha Tequila Rainbow Jones or whatever said.

"Okey dokey!" Raven said, obviously out of character.

They married, even though they were still underage, and had several demonic children that eventually met some other not-as-quite-demonic children that were conveniently other Teen Titans' children. To everyone's shock, Red-X and Raven became not-as-important background characters that constantly fell in comas that soon became nothing but minor annoyances.

Thus, a new SAGA OF PURE AWESOMENESS was born.

AN: Egh, passable. Not great, but passable. This is seriously how a story I read went. It was written, like, a gajillion years ago though.  
I'm thinking about a Blackfire chapter next. Then a Batman chapter, then... I dunno.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated. (Seriously! I'll eat them gladly!)


	30. Bitchfire: Abridged

AN: Sorry, I ignored the vote and decided to to Blackfire's chapter first. I am so mean :D  
The format for this chapter was largely inspired by 'Wicked in 62 Seconds.' If you've seen Wicked (the musical) I would totally recommend reading it. Hilarious!  
I don't exactly think that Blackfire would be interested in Robin. She's too good for him, anyways.

Bitchfire: Abridged

"We're in love!" Starfire and Robin said.

"We're playing video games!" Beast Boy and Cyborg said.

"I'm reading a book!" Raven said.

"I'm on parole!" Blackfire said.

"I'm eating mustard!" Starfire said.

"I'm going to Earth!" Blackfire said.

"I love Starfire!" Robin said.

"I like tofu!" Beast Boy said.

"I like my car!" Cyborg said.

"I like teaaaaa!" Raven said.

"I like mustard!" Starfire said.

"I hate Starfire!" Blackfire said.

"I'm not surprised!" Robin said.

"I lied to them!" Blackfire said.

"I forgive her!" Starfire said.

"I hang out with Blackfire!" Raven said.

"We play video games!" Beast Boy said.

"We arm wrestle!" Cyborg said.

"I pwn them all!" Blackfire said.

"I'm very suspicious!" Robin said.

"I still love Robin!" Starfire said.

"I still lie to them!" Blackfire said.

"I still like teaaaaa!" Raven said.

"I seduce Robin!" Blackfire said.

"I'm very uncomfortable!" Robin said.

"I suspect nothing!" Starfire said.

"We play more video games!" Beast Boy and Cyborg said.

"I seduce Robin some more!" Blackfire said.

"My spandex is too tight!' Robin said.

"I catch them in the act!" Starfire said.

"I laugh at her pain!" Blackfire said.

"My spandex is too tight!" Robin said.

"I angst a lot!" Starfire said.

"We suspect nothing!" Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg said.

"I try to explain!" Robin said.

"I'm too busy angsting!" Starfire said.

"I laugh evilly!" Blackfire said.

"We discover the truth!" Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg said.

"I discover the truth!" Starfire said.

"I'm really pissed!" Robin said.

"I'm in deep trouble!" Blackfire said.

"We kick her ass!" Robin, Starfire, Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg said.

"I am arrested!" Blackfire said.

"We make out!" Robin and Starfire said.

AN: Aaaand that's basically how most people interpret Blackfire.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	31. The Most Cliche Romance Ever

AN: I was listening to Ronald McDonald Insanity on Youtube while writing this. Go watch it, if you can afford the brain cells. Daaaaahh.....  
Apologies to anyone if this resembles their story. I have actually read several stories that fit this outline, but a couple of them were actually good... so... sorry.  
This is off topic, but please spread the word that Starfire DOES NOT say "Friend insertnamehere." PLEASE spread it. I beg of you. It's worse when people actually capitalize "Friend."  
Please.

The Most Cliché Romance Ever

There was a lot of sexual tension in Titans Tower.

You see, Robin was being a wuss and wouldn't admit his undying love for a certain red-head. No, not the Rock Lobster. It's Starfire.

Obviously, he has a crush on her. Can't you see him blush every time he sees her? Every time he sees her astounding beauty, her grandeur, her exquisiteness? Except for the times when she's squirting mustard all over her face. That doesn't count.

Starfire was too busy being her strange alien self to take any notice.

So, anyways, Robin was having erotic dreams of her when he suddenly had an EPIPHANY. He realized that he loved her more than his spandex! And that's a whole lotta love!

Beast Boy and Raven also loved each other, but that's not the main focus of this story.

So one day Robin went up to Starfire and shyly confessed his undying love for her.

"Eh… um… uh…. Ee… eye…. Oh…. You…. La…. Uh…. Eh…meh…. Duh…. Uh…" he stuttered. A bunch of rabid fangirls squealed at how cute he looked.

"Friend, say what to you trying are, friend?" Starfire asked, squirting mustard down her throat faster than you can say "WILLY JEE BILLY BOB!"

"I-I-I" Robin stammered.

"Friend, impediment of the speech perhaps have you, friend?" Starfire asked. A mountain of empty mustard gallons lay all around her like a mob of zombies.

"L-l-love y-you!" Robin blushed like a carrot. Oh, I mean, a tomato.

"Friend, say you what did, friend?" Starfire swallowed another quart of HARDCORE MUSTARD brand mustard.

"I love you!" Robin said, swooping down on one knee. "I love you more than the moon itself, because your endless beauty never fails to astound my weak human mind! You are like a goddess, and not just because you fell out of the sky and attempted to kill me! I love you so much, I would give my whole life just to spend an eternity counting every strand of radiant, shimmering, flaming hair on your beautiful head! Your eyes drown me in their beauty, their soul deep jewel quality, their-"

"Snore." Starfire snored.

"Ah, I see that my pure love has knocked you out, but fear not! We will never part!" Robin scooped her up and promptly dropped her.

"… Too heavy." He muttered. So he left her there. When Starfire woke up, she remembered Robin's little speech. She ran over to him, miraculously talking like a normal person.

"I love you too, my little bird!" she sang, making up his pet name on the spot. They kissed. Raven and Beast Boy did, too, but they're not of importance to this story.

Here comes the dilemma!

Batman showed up for no reason whatsoever. He was talking to Robin.

"Robin, your relationship will ruin your hero life! You cannot be with her! I FORRRBIIID YOU!!!!!" Batman yelled.

"Never! Our love will survive this maelstrom of attacks! Our love is IMMORRRRRTAL!!!!!" Robin yelled back.

"DUMP HERRRR!!!!" Batman screamed.

"NOOOOOO!!!!" Robin screamed back.

"I said DUMP HERRRR!!!!"

"NEVERRRRRRR!!!!"

Eventually, Robin's throat dried up and he was forced to comply. He went over to Starfire and told her the bad news.

"I'm DUMMPIIIING YOUUUUUU!!!!" Robin screamed in agony. "We can never see each other AGAAAAINNNNNN!!!!!"

Starfire began crying uncontrollably.

"Bu-bu-but I tho-tho-thought…" she blubbered.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Robin screamed. He paused, and screamed again.

"It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAND!!!!!"

Robin ran away for good. Starfire never saw him again. She cried. And stuff. Then she went to Batman for therapy.

"You will become my new apprentice!" Batman decided.

"But I'm also pregnant!" Starfire said.

"But that's anatomically impossible!" Batman cried in shock.

"Apparently not!" Starfire said.

Nine months later she had a little canon baby-hybrid-mutant-alien thing. Then Robin returned.

They didn't recognize each other. Robin was very suspicious. Starfire sang a song. He was entranced. They sang a duet. But no one could understand _what the hell _they were singing about. But it didn't matter, because it was LOVE. Robin realized who she was. They fell in love all over again. Robin met his daughter, who isn't really important enough to say anything.

And they became a happy family!

Somewhere in the background, Raven and Beast Boy were making out.

"Peace out, y'all!" Batman said.

AN: Ha ha, a short ending.  
Anyone who catches the Dragonball Z reference will get a... pack of tube socks at a discount price. :D  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated


	32. Sisters, You Say?

AN: Woot, woot, another early update! Ronald McDonald Insanity seriously helps my creative juices flow.  
So this chapter pertains to the running gag that all of Raven's relatives are named after birds, and Starfire's relatives' names all end with 'fire.'  
Hooray for defying the laws of nature!

Sisters, You Say?

So let's see… um, the Titans weren't doing anything, even though a bunch of people were being mugged and stuff in the streets. It didn't really matter, anyways, because no one actually died, or anything.

Moving along.

So, Robin and Starfire were, like making out, and so were, like Raven and Beast Boy! It was sooooo cute!

Cyborg was making out with the toaster, I think. Whatever.

So then the Titans finally decided to go put a stop to all the crimes. Slade was wreaking havoc and destroying a bunch of stuff.

"Titans, GO!" Robin commanded.

"Yo, you can't tell us what to do, dawg!" Cyborg yelled.

While they were busy arguing, Slade was still being a pain in the ass. But no, by the time the Titans started fighting him, they got their butts kicked. Because they're too weak.

Apparently.

Then in a magical flash of rainbow sugar, a girl appeared! She glared at Slade and he blew up into a million pieces. With her awesome death glare of justiceness!

"Hello, Titans." The girl said. A whole three paragraphs were dedicated to describing her eyes and nose, but for your sanity's sake, I won't put it in. "And, hello, sister."

She was referring to Raven, in case you were wondering.

"Oh no…" Raven suddenly fell into a puddle of angst. She got out, wiped herself off, and gasped at the sight of the mysterious girl. "It's my long lost identical twin sister, who's a whole three years younger than me!"

"That's biologically impossible!" Cyborg said. Starfire slapped him to make him shut up.

"Her name is Crow." Raven said sadly. "We both share a tragic past, involving murder, abuse, rape, and 24 hrs of being forced to watch reruns of Hannah Montana. It was awful!"

"And yes, we will get over this." Crow said comfortingly. Robin smiled like a dork.

"Hur hur, wanna join our team? Course ya do!" Robin tossed her a communicator.

"Raven, aren't you going to summon our _other _sisters?" Crow asked.

"Oh yeah, huh." Raven brought out something that looked like a dog whistle and blew it. Instantly, in more sugary flashes of cottony goodness, a bunch of other Raven lookalikes appeared.

"Guys, these are my other sisters." Raven said. All the girls waved hi. "Their names are…" she took a deep breath. "… Hawk, Falcon, Owl, Phoenix, Eagle, Cardinal, Albatross, Blue jay, Jay, Blackbird, Duck, Chicken, Ostrich, Penguin, Emu, Kiwi, Dodo, Quail, Pelican, Stork, Parrot, Toucan, Vulture, Flamingo, Crane, Dove, Pigeon, Hummingbird, Woodpecker, Cuckoo, Kingfisher, Sparrow, Seagull, and Parakeet. Did I forget anyone? Ah, yes. And the runt of the litter, Big Bird."

"Hyuck hyuck, y'all gotta join da team!" Robin tossed out a bunch of communicators like confetti. All the girls caught them.

"Raven, why are you all named after birds?" Starfire asked.

"Our father was Trigon. Remember that. He's a complete nutcase." Raven said. "Did I mention that all of them are my identical twins?"

"That's also biologically impossible!" Cyborg cried. Starfire slapped him again.

And so all of Raven's older and younger identical twins helped the Titans fight a bunch of villains. And other stuff like that. Then, after a few weeks, yet _another _mysterious girl crash landed in the middle of the street.

"Hey sis." She said, brushing dirt and other crap off of her rather revealing costume.

And yes, she is talking to Starfire.

"Hello, sister, who for some reason can talk more of the normal than I can!" Starfire said. "Friends, this is my sister, Sunfire!"

A bunch of other girls randomly fell from the sky.

"Oh, you have brought the whole family!" Starfire squealed. "Friends, I wish to introduce you to the litter!"

She took a huge breath, inflating her rather empty head.

"These are Sunfire, Moonfire, Cloudfire, Redfire, Flamefire, Planetfire, Icefire, Snowfire, Waterfire, Dirtfire, Lightfire, Flashfire, Steelfire, Flowerfire, Sockfire, Hairfire, Sneezefire, Bigfire, Smallfire, Thinfire, Fatfire, Cakefire, Pancakefire, Beerfire, Winefire, Boozefire, Lemonfire, Limefire, Hypoallergenicfire, Hippopotamusfire, Potheadfire, Crackfire, Heroinfire, Mashfire, Crapfire, Firefire, Firefirefire, Disestablishmentarianismfire, and Chrononhotonthologosfire!"

"You forgot me, Prettyfire!" a girl with purple head called.

"Ah, yes, Prettyfire. The one who mother always preferred." Starfire glared at her.

"Hee hee, join our team!" Robin climbed on the top of a car and tossed basketfuls of communicators out to the crowd of Starfire's many many twin sisters. A few criminals and mentally maniacal people caught some, but Robin didn't really care.

"The more the merrier, I always say!" Robin giggled.

"Hey, I didn't get any dialogue! This is a public outrage!" Beast Boy yelled.

And they all lived happily ever after.

AN: I never really liked people making their OCs siblings of canon characters.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	33. Family Musical Drama!

AN: I'm considering ending Generic Exaggeration once it hits 50 chapters. Or 100. Or something.  
I think this chapter is self-explanatory. It's all the cheesy family/romance/angst/dramas out there condensed into about 600 words.

Family Musical Drama!

OMG it was so amazing! Starfire, Raven, and Jinx were all pregnant! Their bellies were swollen with little demon seeds- er… I mean… bundles of joy.

It's kinda obvious who the daddies are. Robin, Beast Boy, and Kid Flash, duh! Only Cyborg was left out. He was out somewhere being a pimp and all that. Word up, y'all.

So then the girls suddenly realized how abusive and bitchy their boyfriends were being, even though they weren't. So, they decided to run away to Canada, or something like that.

"Oh no! I just realized how much I loved Starfire!" Robin cried, grabbing a knife and cutting his wrists.

"And I had an epiphany making me see how beautiful and sexy Raven truly is!" Beast Boy said, attempting to hang himself.

"Jinx is my one true love! And now she's gooooone!" Kid Flash wailed, sticking his hand in a toaster.

They started singing songs about their angst and love.

_Oh, I loved you so much._

_And now you're gone._

_I am very sad._

_Because you're gone._

_I really really really loved you._

_Did I mention I'm sad._

_Because you're gone and stuff like that._

After several broken windows and a dead pigeon, they finally stopped singing.

Meanwhile, a gajillion miles away, the three girls gave birth to their little demonic bundles of joy and evil. I mean, babies.

"We will name you Joy, Harmony, and Lovely-Dovely!" Starfire, Raven, and Jinx said. And so they raise their little girls in this AHDORABLE little apartment with five bedrooms and a kitchen! They stopped being heroes, too.

About a dozen years later, Joy, Harmony, and Lovely-Dovely were all grown up. No, not really. I think they were twelve, or something.

"Hey, gals, I have an idea!" Joy said. Kori (or Kory), Rachel, and… Lucky (what an ironic name for a person called Jinx) were out being drunk and secretly angsting about their past loves.

"What is it, Joy?" Harmony asked.

"Let's go find our DADDEHS!" Joy said.

"Yay! Let's steal my mom's car and drive meaninglessly around the country while getting into all sorts of mischevious adventures!" Lovely-Dovely said. And so the three Mary Sues somehow got to Jump City where their real dads were still crying and angsting. Cyborg became a multi-millionaire and moved to Saturn, so he won't be in the story.

Joy, Harmony, and Lovely-Dovely found three dudes in a bar, crying and singing songs that sounded like they came from a Disney movie.

_We're still angsting_

_Because we miss our ladies_

_They're aren't here_

_So we sing songs all day while people complain_

_About our horrible choice of lyrics_

"OMG!" Joy, Harmony, and Lovely-Dovely said. "You must be our daddies, even though we don't even know who the hell you guys are! Come with us and meet our mommies!"

So they kidnapped Dick, Gar, and Wally and took them all the way to their adorable little apartment where their now-sober moms were reading Teen Vogue in a vain attempt to retain what was left of their youth. In other words, they got OLD.

"Wow! Even though we haven't seen each other in more than a decade, we still love you and stuff! Let's sing a duet!" Kori (or Kory), Rachel, and… Lucky… said.

"Hooray!" Dick, Gar, and Wally cheered.

_Now we stopped angsting_

_Because of the love_

_So much love, and stuff_

_Your eyes are really pretty_

_Let's live together_

_For eternity_

_Even though I have heart disease and will possibly die in a year or two, depending on how much medication I take_

_But it doesn't matter_

_Because of our LOOOOOOOVE!!!!_

And they lived happily ever after. Except for Cyborg. He got stranded on Mars on his way to Saturn.

AN: In most of those, Cyborg rarely plays an important role. Or he gets thrown with Bumblebee and they move to Africa, never to make a cameo appearance again.  
More suggestions and requests are welcome!  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	34. Vegetable Starfire & Grammatical Lessons

AN: So, I'm getting sick of the fics where Starfire (or any other female Titan, for that matter) plays the helpless damsel in distress, and one of the guys has to pull them out of their suicidal thoughts with pure love and lots of cheesy songs. Ugh.  
Starfire and Raven can take care of themselves, dammit!  
I also don't like excessive bad grammar. One or two slips is fine, but things like "Robin addition with other Titans were, like, fighting alot of lots monsters they were becoming beaten!" is just unforgivable.

Vegetable Starfire and Grammatical Lessons

It was dark and stormy night. As usual. Robin was out getting lost in the streets.

"Stupid suburbs…" Robin muttered, sprinting around in the rain. He suddenly came upon a giant random warehouse, the setting for many dark and creepy atmospheres.

Don't ask me where the other Titans are. I don't know, okay?

Robin entered the very random warehouse. It was dark and empty.

How very descriptive!

But then he saw a bloody purple lump of meat on the center of the floor. But no. It wasn't a lump of meat. It was Starfire!

"Oh no! Starfire! I will run towards you, even though this is obviously a clever trap set up by my arch-nemesis who I secretly love, Slade!" Robin yelled, running over. A big net fell on top of him.

"Grrr!" Robin growled in frustration. "Now I am helpless, because my limbs are tangled in this rather smelly fish net!"

"Hello, Robin." Slade purred, stepping out from the shadows. "So glad you could make it."

"SLAAAAADE!" Robin screamed in anger. He continued squirming in the net. "What the hell did you do???????????????????"

"Now, is that any excuse to waste so many question marks? Really, think of the economy." Slade scolded.

"Starfire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Robin screamed.

"Stop it, stop it. Now look at what you did. You took all the exclamation points. Now how am I going to laugh evilly?" Slade shook his head. "See, watch. Mwahahahahahahaha." Slade sighed. "It just isn't the same."

The bloody purple lump of meat twitched and moaned in agony and pain. And pain. Did I mention agony?

"Ah, yes. You are perhaps wondering what happened to your little girlfriend?" Slade purred, stroking his imaginary goatee like a real villain would. "Well, first I –CENSORED- her, then I –CENSORED- and then –CENSORED-. Any questions?"

Robin howled in pure rage and fury and stuff. Slade giggled- I mean, chuckled, and danced away. After finally realizing he could just cut the net off, Robin crawled over to Starfire, who looked like she was dead.

"Noooooooo!" Robin screamed.

A convenient scene change suddenly occurred.

"Oh noes, what happened?" Cyborg yelled at the sight of Robin carrying Starfire, who was covered in ketchup and blood, into the infirmary.

"She was –CENSORED-!" Robin said.

"Wait, she was censored? What's that mean?" Beast Boy asked.

"Robin, you really need to watch out for unnecessary capitalization and improper use of hyphens that can cause confusion among readers. Or are those dashes? I always get confused." Raven said in her usual boring voice.

"Raven, what're you talking about?" Robin yelled.

"Fourth wall. Deal with it, bitch." Raven flipped him off in a not-very-Raven-like way.

"Well, since she was –CENSORED-, Starfire will most likely never recover from the horrible experience." Cyborg said.

Raven pinched the bridge of her nose. "Not you too. Why not just say she was raaaaaaaped?"

"Because, this is a children's show!" Robin said.

"But we aren't _technically_ in a show right now. We're merely imitations of the real characters placed in a fanfiction written by a girl who isn't even in college yet." Raven said.

"Hey! I heard that!" I said, somehow shattering the already damaged fourth wall and breaking in. Raven scowled and kicked my sorry arse all the way to Candytopia, where I lived all my wildest dreams and met my dream prince and lived in my dream castle-mansion and-

Oh, did you fall asleep? Sorry. On to the story.

"Why don't you just explain the meaning of life?" Beast Boy muttered.

"There is no meaning of life. Life is meaningless. We will all die horrible and painful deaths at the hands of my very tall and very evil father. How optimistic!" Raven squealed in a not-very-Raven-like way.

"Ahem." Starfire coughed rather inconspicuously from her deathbed.

"Oh, right. You're wounds." Robin scratched his butt. "Noooooo!! Starfire!!!!"

"She will never heal." Cyborg said sadly, playing with his Fisher Price brand doctoring kit. "Starfire will be catatonic for the rest of her life. You'll need to feed her, water her, dress her, clean her, and all that other junk."

"Well, we might as well have gotten a dog!" Robin groaned. "Think of all the money thatll be wasted! The health care! The hospital bills!"

"You left out an apostrophe." Raven pointed out. "And we already have Silkie." Robin rudely ignored her.

"I swear I will AVENGE YOUUUU!!!!1elevendythousand!!!!" Robin roared in his chivalrous way. "SLAAAAAADE! Raven, you feed Starfire while I go hunt him down and impale his severed head on a pitchfork while wearing his bloody pelt and dancing the traditional Dance of Death around a campfire."

Robin leapt out the window to go do those things.

Raven stuck a carrot in Starfire's mouth.

"Good enough." Raven walked away. Beast Boy and Cyborg shrugged and followed her.

And so Robin continued hunting Slade down, leaving the readers with an unsatisfying ending, leaving them to write fanfictions about this fanfiction… which didn't really make alot of sense at all.

"'A lot' is two words, not one. Or you can substitute 'a lot of' with 'much' instead, so it sounds less awkward." Raven pointed out.

"Shut up." I said.

AN: Yeaaaah. Next chapter will be on Slade's many secret identities. It's already written out, but... I dunno.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	35. The Many Identities of Slade

AN: This one is hella short.  
I don't really get how people can make up their own theories as to Slade is. I mean, he already has one in the comics (a mercenary, if I recall correctly from bits and bobs). The most ridiculous theories are included in this 436 words long chapter.

The Many Identities of Slade

This is a tragic story about Slade Wilson, one of the most mysterious characters in Teen Titans.

Oh, did I say his real name out loud? Whoops.

He was _supposed _to be Deathstroke, but small children apparently can't handle the word 'death' and that would attract the PTA. And you all know how scary the PTA can be.

So Slade it is.

He has white hair and an eye patch, leading many to write AU stories about him being a pirate or a lawyer or something equally strange.

He is also apparently a pedophile, because we don't know what happened offscreen during the Apprentice episodes…

"What happens in the lair stays in the lair!" Slade said.

"Okay." Robin said, too traumatized to do anything else. But, he secretly enjoyed it, as every Sladin fan interpreted.

So, like, the only time we saw him without his mask was during the The End episodes. And he was a zombie skeleton thingy. Ohhhhh snap SPOILERS!!!

So a bunch of Slade fans made up his origins and true identity, even though he ALREADY HAS ONE in the comics.

But most of them don't read the comics, so whatever.

Theory #1: Robin's long lost daddy!

Robin hung at the edge of a cliff, Slade looking down upon him.

"Robin." Slade said. "That circus dude actually adopted you. _I _am your father!"

"Nooooooo!" Robin screamed as he plummeted down to his death.

Theory #2: Batman!

"Alfred, did you polish my _other _mask?" Batman winked, sitting by the fireplace.

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Yes, sir. Oh, and did you take your medications, sir?"

"No, what for?"

"Oh, nothing."

Theory #3: Future Robin!

"Wait, but I was supposed to become Nightwing!" Robin said in confusion.

"Too bad, loser." Slade-future-Robin said smugly.

"Damn fangirls." Robin muttered, clenching his fists.

Theory #4: Robin's older brother!

Robin hung at the edge of a cliff, Slade looking down upon him

"Déjà vu." Slade muttered. He shook his head. "Oh yeah, and Robin, I'm your brother."

"Nooooooo!" Robin screamed as he plummeted down to his death.

Slade looked around confusedly.

"Déjà vu…"

Theory #5: Chuck Norris!

Slade took off his mask.

"WTF?" Robin yelled, standing at the edge of a cliff.

"Did I give you permission to talk?" Chuck Norris/Slade said, knocking Robin off the edge of the cliff.

Of course, none of those are really true. But, as the most common excuse among bad writers of fanfiction goes…

"Screw canon! It's fanfiction, bitch!"

AN: For some instances, it annoys me when people whine 'but it's fanfictioooon canooooon doesn't matterrrrr!!1!!11'  
I mean, I can handle a few crack pairings or AUs, but when people start changing names, personalities *coughemoRavencoughbimboStarfirecough*, origins and (the worst) siblings, then it's just plain irritating.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	36. The Angst of Beast Boy

AN: So I never really got why people occassionaly writes Beast Boy to be all depressed and/or temperamental. I have heard that he was like that in the comics, but _come on, people!_ As long as this is in the cartoons category, keep his personality in check with his scrawny vegetarian animated persona!  
Tomorrow is my birthday (yayz), then I'm going to someone else's birthday party the day after, then school starts, so this will be the last update for a while (possibly, depends on whatever).  
Thanks for all your reviews and support, guys! We're almost at the 300 mark!

The Angst of Beast Boy

Everyone knows that Beast Boy is a hyperactive, tofu-loving, happy-go-lucky, humorous, cheeky, sneaky, fun-loving, green little teen. Or, as Cyborg would say, Green Bean. Or something like that.

But, many angst lovers enjoy turning him into a dark, brooding, angsting, sorrowful, suicidal, temperamental, easily-angered, raging green little teen. You know, because of that Beast Within episode.

Maybe they didn't watch the end of it. But whatever.

Most people make him like that just to piss Raven off, or to put her in some predicament in order to make Beast Boy rescue her so they can realize their love and become the emo-est couple ever to step foot in Teen Titans fandom. Besides Robin/Raven, of course, but that isn't canon.

"Oh noes! I just realized how depressing my entire life is! I think I'll pick up Raven's persona and wear her clothes and cut myself and write depressing poetry!" Beast Boy said one day.

"Oh no you di'in't!" Cyborg said, slapping Beast Boy and snapping his fingers.

Uh…

Anyways, Beast Boy didn't end up wearing Raven's clothes (because he would just look creepy in a leotard) but he did become very depressed and angered.

"Beast Boy! Go train! I hate you! I am very insensitive to other people's feelings! I also hate Starfire! Go train! Training is the meaning of life! I'm a bossy and arrogant bastard who has no feelings whatsoever! So go train! Now!" A very OOC Robin yelled while pounding on Beast Boy's door.

Beast Boy opened the door and slashed off his face with his really big claws that he got out of nowhere.

The next day, Starfire tried to cheer him up.

"Friend Beast Boy, Friend! Friend would friend you friend like friend to friend go friend to friend the friend mall friend of friend shopping friend with friend me friend? Friend you friend must friend leave friend your friend room friend once friend in friend a friend while friend, friend!*" Starfire said, talking like she normally does.

Apparently.

"WTF are you saying, you orange alien freak?" Beast Boy yelled, socking her in the face. "Oh, and by the way, YOU'RE REALLY FAT."

Starfire ran off sobbing, vowing never to eat again.

Then Cyborg gave a shot.

"Yo, grass stain, yo! Come chill wit me and the homies in da crib, yo! You can't be all hatin like dat all day, yo! Booyah!" Cyborg said, waving his shiny bling around.

Beast Boy blasted him far away with a bazooka conveniently hanging on the wall beside him.

By then, all the Titans were either seriously injured, starving themselves to death, or somewhere in Kansas. Except for one person. It's everyone's favorite demonesssss….

RAVEN!!!!!

She has purple hair and really pale skin and she wears this really cool cloak and a leotard with a cool belt thing and her eyes are really pretty and purple and WAIT A SECOND.

Why am I telling you what she looks like? Am I, the author, really that stupid and ignorant?

Why, yes, yes I am.

Anyways, Raven was trying to cheer the angsting changeling up.

She barged right in his (emo) bedroom, being the strongly assertive and independent young demoness she is. Then she gave him a loooooooooong speech about feelings and love and other gushy crap like that.

I won't write the entire speech out because I'm lazy like that.

"Now I realized that I, in fact, truly love you!" Raven said.

"And I realized that I was just PMSing the whole time!" Beast Boy said.

They kissed.

It was SO dramatic.

-_Insert meaningless song lyrics here_-

AN: *Would you like to go to the mall of shopping with me? You must leave your room once in a while.  
I also don't like it when people start describing what the Titans look like. It isn't very necessary, and it just takes up space. I mean, if people are reading Teen Titans fics, then they must have watched the show at some point, so yeah, they would know what they look like, am I right?  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	37. CyBee in a Nutshell

AN: Updates will most likely be once a week, or every other week now. School is not my forte.  
So, I never really got the whole 'Sparky' connection between Cyborg and Bumblebee. To me, it seems like the CyBee pairing is just an excuse to get Cyborg out of the picture during Robstar/BBRae stories, and the whole 'Sparky' thing is just lame "proof". But then again, that's just me.  
Now, this is THE shortest chapter. THE shortest. THE.  
... I think you got it.

CyBee in a Nutshell

Cyborg and Bumblebee coincidently ran into each other on the streets.

"Hiya Sparky!" Bumblebee said.

"No one calls me Sparky!" Cyborg yelled angrily.

"But I did, so that must obviously mean we have an attraction to each other!" Bumblebee said.

"Of course! It all makes sense!" Cyborg said.

"Let's go make out, Sparky!" Bumblebee said.

"Okay!" Cyborg said.

They married and had some biologically impossible children.

Meanwhile, Robin and Starfire were making out and Beast Boy and Raven were having a lot of sparkly babies.

AN: I'm really sorry if this chapter wasn't very good. I just needed to make a quick point with the CyBee thing.  
I'm 3/4 done with the next chapter, which is on the whole Twilight-Realvampire debate. But, I need to know if anyone here would be offended by any anti-Twilight material. So please, let me know.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	38. Big Debate, and Twilight Bashing

This chapter has been deleted. Perhaps it will be rewritten. Perhaps it won't.

Who knows?


	39. Advertising Brands and Many POVs

AN: Holy shit! 300 reviews! Yeah, I'm the 300th reviewer. Sad, huh? But I just couldn't resist... heh heh heh. Thanks for all you reviewers and readers out there! Generic Exaggeration is only three away from reaching 50 faves!  
I didn't expect to see so many positive feedbacks for my Twilight-bashing. Now I feel fuzzy inside X3  
So, in celebration of reaching a double zero, I'm... UPDATING EARLY!!! Yeah!  
Then I have to finish writing a speech for my History class.

So, in this chapter, I bash the situation in which stories constantly switch between POVs. It gets annoying, confusing, and frustrating to read.  
There's also lots of advertising, because many young authors apparently enjoy bringing the wonders of modern culture into their writing.

Advertising Brands and Many POVs

Because writing in first person POV is apparently more 'creative' and 'perspective' I'll guess I'll join the trend. So, I present to you, a generic romance-at-the-mall fic in first person POV! Starring, all the Titans! (As if that wasn't obvious enough)

Robin POV

So, I was putting on my hair gel and trying to find Slade on FACEBOOK and TWITTER, when Starfire called over to me.

Starfire POV

I ran over to Robin and asked him if he would go to the mall with us.

"Okay." He said. I was very surprised, because I expected him to go off on a rampage and scream at me for disturbing his work. He said he needed to get something at RADIOSHACK.

Raven POV

I drank tea. I blew up Beast Boy. Why am I so angsty, again?

Robin POV

I admired Starfire's flaming red crimson neon shimmering glittering shining hair. I wondered what type of shampoo she used. Maybe OLAY. Or DOVE. But, I can't admit my true feelings for her for a very obscure reason which I cannot compute.

Starfire POV

Robin looks SO hot in those ABERCROMBIE jeans and QUIKSILVER shirt (I'm not advertising brands. I'm just suggesting them!). He was also wearing a jacket that he got from AEROPOSTLE. But then I wondered, why isn't he wearing his uniform? Oh well. He still looks cute.

Robin POV

Starfire is so pretty in that JUICY COUTURE jacket and HOLLISTER skirt. I especially admire her GUCCI purse and UGGS boots. Even her BURBERRY cap is really cool. She is SO hot.

Cyborg POV

Waffles are good. So is beef. And football.

_NFL Footbaaall..._

Raven POV

Oh great, Starfire and Robin, all decked out in their wannabe-designer clothes, just asked me if I wanted to go to the mall with them. Whatever. I'm not scheduled to cut my wrists until tomorrow, so I guess I can go. But I'm still angsting. About something. I forgot.

Beast Boy POV

Monkeys! Tofu!

Ahem.

So I heard that Star, Rob, and Rae were planning to go to the mall. I'm going, too! I'm going to buy LEGOS at TOYS'R'US!!! Yayyy!!! Then I'm gonna go to BURGER KING!!!

Robin POV

We all got in our new HONDA CIVIC PRIUS that we bought recently and drove to the mall, all while reducing our carbon emissions! We're going green!

Starfire POV

We walked into the mall. It's really big. I told that to my friends.

Beast Boy POV

Starfire said that it's really big.

"That's what she said!" I said.

Raven POV

I slapped Beast Boy and pushed him in the fountain. Now he's all wet. Uh oh… here comes my estrogen!

He looks hawt.

Oh no. It looks like I'm going to have to go to the pharmacy later to get some drugs, maybe some CYMBALTA or TUMS. I have no idea how that'll help, though. Maybe I should go get some of that toxic sludge they call food at MCDONALDS.

Did I mention that I'm really angsty?

Cyborg POV

I ran right over to the SHARPER IMAGE store, because I saw Bumblebee there. Since we're the only African American titans, we obviously belong together, but that sounds racist. Whatever. I grabbed Bumblebee's shoulder.

Bumblebee POV

Sparky suddenly appeared out of nowhere and started kissing me. I kissed back. I don't know why. I guess it's because we're both African American, though that's a horrible reason to start a relationship. Oh well.

Robin POV

Starfire suddenly started asking me if I would go to PACSUN with her so she could buy some clothes. She somehow convinced Raven to go.

Raven POV

Starfire somehow convinced me to go with her. But I wanted to go to STARBUCKS!!!

Beast Boy POV

So we're sitting in the fitting rooms, waiting for Starfire and Raven to try on clothes and show them to us. Robin keeps texting random people with his APPLE IPHONE, asking them if he saw Slade.

Starfire POV

I tried on some ECKO footwear. They fit well. I was also wearing some designer dress. I think it's DOLCE AND CABANA, or something.

Beast Boy POV

Raven told me to try on some CALVIN KLEIN stuff. I don't know why. I guess I will. Starfire also got some stuff for Robin to try.

Ten minutes later…

Robin POV

When I saw Starfire, my heart flipped over like a BLUEBERRY PANCAKE… oh wait… that isn't a brand. Or is it?

Raven, Beast Boy, and Starfire POV

Ditto. We are so hot. And sexy.

Narrarator POV

They started making out. It was so hot. Starfire sprayed some CHANEL NO 4 over them, so they not only looked sexy, they also _smelled_ sexy, too!

Cyborg POV

We're going to LAS VEGAS, baby!

Bumblebee POV

What he said.

AN: Hooray for advertising!  
Oh, and go check out the poll in my profile. I'm trying to figure out which chapter was the worst, so I can redo it. I chose a few of my personal least favorites.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated. So will votes.


	40. The Great TofuMeat Debate

AN: Just a reminder, the poll for worst chapter is still open! PM me if your least fav isn't on the list.  
Here's a suggestion from Star of Airdrie, concerning the ever loved classic Tofu-Meat argument. Seriously, though. Nearly all fics has this thing somewhere in it at some point.

The Great Tofu-Meat Debate

It was another perfectly normal morning for the Teen Titans.

"Tofu!" Beasty Boy screamed.

"Some variation of beef or pork!" Cyborg yelled.

"Tofu!" Beast Boy screamed.

"Roasted, grilled, or barbecued animal corpses!" Cyborg yelled.

"Tofu!" Beast Boy screamed.

"Unborn chickens, more commonly known as eggs!" Cyborg yelled.

"Tofu!" Beast Boy screamed.

"The fat and muscle of butchered animals!" Cyborg yelled.

"Tofu!" Beast Boy screamed.

"Any kind of meat, except for fish, because fish is healthy!" Cyborg yelled.

"Tofu!" Beast Boy screamed.

"WAFFLES!!!" Raven screeched loudly. Beast Boy and Cyborg looked at her, speechless. Raven shrugged.

"Anything to get you guys to stop arguing."

AN: I love it when Raven screams or yells. It's just so... un-Raven-ish.  
Reviews and votes will be greatly appreciated.


	41. Starfire's Adorable Lil'Prophecy of Doom

AN: Ho damn! I didn't expect to get thirty reviews yesterday! Thanks for all your support, you gaiz!!111!!!!!  
There's just a small part in here, but has anyone ever seen fanart or read a fanfic where Robin suddenly becomes taller than Starfire?

Starfire's Adorable Little Prophecy of Doom

So even though Starfire is possibly the most hated character in the history of characters EVAH… I'm still going to write out her own Season Arc. I call it… SEASON 6!!!111!!socreative!!!

Please ignore the fact that it greatly resembles Raven's arc.

So one day, Starfire realized it was her birthday. I think she was eighteen, or something. I dunno.

"Like, oh my gosh, you guys!" Starfire exclaimed, practicing her Valley Girl accent. "Like, it's totally my birthday!"

"Lolwhut?" Beast Boy asked.

Raven threw Beast Boy out the window for no reason whatsoever. Maybe she did have reason. But it doesn't really matter, does it?

"Happy birthday, baby." Robin said, miraculously growing another fourteen inches so he was taller than Starfire.

Starfire giggled intensely, and they began making out.

THEN, all of the sudden, they got a transmission from Galfore.

"Greetings, my bumgorf! It is I, your knorfka! Gesundheit!" Galfore yelled, overusing the only heard Tamaranean words heard during the whole series.

"Oh, hello, Galfore!" Starfire said cheerfully.

"I just swung by to tell you that an unstoppable prophecy that will destroy the whole galaxy will commence in approximately… twenty eight seconds! Oh, and have a happy birthday, princess!" Galfore cut off the transmission.

"Lolwhut?" Beast Boy drooled rather stupidly.

"Oh noes!" Robin cried.

"Hey! You stole my entire scenario!" Raven said angrily.

"Booyah!" Cyborg… booyahed.

A bunch of bright green symbols suddenly appeared on Starfire's skin. She glowed so brightly that the sun went blind.

A bunch of dramatic music played in the background.

"Aaaauuugh!" Starfire screamed in agony and angst. The wind blew really hard.

After a very long and boring discussion about the prophecy and Starfire's fan-made angsty childhood involving demons and ninja-aliens, Starfire realized she had to go to Tamaran.

"But what for?" Robin cried.

"I don't know. It seems like the right thing to do." Starfire shrugged, somehow talking like a normal hardcore American person would. Hardcore, y'all!

So Starfire packed up the other Titans and they flew all the way to Tamaran.

"What the hell?" Raven said in her usual boring voice.

There was a war going on. Blood and guts were flying all over the place. Galfore ran up to meet them.

"Oh! I forgot to mention, we're at war with the Gordonians! Again!" Galfore said, tearing the head off of a big lizard-fish-thing-man. "And the only way to settle this and destroy the prophecy is to realize love!"

"Lolwhut?" Beast Boy said.

"In simpler words, you have to marry someone and have hot sex with him! Or her, if you roll that way." Galfore said.

"I choose you, Pika-Robin-chu!" Starfire yelled, pointing dramatically at Robin.

"Gasp! Me? But you must stop the war, my love!" Robin gasped. "We have no time for hot lemons and smuts!"

"But we must! Let's get married!" Starfire said.

So they got married and… did that thing, whatever it was.

The war stopped. The prophecy was broken.

They went back to Earth, too.

"Guess what? I'm pregnant!" Starfire said a few days after the rather short incident.

"Hooray! Let's name her Mari, because it's canon!" Robin said.

"No, I think I'll name her Samantha-Sally-Erin-Karen-Courtney-Jessica-Sarah-Celina-Victoria-Charlene-Emily-Tess-Jasmine-Ariel-Bella-Hortensia." Starfire said, rubbing her big fat belly.

"But why?" Robin sobbed.

"Because, this is fanfiction, bitch!" Starfire yelled, slapping her husband around. Then they made out.

"Something tells me this whole thing was just an excuse to slap Starfire and Robin together for romance." Raven whispered to Cyborg and Beast Boy.

"Blame those RobStar fangirls." Cyborg shuddered.

"Lolwhut?"

AN: Now, I leave to do my homework. Bye gaiz!!!111!!! Be sure to check out my new story Garfield Logan: Always Available! too!  
Poll will be closed at the end of the month.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	42. It's a Mistletoe, Stupid

AN: I don't know why, but Christmas fics always seemed a bit... boring to me. I don't know why, though...  
And here we go. The typical mistletoe excuse to get two characters to make out and realize true luuurve.

It's Mistletoe, Stupid

For some obscure reason, it was Christmas time. This meant reindeer were running amuck, innocent chestnuts were roasted alive, small annoying children were singing off-key, and ruthless teens were running pedestrians over with their Mega-Awesome Sleds of Doom.

In Titans Tower, everyone was getting ready for Christmas. Raven was drinking eggnog and getting high off of it, Beast Boy was eating all of the candy and being a gluttonous fool, Cyborg was rigging up some enormous energy-consuming Christmas lights that drained most of the electricity from the city power plant, Starfire was baking something that vaguely resembled a human torso adorned with fingernails, and Robin was summoning his fellow minions, no scratch that, _Titans_ to their annual Christmas party.

"Ho ho ho ho ho ho…" Slade chuckled evilly, wearing a fluffy Santa hat. He was spying on all of them through the window. "I was planning to burn down your tower and decapitate you all, but since this is Christmas, I guess I can take a break… ho ho ho ho ho…"

"Are you done yet, sir?" Wintergreen (who no one really knows) groaned, supporting Slade's weight on his shoulders. "You're too heavy."

"Gasp! Are you calling me fat, Wintergreen?" Slade gasped rather girly-ly.

"No sir." Wintergreen sighed.

"Then onwards, my noble steed who no one really knows!" Slade cried, holding up a little wooden sword.

"Yes sir." Wintergreen began to run, Slade sitting on his shoulders.

Meanwhile, inside the tower, all the Titans were huddling together with mugs of hot chocolate.

Ah, what a peaceful scene.

"I think I need to go to the bathroom." Starfire said robotically, standing up and walking away.

"Me too." Robin followed after her.

Starfire walked and walked and walked until she was standing underneath a curious little green plant thing hanging from the doorway.

"Robin, what's this?" Starfire asked, pointing at the green thing.

He ignored her.

"Huh? Did you say something?" Robin turned around.

"Yes, what is this?" Starfire repeated.

"It's a mistletoe."

"A what?"

"A mistletoe."

"What?"

"A mistletoe!"

"Huh?"

"Dammit, it's a freakin mistletoe!" Robin yelled.

"… what?"

Robin sighed and grabbed Starfire. Instead of kissing her as one would expect, however, he screamed in her ear.

"IT'S A MOTHAF***N MISTLETOE, BYOTCH!!!" Robin screamed as loudly as he could.

"Oh, is that what it is." Starfire said, pulling some cotton out of her ears.

"Some silly tradition says that whoever's under one of those mothaf***n mistletoes has to erotically make out with the person next to them." Robin said.

"Oh. Okay then." Starfire said. They started making out.

How romantic!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

AN: Yaaaaay.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	43. Terra: Spontaneous Resurrection

AN: I kinda jammed my finger during basketball, so I can't move it at all and it's covered in a nasty bruise... so it's hard for me to type. Luckily, I have the next chapter written out and ready to roll!  
Another short chapter. Sigh.

Terra: Spontaneous Resurrection

Robin ran into the operations center. Cyborg and Beast Boy were playing video games, Starfire was watching them, and Raven was being her usual outcast self. As usual.

"Titans, we have a problem!" Robin yelled.

"Don't you mean _Houston_??? Heh? Heh?" Beast Boy elbowed Cyborg.

Crickets, And several grasshoppers.

"…No. Just no." Raven shook her head in disgust.

"That was just awful, Beast Boy." Robin facepalmed.

"Even I am quite disgusted." Starfire said.

"They're all right, BB. You're jokes aren't very good anymore." Terra said.

"Wha wha wha WHA?" Beast Boy's jaw dropped open. "Terra! Where the hell did you cometh from?"

"You never noticed?" Starfire asked.

"She's been living with us for a few years now." Raven said.

"But strangely, none of us aged at all, creating several plot holes." Cyborg said.

"Damn right!" Robin said, obviously out of character.

"But this means that we can fall in love all over again, as if we were in some horrible soap opera!" Beast Boy said, swooping over to Terra.

"Hey, everyone, I think I'll become a jealous bitch and commit suicide, because for some reason I'm secretly in love with you. Even though I never would be." Raven scowled.

"Have you been reading fanfiction?" Terra asked.

"Yeah. So, sorry, we can't be BFFs anymore. I have to hate you and, as I mentioned before, write a depressing piece of poetry then dramatically hurl myself over a cliff. Or into one of those big wood-chippers. Either works." Raven shrugged. She began cutting herself and wailing with angst. "Whyyyy, whyyy Beast Boyyyyy whyyyyy did you choose Terrraaaa?!?!?" Raven sprinted over to the window, kicked a hole in it, and jumped out.

"Dang it. Now who am I going to make fun of Starfire with?" Terra sighed. "Oh, uh, I mean, BWAHAHAHA!!!! Take that, bitch! Beast Boy is all miiiiine!!111!!!zomg!!!"

"Noooo! I just realized that my love, in fact, belonged to Raven all along!" Beast Boy sobbed, playing along with them. "I hate you, Terra! I hope you diiiieee!!!! Raaaveeeen!!!!!sob!!!!"

"And I shall continue playing the role of the piece of background decoration!" Starfire said cheerfully. Cyborg smacked her.

"Shut up! We aren't supposed to say anything, because we aren't important to this story!" Cyborg whispered.

"That hurts." Robin whimpered. He began crying.

"I'm alive!!!!" Raven said, suddenly appearing. "I nearly forgot I could fly. How dumb am I?"

"Nooo!!! Beast Boy is still mine!" Terra hissed.

"We shall battle to the death… wait. You know what, this is getting pretty boring." Raven said. "Wanna go get some tea and make fun of Starfire?"

"Sure!" They linked arms and skipped all the way to the mall.

"I feel like I have no fans." Starfire said sadly.

"Aw, don't worry; I have plenty of haters too. THEY'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS OF MY SPANDEX!!!" Robin yelled to no one of particular.

"And many view me to be nothing but a nuisance who enjoys banging his car." Cyborg said.

"Some people think I'm just plain annoying." Beast Boy said.

Meanwhile, at the café…

"Haha, Starfire's eyebrows are SO weird!" Terra laughed.

"They're like little polka-dots… I hate polka-dots…" Raven said in her usual monotonous voice.

"True dat!"

AN: Has anyone noticed that there is virtually NO ONE who hates Raven?  
Don't forget, poll for worst chapter is still open!  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	44. Incredibly Idiotic Chatroom Buddies

AN: One thing I don't understand is the concept of the Teen Titans in a chatroom. I mean, they all live under the same roof. Couldn't they just talk face to face?  
Oh, and FOUR HUNDRED reviews ZOMG!!11one!!! Thx, u gaiz!11!!two!!11!  
And, yes. I am the four hundredth reviewer. I am so pathetic :D

Incredibly Idiotic Chatroom Buddies

In order to keep up with modern times, this story shall take place in an online chatroom, the perfect place for pedophiles to kidnap young unsuspecting bootylicious teens. Why everyone seems to enjoy chatting in chatrooms, I'll never know. Whatever.

_WonderBoySpandexSladeHunter has logged in_

_TinManFootballSteak has logged in_

_GreenElfAnimalComedian has logged in_

_PurpleStarRedFireSparkle has logged in_

_GothicBlackBirdEmo has logged in_

WonderBoySpandexSladeHunter: What the hell's up with my name? It's so stupid.

TinManFootballSteak: We were forced to make an amalgam of all our interests or characteristics for our names. Stupid, huh? I'm not made of tin, dammit!

PurpleStarRedFireSparkle: I think I shall change my name. It does not correspond with my true nature at all.

_PurpleStarRedFireSparkle has changed her username._

DeathShriek: That's better.

_WonderBoySpandexSladeHunter has changed his username._

NotGayAtAll: Good idea, Star.

_TinManFootballSteak has changed his username._

TitaniumStone: Much better.

GreenElfAnimalComedian: Am I the only one who actually likes his name?

GothicBlackBirdEmo: This is pointless. Why the hell are we talking in a chatroom, of all places? We're living in the same tower. Can't we just talk in the OP? Oh, hang on…

_GothicBlackBirdEmo has changed her username._

DarkDarkDarkDarkDarkFun: Oh, look, I also changed my name. So fun.

_GreenElfAnimalComedian has changed his username._

MachoBeast: Check me out, dudes! Oh, and Raven, your new name sucks.

…

NotGayAtAll: Where's Raven?

DeathShriek: Dunno. Look! I used a new word I learned!

TitaniumStone: Good for you, Star.

…

NotGayAtAll: Where's Beast Boy?

MachoBeast: Hey. It's Raven. Unfortunately, Beast Boy has accidently fallen out the window and somehow decapitated himself, so he will be no longer available.

_MachoBeast has deleted his account_

DeathShriek: Something's fishy.

NotGayAtAll: You're supposed to say 'something's octopusy,' to keep up with your stereotypical bimbo alien appearance. Oh, and something seems weird with you. Something wrong?

DeathShriek: I refuse to participate in these menial charades any longer. From now on, I will put my impossibly intelligent side to use. Excuse me; I feel I must steal some Pizazzium Infanianite. Kudos to your keen observations. I mean that in the most sarcastic tone possible. Ta-ta!

_DeathShriek has logged off._

NotGayAtAll: Some what now? What just happened?

TitaniumStone: I think Starfire went to go steal some highly radioactive element that can destroy a whole country if exposed to oxygen. Something like that. I think she also insulted you.

NotGayAtAll: Oh shit.

_NotGayAtAll has logged off._

_DarkDarkDarkDarkDarkFun has changed her username._

Raven: Much more simple, isn't it?

_TitaniumStone has changed his username._

Cyborg: Yeah. Why didn't we just do this in the first place instead of using those lame aliases that caused identity confusion?

Raven: Fangirls.

Cyborg: Damn. Hey, you wanna just talk face to face? This is getting stupid. Why the hell did we sign up for AIM anyways?

Raven: Fangirls.

Cyborg: They're the root of all our problems, aren't they?

Raven: Yup.

_Raven has deleted her account._

_Cyborg has deleted his account._

SladeMaskNotAPedo: Bwahahaha…

AN: Next chapter will be on... um... sex changes!  
Don't forget to vote in the worst chapter poll or check out Garfield Logan: Always Available!  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	45. Everyone Had a Sex Change

AN: I don't know about you guys, but I never really understood the _point _of genderbent fics. I do like fanart of genderbent characters, but genderbent fics just never really made any sense to me. The most common seem to be "Revan/Beast Girl" or "Robyn/-insertwordhere-fire" fics.  
I was planning to put up this chapter tomorrow, but I got impatient. Silly me! And I still have a bunch of homework to do!  
10:52 pm: Nope. Still not done with HW. I am such a procrastinator... anywho, thanks to Star of Airdrie for pointing out the error near the end!

Everyone had a Sex Change

"Something's definitely off…" Revan said, examining her chest. Or should I say, _his!_ "I feel like I'm flatter than I should be, even though I never had much of a chest to begin with. And since when did the 'e' and 'a' in my name switch places?"

"Haha, boobies!" Beast Girl giggled, examining herself in a mirror.

"How the heck am I supposed to run with these stupid things?" Robyn complained, pointing at her breasts.

"What the hell?" Blazefire, or Boltfire, or Cometfire, or something equally lame, said. "I thought this was supposed to be a kids' show. Why are we making jokes referencing to breasts?"

"Dontcha know, dawg?" Cyborga said. The 'a' at the end of her name clearly converts it into a feminine form. Duh! Dis ain't no telly show. We's in a fanfic! There's all sortsa crazy dawgs out there!"

"You can quit with the stereotypical ghetto speech." Revan said monotonously.

"That's mildly offending." Cyborga frowned. For some obscure reason, she had dark curly hair on one side of her head, instead of being bald. She was also much slimmer and curvier like some sort of porn star. I mean, typical female.

Revan didn't look much different, except he was taller and was more square and muscular.

Blaze/Bolt/Comet/Asteroid/Sun/Mars/Inferno/Burnfire's hair was rather short, and instead of wearing some slutty whore outfit, he wore some sort of Tamaranean garb that the author is too lazy to describe.

Beast Girl was sexy. That is all.

Robyn, the 'y' making the name much more feminine, was also curvier and had long, long hair, making Robyn appear like a typical Mary Sue with badass martial art skills.

But no one knows that, so SHHHHH!!!!

The entire story proceeded to describe every single gender bent honorary Titan/villain/minor character, making the readers snore with boredom.

WAKE UP, DAMMIT!!!

"Bwahaha, Titans!" Hex, the sex-changed Jinx, said. "Even though my new male name is as lame and stupid as the new season of Ben 10 Alien Force, I still kick ass!"

Mammoth and Gizmo had no possible female alterations, so they were conveniently killed in some sort of plot twist earlier before.

"Titans, go!" Robyn screeched, attempting to adjust her sports bra, which was much to small for her.

"Yeaaaah boi!" Beast Girl cheered, turning into a rather busty lioness, mauling Hex with her nails.

"Booyah!" Cyborga yelled, blasting Hex with her sonic cannon.

"Salutations!" –Insert random word here-fire said, chucking a bunch of explosive starbolts at the villain.

"Meh." Revan muttered. In less than a few minutes, Hex was killed. I mean, put in jail. Yeah, something like that.

Then there was romance.

Or something like that.

Well, that was stupid.

AN: Yes, that was quite stupid, wasn't it.  
Next chapter will be on the magical wonders of bandz!!!omg!!!  
Just a reminder, poll for worst chapter is still open!  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	46. The Horribly Offending Musical Band

AN: I think I mentioned this before, but I don't really like it when people center their story around a song. I mean, I can handle it if they just inject a few lyrics at the very beginning, but when it becomes a drawn out songfic... shudder.  
We don't know what the tune is, dammit!  
Or... maybe I just don't like the songs themselves. Yeah. That's probably it. You'll see what I mean when the song in this chapter comes up.  
Last note: if you're a fan of One Piece, don't forget to check out my new OP drabble collection!

The Horribly Offending Musical Band

In a strange place called an Alternate Universe, there lived five normal teenagers. And even though this means that the story technically isn't about the Teen Titans, if you think about it, it has been categorized so, just for the hell of it.

"Hey, dudes, we should start a band!" Garfield said one day.

"But why?" Victor asked.

"Because, we're cool enough to do so!" Garfield said, flossing his teeth and reading his Calculus textbook.

"Sounds like fun." Dick said.

"Can we join?" Kory, or Kori, asked.

"Shore tang!" Garfield said.

"I'll be band manager." Rachel said in her monotonous voice of emoness.

"Alright! From now on, we are the Teen Titans, the possible name of our alter egos in some other universe that we shouldn't even know about!" Garfield said.

"Booyah!" Victor booyahed.

So Dick was playing guitar, coolest instrument EVAH, Victor was on drums, Garfield was playing that other guitar thingy, Kori, or Kory, was singer, and Rachel worked with that sound box thing that makes them sound good even though they really aren't…

SHHH!!!

They decided to play a horribly corny and inappropriate song, dedicated to every pairing there was in their little group.

_Kori, or Kory: We are in a baaaaand_

_Because we're all really great friends_

_Friendship and love and sparkly romance!_

_Chorus: Sparkle sparkle sparkle romance_

_Glitter glitter glitter friendship!_

_Drum solo_

_Kory, or Kori: The other day_

_I made out with Dick_

_Then we had some hot sex!_

_Even though one of us might have caught an STD!_

_Chorus: Sparkle sparkle sparkle romance_

_Glitter glitter glitter friendship!_

_Guitar Solo_

_Kori, or Kory: Then we heard some funny sounds_

_Coming from the closet_

_It turns out that it was Garfield and Rachel_

_Having secret sex!_

_Drum Solo_

_Kory, or Kori: Even though this song really sucks_

_And we shouldn't be singing about sex_

_It doesn't really matter_

_Because of our friendship!_

_Chorus: Sparkle sparkle sparkle romance_

_Glitter glitter glitter friendship!_

_Kori, or Kory: Then we all saw Victor_

_Making out with his car!_

_We were all really shocked_

_Except for Rachel, because she expected it all along_

_Chorus: Sparkle sparkle sparkle romance_

_Glitter glitter glitter friendship!_

_Kory, or Kori: Now I'm going to have a child_

_Who I'm going to name Mary Sue_

_Because she's obviously the product of some demented teenage girl_

_Though that doesn't make any sense at all_

_All: Yeah!_

"Well, guys, that sucked more than my mom's super sour lemon pie." Rachel said in her monotonous voice, taking off her earmuffs.

"I thought your mom was dead." Garfield said.

"Oh no he di'int!" Victor said.

AN: Oh yeah, I went there. Next chapter will be on...  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	47. How to Spell Beast Boy

AN: I was planning to put up another Slade chapter, but something came up.  
You know what ticks me off? When people write 'Beastboy' instead of 'Beast Boy.' It's TWO words, people. GET IT RIGHT.  
This chapter has a more serious edge to it.

How To Spell Beast Boy

Beast Boy lied on the couch, draped over the cushions and holding a hand over his eyes. A man in a white jacket anonymously named Dr. Doctor sat in an armchair by him, writing vigorously in a little notebook.

"And it's just been so hard, Dr. Doctor, you know? Being green. Because people are always expecting me to be environmentally friendly, just because of my color. It's racist!" Beast Boy sobbed.

"Well… technically, you do care for the environment, so there isn't anything wrong with that." Dr. Doctor said. "Now, listen, Beastboy-"

"What?" Beast Boy suddenly sat up straight, his face intent.

"I said, Beastboy-"

"No, wait, what did you call me?"

"Beastboy. That is your name, isn't it?" Dr. Doctor asked.

Beast Boy scowled. "Idiot. That's not my name. It's Beast Boy."

"That's what I said."

"There's a difference! The spelling! Spelling! Beast Boy is _two _words, NOT one!"

"I don't see how that matters much."

"You're the therapist! You should know!"

"Then why don't you sit down and tell me all about it, _Beast Boy_?" Dr. Doctor said.

"Thank you! So, people are always misspelling my name. They write it out as one word, instead of two. It isn't right! It's TWO separate words! It just bothers me so much!" Beast Boy slammed a fist in his hand.

"Mm hm. Go on. Go on." Dr. Doctor said, jotting down notes on the notepad.

"And then when the newspapers and magazines publish articles about us, they always spell the others' names right, but not mine! They even spell Starfire right, instead of Star Fire!"

"What about the time that one paper wrote 'Star-fire' with a hyphen?"

"Well, they were stupid. They're all stupid."

"That's not very nice."

"You're not very nice."

"Excuse me?"

"Excuse me?"

"… So, you were saying?"

Beast Boy leaned back on the couch. "And then, it's just so frustrating! Cuz my name is like my identity, you know? And when people misspell that, they're not respecting _who I am_."

"Listen, Beast Boy. Why don't you just tell everyone the correct spelling of your name?"

"Oh. I never thought of that before. Thanks, Doc!" Beast Boy got up and skipped out of the room, presumably to go shred some newspaper editors to ribbons. After a few seconds, Robin came in.

"Thanks for seeing me, Dr. Doctor." Robin said nervously, lying down on the couch.

"No problem, Robin. Now, why don't you tell me what's bothering you today?"

"Well, it all started with a bunch of yaoi fangirls…"

AN: Seriously, people. TWO WORDS.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	48. Starfire the Psychotic Murderous Stalker

AN: I think this was my favorite chapter to write so far. Seriously.

Starfire the Psychotic Murderous Stalker

"Hello, Boyfriend Robin!" Starfire said, grinning like she had several bodies in her refrigerator, which she probably did.

Robin ignored her.

"What? Did you say something?" he asked, turning around.

"Yes, I said hello, Boyfriend Robin!" Starfire said.

"Stop calling me that! I'm not your boyfriend, dammit!" Robin said, obviously frustrated.

"But, I'm saying Boyfriend before your name, so that obviously means…"

"No! No! Just because you're talking like some three year old with a 'friend' version of Tourettes doesn't give you an excuse to stalk me all over the place!" Robin said.

"Oh…" Starfire plopped onto the ground like bird crap. "But I got a T-shirt with us on it…" She held up a white shirt with a photo of a sleeping Robin, Starfire posing by him.

"Holy shit! You crazy stalker!" Robin smacked the shirt away, seriously creeped out.

"Wait! Boyfriend Robin! I also have made a delicious batch of brownies!" Starfire whipped out a tin of steaming brownies from behind her back. Robin wavered. He did love the sugary little fudgie things… they were almost as good as hairspray. He snatched one up and stuffed it in his mouth. Robin's eyes widened.

"Robin hungry!" he roared, stuffing the entire pan in his mouth. He swallowed.

"Did you like them, Boyfriend Robin?" Starfire asked eagerly, still grinning that I-just-killed-your-mother-and-possibly-your-great-aunt-too-but-more-likely-your-grandmother-because-they-sort-of-looked-the-same grin.

"Yeah, they were okay." Robin grunted, patting his fat tummy.

"My blood was in those brownies."

"WHAT?!?" Robin felt queasy.

"Now a part of me is a part of you… forever…" Starfire's psychotic grin grew larger. She held up a bandaged wrist. "It's almost like you had a transfusion… now I'm inside you, Boyfriend Robin. I'm a part of you! Part of you! Part of you!"

Robin's mouth hung open, and then he screamed. "OH MY GOSH!!! YOU'RE CRAZY! CRAZY!" He sprinted away. Starfire's cheerful laughter rang through the halls.

Raven came around the corner, Robin nearly running into her.

"Hey Robin. What's the rush?" Raven asked.

"Starfire's gone insane! I just ate her blood! Brownies!" Robin screamed. Raven tried not to laugh.

"Sure, Robin. Sure. I think it's time for your afternoon nap, isn't it?"

Robin pouted. "But I already had my nappy and my ba-ba of milk. I'm not tired!" A shadow flitted behind Raven. "Raven! Watch out!"

Oops, too late.

Raven blew up, demon guts spewing everywhere.

"She was in the way, Boyfriend Robin… Boyfriend Robin! Aaaahahahahasnortahahaha!!!" Starfire laughed maniacally. Robin screamed again and ran away. He looked behind him. Starfire wasn't there anymore.

"Shiiiiiiit!!!" Robin yelled all the way to the Operations Center. Cyborg was looking up fanart of himself on Deviantart.

"Yo! What's up with all these nude pics of me?" Cyborg asked indignantly. "I'm not wearing any pants in these pictures!"

"First off, you never wear pants." Robin panted, catching his breath. "Second, run! Starfire's going to kill you all!"

"What? You're crazy, Robin."

"No! Blood brownies! BLOOD BROWNIES!"

"…Yeah."

"Cyborg, duck!"

Too late, again.

Cyborg crashed through the window, hit head on by a very large bag of frozen burritos.

"Oh Boyfriend Rooooobin!" Starfire's singsong voice came through the open doors. Robin tried not to cry. "Boyfriend Rooooobin! I need to give you a kiiiissssss!"

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Robin muttered as he ran to Beast Boy's room. Beast Boy scrambled to shove some magazines under his bed as Robin barged in, slamming the door behind him.

"Uh… I wasn't looking at porn!" Beast Boy said nervously.

"No time for lecture on morals! Starfire's gone insane!" Robin began to pile porn magazines against the door, as if he hoped they would hold his stalker back. The pile reached all the way to the ceiling.

"Those aren't mine!" Beast Boy insisted.

"Oh Roooooobin!" Starfire's muffled voice reached their ears.

"Shhh!" Robin shushed, shoving Beast Boy behind his bed. He slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Roooooobin!" Starfire's voice drifted away. A few seconds passed. Robin relaxed.

"I think she's go-"

BLAM!

The door flew open, sending pictures of nude women flying all over Beast Boy's room.

"Those aren't miiiiiiiine!!!" Beast Boy screamed as he blew up into smithereens.

"Boyfriend Roooooobin!" Starfire sang. Robin threw a sock at her, momentarily blinding her. He ran out the room, and leapt out the window, landing in the water. Robin swam all the way to shore, soaking wet but very frightened.

"Boyfriend Roooooobin!" Starfire's voice drifted over from the island. Robin swore. He forgot she could fly.

How ignorant of him to forget that!

Robin sprinted into the streets, ignoring the stares of confused passerby. He could see the city limits. Once he reached there, he would probably safe, for no apparent reason. Just because it sounded cool, okay?

"Hello, Boyfriend Robin!" Starfire landed in front of him. Her head twisted 360 degrees around.

"Holy mother fudge!" Robin screamed, backing away. "Someone call the exorcist!"

"I loooove you, Boyfriend Rooooobin." Starfire grin reached her eyebrows. She held up her hands, which had blood all over them. And she lunged.

Robin's screams echoed all the way to the DC Universe.

"Did you hear something, Kory?" Nightwing perked up.

"Nah. It was probably just my psychotic alternate universe personality, murdering your alternate universe persona." Kory shrugged.

"Oh. Okay. Wanna go get some pancakes?"

"Sure."

AN: Don't you just love it when writers write Starfire as some obsessive stalker who's hellbent on making Robin hers?  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	49. Slade's Apprentice Fetish

AN: Attention all Mary Sue/Gary Stus! Don't forget, the one important element to your story that is absolutely _necessary _to have is Slade's obsession with making you his new apprentice!  
Yeah. How original is that scenario? (sarcasm)  
I'd like to take this moment to thank you all for your support. Because of all you people, I feel... acknowledged :D  
We're halfway to A THOUSAAAAAAND!!! Yeah!

Slade's Apprentice Fetish

"Ooooh yeaaahhh…" Slade moaned, watching the TV. "Yeaaaahhhh."

"Sir, if I may, what the hell are you doing?" Wintergreen asked.

"Watching the Apprentice." Slade said.

"You're fired!" said Donald Trump.

"Nooooessss!" said the gullible sap.

"Ooohhhh yeaaaahhhh." Slade moaned again.

"Sir, why are you moaning rather erotically?"

"Didn't you know? I have a fetish for apprentices."

"But, the Apprentice isn't technically…"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing, sir."

"Oh, and I need to go find a sixth apprentice later."

"Sixth? Who were the third, fourth, and fifth?"

"Raven, Starfire, and Beast Boy. I managed to brainwash them, but they somehow broke the spell with their stupid sparkly friendship." Slade scowled. He moaned again as Donald Trump fired another three people.

"Why not capture Cyborg?" Wintergreen asked.

"Nah. He's weird. So, you know any vulnerable teen that might be interested in becoming the apprentice of a pedophile?" Slade asked.

"Well, there _are _a numerous amount of Mary Sues and Gary Stus running about leftover from Chapter 9. Perhaps you could kidnap one of them?"

Slade looked out the window. Indeed, dozens of beautiful and angsty boys and girls were running around, sobbing about their angsty childhoods and meditating to keep their destructive powers under control. Slade closed the curtains and shook his head in disgust.

"All I see are a bunch of Raven-wannabes."

"Very well put, sir."

"Thank you, Wintergreen. Now, if you'll excuse me…" Slade turned up the volume of the TV.

"You're fired!" Donald Trump said.

"Noooooeeees!" yet another poor sap sobbed.

"Ooooohhhh yeaaaahhhh..." Slade moaned.

AN: After seeing numerous stories with "now Slade wants Mary Sue to be his new apprentice ohh nooooes" in their summaries, Slade has become a rather boring character for me. I'm sad :(  
I've never actually watched the Apprentice before, so spare me.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated!


	50. My First Disclaimer!

AN: Holy crap. 50 chapters. Woah.  
To celebrate the 50thversarypalooza, I've decided to write a completely crack-filled-self-insertion-cameo-fourth-wall-breaking-sugar-fueled chapter. Hooray!

My First Disclaimer!

"Well, here we are." Robin said, sighing. "The last chapter."

"Since this is the final chapter to an epic novel of epic proportions, I feel I needed to make a cameo appearance." Amethyst Turtle said, somehow getting into a fictional universe with her three… I mean two bare hands. She scratched her armpit. "Oh wait, it's not the last chapter. It's only the 50th! Silly me!"

"WTF?" Beast Boy said. "How did you get in here?"

"I used THIS!" Amethyst Turtle held up a sock with a cute panda stitched on it.

"…Yeah." Cyborg threw Amethyst Turtle out the window. The Titans listened for the satisfying splash as the author fell into the ocean.

"I don't own you guuuyyys!" Amethyst Turtle screamed as she slowly drowned, even though she knows perfectly well how to swim.

How strange.

"Whatever did she mean?" Starfire asked.

Everyone ignored her.

"What?" Robin turned around. "Did you say something, least-popular-character?"

"No." Starfire hung her head in shame and walked away.

"SO, ANYWAYS, I think that Amethyst Turtle just made her first disclaimer." Raven said wisely.

"Holy-wowzers-jowzers-yowzers-genies-cheese-sporks-Costco-cake, Raven!" Robin said in amazement.

"What?" Raven asked curiously.

"Your voice! It isn't monotonous or dull or bored or unexciting or dreary!" Cyborg said.

"Oh yeah, huh. I guess the Thesaurus Meyer Syndrome finally wore off." Raven scratched her head. "Anyways, as I was saying, Amethyst Turtle didn't have ANY disclaimers in the past 49 chapters."

"How odd. You would think that she would remember something as basic as that." Robin mused.

"Dudes! Quit hogging my screen- er, pagetime!" Beast Boy yelled, shoving Cyborg aside rather rudely.

Somewhere down below, a head plastered with sopping wet hair popped out of the water.

"I still don't own you guys!" Amethyst Turtle yelled. She sunk below the water again.

"Well, that was rather odd." Raven said.

"May I come back in?" Starfire asked from the doorway.

"No. Nobody likes you, and all you do is provide comic relief whenever any bit of standard Earth culture shows up." Cyborg said, making grotesque faces at her.

"I… will take that as a compliment." Starfire exited the scene again.

"Still don't own you!" Amethyst Turtle screamed as an ocean fart propelled her out of the water. Seriously. A pocket of methane gas had slowly rose from the ocean floor, creating a bubble that made the water

"BORING!" Beast Boy snored, interrupting the educational lecture on ocean geography.

"I'm alive!" Amethyst Turtle landed on the carpet, albeit on her head. "And I think I got some brain damage! Dah dah dah dah!"

"Spider!" Cyborg shrieked. He began smashing a chair on Amethyst Turtle. The other two looked at him in shock. He shrugged. "I don't like spiders…"

"That… isn't a spider." Raven said awkwardly. "It's a human girl."

"Oh. Woops." Cyborg tossed the chair aside and yanked Amethyst Turtle to her feet. "Up you go, leetle girl!"

"You're mean. And I still don't own the Teen Titans." Amethyst Turtle sniffled, her head slightly bleeding. She ran up to their giant TV and began spitting on it. "Ptoo ptoo!"

"Shouldn't we stop her from ruining the screen?" Raven asked as they stood and watched her.

"Nah. We'll just make her clean it all off later." Robin waved his hand.

"_Now _may I come back in?" Starfire asked.

"Okay!" Amethyst Turtle yelled. "Ptoo ptoo!"

"Hooray! What is your name, where did you come from, what is your favori-"

"SHUT UP! Can't you say ANYTHING else besides those STUPID MARY SUE questions?!?" Amethyst Turtle screamed, kicking Starfire in the shin.

"I'm going to have to agree with her on that. You always ask the same questions. It gets really boring and tedious." Robin said, throwing a fork at Starfire.

"Well, it is all I ever get stuck with. No one has any sense of originality these days." Starfire said, pulling the fork out of her ear and rubbing her bruised shin.

"You got that right, bitch!" Amethyst Turtle knocked over the fridge, sending moldy crap spilling all over the carpet.

"Yo! Why're you trashing our tower?" Cyborg yelled.

"Because I don't own you guys, so I'm not responsible for any damage done to you, obviously!" Amethyst Turtle said, setting Raven's cape on fire.

"Oh shit!" Raven began running in circles. Amethyst Turtle laughed and clapped her hands as Raven tripped and began rolling around.

"Augh! It buuuurns!" Raven screamed in agony as the flames burned her corpse-like skin.

"See there? That's some originality. I bet only one or two people have ever used 'corpse-like' to describe Raven's skin." Amethyst Turtle said proudly.

"Do you hate Raven, or something?" Beast Boy asked, stamping all over Raven to put the flames out.

"NO, OF COURSE NOT! EVERYONE loves Raven!" Amethyst Turtle rolled her eyes. "Seriously, though. Even though I'm one of your fans, your popularity is getting overrated."

"Then why am I abused so often?" Raven scowled, getting back up and shedding her skin, revealing a new layer of unblemished corpse-like skin underneath. Beast Boy rolled up the burnt shell and pocketed it.

"I'm gonna wear this on Halloween! It's gonna scare the bajeebers out of everyone!" Beast Boy grinned. He was suddenly crushed by a very large pineapple that fell out of nowhere.

"HAHA! I don't own you, so I am UNTOUCHABLE!" Amethyst Turtle laughed.

"Enough with the disclaimers!" Robin yelled, smacking Amethyst Turtle with his bo-staff.

"I think that you are… a Mary Sue. And your cameo appearance has gone long enough." Starfire gripped Amethyst Turtle's neck.

"I-I don't own you guys-"

Starfire ripped of Amethyst Turtle's head with one clean yank.

"That was troublesome." Starfire wiped her bloody hands on Robin's cape. Robin slapped her. Starfire slapped him back. A cat-fight ensued.

"Woooo!" Beast Boy wooooed.

Raven slapped him.

"This is getting nowhere." Cyborg said. He pulled down a large screen out of nowhere, abruptly ending the story and-

AN: Oh yeah. I went there.  
Next chapter will be the remade A Very Crummy Christmas, since most of you agree that it's the crappiest chapter I've written. I agree. It sucks like hell.  
But, I'm going to leave it up for no particular reason. Tah-lah!  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	51. Everyone's True Sexuality

AN: Hooray! Instead of focusing on crack pairings, I've decided to make fun of everyone's sexuality.  
Oh, and don't forget to check out Garfield Logan: Always Available! Chapter 6 (or was it 7) is up!

Everyone's True Sexuality

Robin stood in front of his teammates, a solemn look on his face. He had summoned them (as in, "COME, MY MINIONS!!!") to the OC, as he said he had a very important announcement to make.

"What's up, Robin?" Cyborg asked impatiently. For the past hour, Robin had been standing silently, mulling over his angsty life and all the drama there was.

"I… have a confession to make." Robin said, looking to the side.

"You're gay." Raven said bluntly.

"Close! But no." Robin nodded and shook his head. "I'm…"

He paused for dramatic affect.

"Trisexual."

Silence.

"Dude… is that even possible?" Beast Boy asked.

"I thought that humans only came in two genders. Oh! This is too confusing!" Starfire pulled out her travel-sized handbook on humans and began flipping through the pages.

"It's true. I, Robin, the Boy Wonder, am a trisexual." Robin said, sighing.

"What's the third wheel?" Raven asked.

Without answering, Robin picked up Silkie, who had appeared out of nowhere, and began making out with the silkworm with a fiery passion.

"Oh." Raven said, not very surprised.

"Wait! After searching through my Handy Dandy Guide to Humans, I have concluded that Cyborg is a dodecasexual!" Starfire said, beaming proudly.

"Gasp! How did you find out?!?" Cyborg pointed a finger at her accusingly.

Starfire giggled shiftily.

"Dude! _Dodeca_sexual?!? …What's that?" Beast Boy asked.

"Dodeca is twelve." Raven answered.

"How the hell is that possible?" Beast Boy began tearing his hair out.

"Let's see… girls, guys, my car, the toaster, the microwave, the blender, the oven, the fridge, the TV, the computer, my iPod, and the remote control. Those are my twelve lovers." Cyborg said dreamily.

"Come, Silkie! Let us elope to PARIS!" Robin tucked the gurgling worm-creature thing and dashed out the door.

"Do not forget to feed him!" Starfire called after him. She sighed happily. "They are so cute together."

"Hey Starfire. Guess what." Raven said.

"Yes?"

"I support yuri!" Raven tore open her cloak, revealing a T-shirt underneath that read 'Lez-B-Friends!' on it.

"Oh. Well, I guess that I do too!" Starfire said cheerfully. She and Raven linked arms and skipped away, probably to go do whatever lesbians do.

"Robin is trisexual, you're dodecasexual, and Star and Rae are lesbians. Then… what am _I_?" Beast Boy said dramatically, staring up at the ceiling.

"I dunno. Go ask someone else. I'm busy!" Cyborg said, making out with the remote control. He cuddled the remote to his cheek. "I love you so, my petite bonbon!"

"Okay!" Beast Boy skipped away to go find an epiphany.

And so, Beast Boy embarked on an epic journey to discover his true sexuality. After several days of hiking through swamp, forest, grassland, snow, and several layers of pasta noodles, Beast Boy finally realized what he truly was.

"Duh! Why didn't I figure it out before?" Beast Boy smacked himself. "I'm asexual!"

And with that, Beast Boy had several children with… himself?

How disturbing.

AN: Next chapter will be on... something. I dunno.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	52. The Shittiest Story You Will Ever Read

AN: Ugh. My humorous gland is shriveling up. I just don't feel so... funny anymore. Funny as in 'Ha ha!', not funny as in 'peculiar.'  
Have you ever come across one of these types of stories?

The Shittiest Story You Will Ever Read

It was Starfire's birthday omg it was lyke it was soooo cool. "I love you Starfire marry me I love you." Robin said. "Okay I love you too you're really hot." Starfire said sexily. They made out. "I love you a lot." Robin said. "I love you too." Starfire said. Then they had birthday sex.

Hear r teh song lyrics that inspriried me to rite dis pwnzors 1shot!

_I love you_

_You love me_

_We are one big family_

_With a bunch of hugs and blah blah blah blah blaaah_

_I love you and you love meeee._

OMGZ I'm not gonna update unless I get a bunch of reviews!1!! Review!!zomg!! Or else I'll kill my story!twomillion!1!! Srsly!!! TTLYBRBLOLROFLWTF!!1! Blaaaaaah!!!zucchini!!1!

AN: And that's how the cookie crumbles, or whatever.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	53. My SEXY SelfInsertion

AN: Haha, I totally forgot I wrote this about a month ago. I was looking through my hardrive and BAM! This thing came up.  
I was originally planning to post this as a separate story... what do you think?

My SEXY Self-Insertion

So, one day, I, Amy, was just sitting around in my house, doing nothing, even though I was supposed to be doing homework. But whatever. I'm too cool for school, anyways.

Being the cool person I was, I was watching Teen Titans even though that show was so five years ago. My parents were somewhere… I dunno. They aren't very important, anyways.

Then, the TV started glowing! Instead of calling the cops or throwing some fruit at it, I decided to touch it. Because I'm smart like that. The TV sucked me inside. It felt like reverse childbirth.

When I woke up, I was sitting in some animated park in an animated world. I was also animated. But wait! Let me take the time to describe myself, before we continue with this pointless story.

My obsidian black hair shines like a silky waterfall, cascading down my perfectly straight back. I have rich, creamy skin that puts Ghirardelli to shame. It's perfectly unblemished and my legs are smoother than a baby's ass. Speaking of my legs, they're like two graceful twigs, because I'm skinny but not anorexic. I have the figure of a lady-dancer. And even though I eat a lot, all the nutrition goes to my breasts. They are so big that I invented a whole new bra size: 99 cm quadruple D!

My eyes are almond shaped and exactly one and three quarters inch in width and an inch in height. I don't have to wear mascara because my eyelashes are naturally thick. They're so thick and long that I can play baseball with them. Not really though. The whites of my eyes are like the bright side of the moon, which only accents my beautiful irises. They change color according to my mood. When I'm calm, they sparkle like the surface of a pure blue-cerulean-sapphire ocean. When I'm angry, they flare up into a furious scarlet-reddish-crimson that can scare the bajeepers out of anyone, including my mom. When I'm sad, my eyes dull down to a calming shade of green-emerald-verdant that makes the rainforests of the Amazon look like flower shit. My eyes are so beautiful, that they can turn stone statues to life. They're like the antidote to Medusa's stone glare.

Now, my eyebrows are a whole other story. No one can compare to the soft lines of hair above my stunning eyes. I've never had them trimmed because I don't need any of that salon crap. When I'm surprised, they arch curiously into two perfectly semi-circular… arches. When I'm angry, they furrow cutely together but not too close. Because if they did, it would look like I have a unibrow, and that would be just gross. The soft down of my eyebrows matches the shade of my midnight black hair and they go perfectly well with my gorgeous eyes.

My nose is like a button. Many people have complimented my adorable nose. I've never had a zit or a pimple, and I've never had to use any of that Claritin junk or whatever you commoners use. The bridge of my nose curves gently down to the tip of my nose. It's like a graceful slide.

My lips are like two soft, fluffy pillows of cotton candy. They are plump and beautiful, and every guy and girl I've met always drools when they see my lips. They aren't too big, and they aren't too small. I can do a really mean pout, too. No one can resist the pout.

I was wearing this really cute sparkly blue top that totally complimented my eyes and hugged my curvalicious figure. It was embroidered with tiny sakura blossoms exactly two centimeters in diameter each. Below that, I was wearing my 99 cm quadruple D bra. It was black and lacy and totally not slut-like. I was wearing a ridiculously short skirt that stopped just a few inches below my waist. It's a deep purple like the purple in the evening… or something like that. Anyways, my skirt is made of the finest silk and has this really cute swirly pattern on it. On my feet, I wore these sexy black high heels that absolutely killed my toes. But it didn't matter, because fashion over comfort! Socks are for losers, so I wasn't wearing socks. I was also wearing some bracelets on my left arm and this beautiful diamond-sapphire-ruby-emerald pendant around my neck. They symbolize something. I don't know what, though. Whatever.

Overall, my beauty is incomparable. I make Aphrodite look like a man. Every girl I meet turns lesbian all because of my sexiness. Every gay guy that catches a glimpse of even my petite feet turns straight. But no. I have no romantic interest in anyone, because I was abused, traumatized, and molested when I was a child. I angst a lot.

Did I mention I'm about 14 years old? No? Well, now you know.

So, anyways, back my story.

I stood up in the park, brushing dust off of my ridiculously short skirt. For some reason, I just knew that I was in the Teen Titans universe. I'm just smart like that.

Then, this really creepy pedophile wearing a mask ran up to me.

"You! You will become my new apprentice!" he yelled. It was Slade.

"But why?" I asked, backing away.

"Because I have nothing better to do!" Slade said, pushing me rather rudely.

"SLADE!" Robin came swooping in. The other Titans followed behind him. "You're not getting away!"

It was totally an original line and not cliché at all.

Slade laughed evilly and began to fight the Titans. He kicked their asses.

"Oh no! We are being beaten!" Starfire said, stating the obvious.

"Whatever shall we do?" Raven asked.

"We are hopeless!" Cyborg wailed, stuck in a tree where Slade had knocked him into.

"Dah dah dah!" Beast Boy drooled. You know, because he's an idiot and can't do anything else besides crack jokes and obsess over tofu.

I'm not making assumptions, or anything.

"SLADE!" Robin yelled again, struggling to get back on his feet. Slade laughed and kicked him the crotch, causing Robin to shriek an octave higher than he normally should and curl up into a ball.

That was the last straw. I powered up my hands, which glowed all the colors of the rainbow. I could feel the glorious energy surging through me. Then I fired all my lazors, blowing up Slade into smithereens.

"Whoa! How did you do that?" Robin asked, awed by my awesomeness.

"Hi, Robin. Raven. Cyborg. Beast Boy. Starfire." I greeted them coolly.

"Gasp! How do you know our names? NO ONE should know who we, the city's famous heroes who live in a giant phallic-like T, are!" Robin gasped.

"I know things." I said mysteriously.

"Whoa. Even I am intrigued by your mysterious demeanor and coolness." Raven said monotonously.

Monotonously.

"Hello! What is your name, what is your favorite color, how did you get here, and will you be my friend?" Starfire rushed up to me, asking these totally original questions that she never asked anyone else before. NEVER.

"Amy, purple, this portal in my TV, and sure." I said coolly.

Starfire proceeded to squeal happily and hug me rather tightly.

"Amy, huh? With powers like yours, you have to join the team!" Robin said, handing me a yellow communicator.

"Does this come in purple?" I asked jokingly.

Everyone laughed at my hilarious joke.

"Hahaha!" they all laughed.

Raven took us back to the tower.

"Amy! Play video games with us!" Cyborg said. Beast Boy was trying to chew on his controller.

"Okay." I said suavely.

We played a bunch of Zelda, and Mario, and Pokemon, and all my other favorite games that no one probably cares about. I beat the boys in all of them.

"Whoa! You're so good at this!" Cyborg said in awe as I kicked his ass in a pokemon battle. My level 100, shiny, hacked, and EV-trained Arceus killed his entire team in less than a minute. Beast Boy's too.

After we played video games, Raven let me come with her to her room, because I was her special new friend who she totally trusted.

"Amy, you should meditate with me so you could learn to control your powers like I do." Raven said monotonously.

Monotonously.

"Okay." I said in a tone as monotonous as hers.

And so we sat cross-legged side by side, humming incantations. I could feel my rainbow energy flowing through me. It was like being high… I think.

After I meditated with Raven, Starfire got me to go shopping with her.

"New Friend Amy! You must try this on!" Starfire said, talking like she normally does. She was holding out this skimpy black dress with lace.

I tried it on.

"New Friend Amy! You look Exy of the Sex!" Starfire said happily, buying everything I wanted even though she had barely enough money.

I wasn't being a bad friend, or anything.

"Thanks for the clothes." I said all bored-like as Starfire carried all my purchases as we flew back.

Did I mention I can fly? No? Well, now you know.

After I convinced Starfire to store my purchases in her room (I think she also became a lesbian at that moment) I went off to find Robin.

"Hey! Amy! Come train with me!" Robin smiled.

"Okay." I said. He took my hand and led me to the training room.

"We should wrestle, because that totally wouldn't be awkward!" Robin said.

"Sure." I said.

So we wrestled. I was beating him. Then we both realized that I was on top of him. I slowly took off Robin's mask. He didn't protest.

We stared into each other's eyes, blue against blue. I could practically feel the love emanating from him. Then we kissed.

"Oh, Amy." Robin sighed.

Yup. It was official. Robin and I were officially a couple.

A few minutes later, the six of us were gathered in the OC.

"I think that Amy needs a cool hero name to go with her awesomeness." Robin smiled, holding my hand. Starfire and Raven were jealous, but not of me. They were jealous of Robin, because they were attracted to my sexiness.

"I will be called… Shadow Heart Icy Tears of the Flaming Angel Crystalline Eternity!" I said dramatically.

"Whoazers! That's too cool for my idiotic mind to comprehend!" Beast Boy yelled, his empty head inflating.

Then the alarm rang. My first mission!

Some minor villain was making trouble at the bank. Maybe it was Gizmo. Or Mad Mod. Or Mumbo Jumbo. Whatever. The point is, it was a villain. And he (or was it she) kicked the other five Titans' sorry asses.

"Shadow Heart Icy Tears of the Flaming Angel Crystalline Eternity!" Robin whispered hoarsely, lying on the ground. He was bleeding.

"I'll save you." I said coolly. I blew up the minor villain with my rainbow powers.

"Friend Shadow Heart Icy Tears of the Flaming Angel Crystalline Eternity!" Starfire gasped, still talking like she normally does. "That was glorious!"

"I know, right?" I chuckled.

We all went back to the tower to celebrate. Robin asked me if I needed an outlandish uniform similar to how everyone else was wearing Halloween costumes, but I refused.

"I can fight perfectly well in my sparkly top and ridiculously short skirt and pointy heels." I said.

"You should be the leader!" Cyborg said, groveling at my feet.

"No. I'm not interested." I said bored-like.

"How modest!" Starfire squealed, preparing all sorts of Tamaranean shit for me.

"Everyone could learn from her." Raven said monotonously.

"Where would we be without you?" Robin wondered, massaging my (sexy) shoulders.

"In hell, that's where you would be." I said.

Everyone laughed at my hilarious joke.

AN: Can anyone guess where Amy's superhero name came from? Heh heh heh...  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	54. LEAVE SLADE ALONE!

AN: Thank you, snowman1989, for giving me the idea for this!  
For those who couldn't figure out how I got what's-her-face's superhero name in the last chapter, look at this.  
**S**hadow** H**eart** I**cy** T**ears of the** F**laming** A**ngel** C**rystalline** E**ternity  
You get it? Yeah, it's lame -_-

LEAVE SLADE ALONE!

Amethyst Turtle adjusted the webcam on her computer. She dabbed on a little more blush and applied an extra layer of eyeliner around her… lips? You can't blame the girl, though. She's never worn makeup before. Taking a deep breath and holding back the tears of anger, she flicked on the webcam and began her rant.

"How dare anyone fucking make fun of Slade, after all he's been through! He lost his soul to a demon, the FBI is after him, and now he has a bunch of crazy teenage heroes after his head!"

"All you people care about is depicting him as a pedophile for a little sexual arousal! He's a human, too! Just a genetically enhanced human being!"

"What you don't realize is that Slade is only trying to destroy the city and all you do is write about how he enjoys fucking small children. He hasn't been seen in public for years. His favorite song is called "Gimme More" for a reason because all you people want is more more more more yaoi lemons! LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

Amethyst Turtle dabbed away a few tears and smeared more lipstick around her eyes, and more eyeliner around her lips.

"Some dude talked about professionalism, and said that if Slade was a professional he would have pulled it off no matter what. Speaking of professionalism, when is it professional to mistake a super-villain as a pedophile when all he's doing is murdering a bunch of innocent people? LEAVE SLADE ALONE! PLEASE!"

Amethyst Turtle was sobbing uncontrollably by then.

"Leave Slade alone right NOW! I MEAN IT! Anyone who has a problem with him, you deal with me, because he's trying to hide from those damn yaoi fangirls right now. LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

Angry tears poured down her face.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

Meanwhile, in some isolated underground cave, Slade did a facepalm after watching the video that was posted on Youtube.

"Would… would you like more tea, sir?" Wintergreen asked. Secretly, he was annoyed that this Amethyst Turtle person never mentioned him in her video.

"No." Slade stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go snap a certain little girl's neck into six pieces."

AN: Woohoo! That was fun.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	55. The New SuperPwnzors Generation

AN: Another suggestion from snowman1989.  
I personally thought that I did a mediocre job writing this. Just something to fill in the time, I guess. Meh.

The New SuperPwnzors Generation

"Well, it's official." Robin said for possibly the fiftieth time in this story. "We're too old to be Teen Titans."

They were somewhere in their early twenties, except for Beast Boy. He's the baby of the group.

"What do you mean, too old?" Raven asked in her usual monotone voice.

"Look at us! We're in our twenties, and more healthy and fit than ever before! We're _obviously_ too old to be the _Teen _Titans, now!" Robin said, pinching his flab-less abs. "Look at all this fat!" He leaned over and pinched Starfire's arm. "Look at that! Look at that fat!"

"I find that mildly offending." Starfire said, jerking her (not) flabby arm away from Robin's pinchy-fingers.

"Booyah!" Cyborg said. You know, because he's never too old to say that.

"So what will we do now?" Beast Boy asked.

"Well, first we should establish the pairings." Robin said thoughtfully. He grabbed Starfire and began making out with her. Beast Boy and Raven kissed each other too. Cyborg made out with a pie tin. "Okay, now that that's taken care of, we need angst. Take it away, Starfire!"

"Oh no, why friends, why?!?" Starfire wailed, sobbing. "Why must we separate? Why, why? I do not wish to leave! Please! Why must we separate, friends? Nooooo!"

"Nice acting." Raven said.

"Thank you." Starfire smiled.

"Woosh. That was hard work." Robin said, even though he didn't do anything worth squat. What is worth squat, anyways?

…

Moving along.

"Okay, so we have the pairings, and the angst taken care of. Now we need to find some replacements. Lucky for us, I found the _perfect _Sue-author to whip up our newest trainees." Robin said.

Indeed. A Mary Sue-creator had been hired to design the NEW (Ba dum bum!) Teen Titans, much to everyone else's annoyance.

"OMG lyke hai gaiz!11!" the Sue-thor squealed. "Lyke, I ttly came up w/ dah KEWLEST teem evah!!!!111!!"

First up was Lance Draco Dragon Flames, Robin's replacement. He was basically like Robin, except he was part dragon and was super SEXAY.

Next was Shadow Darkness Monotone Bird, Raven's replacement. She looked exactly like Raven, except with longer hair and without the built-in PMS.

Sun-Moon-Earth-Ice-Dark-Sky-Fly-Shy-Lie-Die-Piefire was to be Starfire's replacement. She had rainbow hair and rainbow clothes and rainbow powers.

Next was Techno Advance Micro Chip, a teenage cyborg that was totally cooler and more technologically advanced than Cyborg.

Lastly was Dan, Beast Boy's replacement. He's basically a generic Gary Stu named after the Sue-thor's "TTLY sexors and hawt boyfriend!!11!"

"We'll leave things to you guys now." Robin said, still making out with Starfire. He was also taller than her.

For. No. Apparent. Reason.

So the original Canon Titans left, leaving the corrupt team of Mary Sues and Gary Stus to eventually destroy the city and attract a horde of flamers screaming at the author to go get a life.

AN: Don't forget to check out Garfield Logan: Always Available! Chapter 9 is up!  
Reviews and suggestions will be greatly appreciated.


	56. It's Always Nevermore

AN: By popular demand, here's a Nevermore chapter.

It's Always Nevermore

One day Raven decided that she loved Beast Boy.

Sure, he annoyed the hell out of her and constantly made her feel like she was the ass of his lamest pranks, but she still loved him.

You know, because I SAID SO.

So Raven was hiding behind the counter, watching Beast Boy and Cyborg arguing over tofu like they did every other hour.

It was like a holy ritual, I guess.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh." Raven said MONOTONOUSLY, her heart pounding.

The changeling's emerald skin! His adorable little fang! His bright green eyes! His adorable ass! OMG!

Overwhelmed by Beast Boy's sexor charmz, Raven passed out. She found herself in her mind, where all her emotions were. They crowded around her and began arguing amongst themselves.

"You know you want to grab his tight little butt and-" Lust began.

"That is unnecessary. Do you _want _to catch an STD? I bet that algae-colored boy is crawling with them." Intelligence shuddered.

"But he's so dreamy…" Love said.

"Buuuurp." Stupid said.

"That's what she said!" Humor said.

"Let's go find Slade and beat him up!" Bravery said.

"I don't feel like it…" Sorrow said.

"Happy happy joy joy! Meow meow meow!" Joy sang, twirling around in circles.

"Come on, Raven, just go and fu-"

"This is a children's show! A children's show, dammit!" Intelligence cut off Lust again.

"But Starfire is so much prettier than us…" Envy said.

"Then go beat her up!" Bravery said.

"What's the point…" Sorrow began crying.

Lust began masturbating. Intelligence shoved her over the edge of the floating rock they were on, sending the emotion tumbling into whatever was at the bottom of Raven's mind.

"See you next FALL!" Humor began laughing maniacally and gave Sorrow a wedgie.

"Whaaaaa!" Sorrow sobbed.

"That's what she said?" Stupid looked at Humor hopefully.

"Yeah!" Humor laughed.

"I love Beast Boy…" Love sighed.

"I love kittens and rainbows and blah blah blabbity blah!" Joy spun around faster, whacking Intelligence in the face.

"What the hell?!?" Intelligence yelled.

Beast Boy and Cyborg watched Raven in shock. Her eyes were closed and she was screaming out gibberish, flailing around and yelling "That's what she said!" at the top of her voice.

"I guess we shouldn't have slipped her those pills you found in Starfire's room." Cyborg muttered to Beast Boy.

"I thought those were painkillers." Beast Boy shrugged.

Starfire flew in. "Friends! Have you seen my crack?"

"No…" Beast Boy looked to the side shiftily.

"But they were on my bed."

"That's what she said!" Raven giggled, running repeatedly into the wall.

AN: Moral of the story: never give Raven crack. Because if you do, Nevermore will happen.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	57. The Thing About DeviantArt

AN: You know what I hate about DeviantArt? I can't find _any _decent pictures of my favorite animated heroines. Sure, I can find all these badass artworks of my fav _male _characters, but for all the females... well, I think you probably get the idea.  
WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THOSE PERVERTED FANBOYS?!?!?!

The Thing About DeviantArt

One day, in a futile attempt to parody the parodies parodying her own parody parodying other parodies… or something like that… the author had Starfire inexplicably break the fourth wall and go on , the "kewlest webbie evah!!!1!"

And so Starfire typed in her name in the little search box, even though she's supposed to be too stupid to figure out simple Earth things like that.

Apparently.

The search results came up. Starfire began vomiting.

"Oh my gosh, that is disgusting!" Robin said, passing by. And no, he isn't talking about the search results. "Starfire, clean that up right now!"

"R-Robin, what in the name of uckinfay ellhay are those monstrosities?!?" Starfire exclaimed, pointing at the screen.

The vomit mysteriously vanished due to circumstances. Maybe it fell through a plothole. Who knows.

"…" Robin stared wide-eyed at the fanart of Starfire. His nose began bleeding.

But wait! This isn't a genuine Japanese anime, so that is impossible!

"Uh… those are nude fanarts of you…" Robin said.

"I am aware of that. I am not _stupid_, you know." Starfire said irritably, ruining everyone's previous delusions that she was a bumbling idiot.

"What's up, dudes?" Beast Boy popped up beside them. He looked at the computer screen and blushed. "Dude! Ah-ah…. Uh…. Dude!"

"Censor it! Censor it!" Robin cried out, slapping a black piece of paper over the screen.

"Why do you Earth humans draw me either naked and/or in a suggestive pose and/or wearing limited clothing resembling bits of string and/or with exaggerated-ahem- body parts and/or blown up immensely and/or with-"

"We get it! We get it!" Robin said, taping a piece of black paper over Starfire's mouth in a vain attempt to censor her naughtiness. Tee hee!

"I can answer that." Raven said in her MONOTONE, falling through the ceiling. "You see, you wear nothing but a very short skirt and this tiny little thing you call a halter-top. So, the internet perverts take advantage of that and- er- you get the rest."

"Let us see how they draw you, Raven!" Starfire tore the paper away and typed in "Raven" and clicked.

"Hm!" Raven said in satisfaction- uh, I mean, a MONOTONE. Most of the fanart of her showed her either angsting or about to angst, but no nude pics whatsoever.

"Why? Why? WHY?" Starfire yelled, banging her head on the table.

"Oooh! Look me up!" Beast Boy shoved Starfire aside and typed in the search. No nude pics. "Awesome!"

"Me next!" Cyborg searched himself. All the fanart of him were nude. "Man! That ain't right!"

"…You don't wear any clothes." Raven pointed out.

"But still! They could at least give me a pimpin' hat or something."

"WHY WHY WHY?!?" Starfire shrieked. Her head was bleeding.

"Censor censor censor!" Robin yelled, covering her with a large black sheet.

"Wait 'till you see the Starfire and Raven _bondage _fanart!" Beast Boy laughed. Raven glared at him.

"And how would you know about those?"

"Uh…"

Beast Boy ended up stuck headfirst in the wall.

Robin snapped his fingers. "Oh! I know why they only draw Starfire as some sort of sex doll!"

"Do NOT CALL ME THAT!" Starfire roared, shoving Robin over.

Everyone ignored her.

"What? Did you say something?" Robin stood up.

"…No." Starfire hung her head.

"Anyways, since Raven already has all the rated M fics about her, the fans all decided to be fair and give Starfire all the M rated fanart!" Robin smiled triumphantly.

Raven facepalmed. "That is the most idiotic theory I have ever heard."

Robin began crying and ran out of the room.

"That was mean, Raven. You're a BULLY!" Cyborg pointed accusingly at Raven.

"Hmph." Raven floated away to go cut herself and write depressing poetry.

"I feel the need to go tear several fanboys into shreds and hang their intestines throughout the city like you humans' festive holiday decorations." Starfire flew out the window.

Cyborg looked around. He was all alone.

"I feel so unloved…" Cyborg sniffled.

AN: Seriously. Do they really need to draw Starfire nude? Ugh... *shudder*  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated. We're almost to 700!


	58. Excuses Excuses Excuses

AN: I'm typing this in my current rather inconvenient position, which is in a smoggy city in some other country and the laptop is seriously burning my legs and it smells like cigarette smoke and I think I'm done rambling on about my own insignificant life...  
Forgive me if this chapter sucks.  
As a final note, I apologize to all the people who have PMed me and the to the stories I have faithfully been following every other day who I haven't had the chance to respond and review to.

Excuses Excuses Excuses

It was another normal day, or what you would call normal. Or if it were normal compared to things that were unnormal... wait, is that even a word?

Eh.

"Life is meaningless." Raven said, being her usual emo self.

The author decided to inject that little piece of OOC dialogue simply to take up space and make her story seem more "perfeshernal"

And then she decided to move along with the story.

A mysterious portal of EPIC proportions suddenly appeared out of nowhere. A few kids fell out of it, but their clothes and hair remained in their perfect gorgeous state either because they were Mary Sues or they used a LOT of starch and hair gel.

It was the hair gel. I think.

"Ohmygosh, we're, like, in the PAST!" one girl squealed. She had black hair and bright green eyes, and she was wearing a bunch of designer clothes and too much jewelry. Her name is, uh, Cometfire, because Nightstar is canon already.

"Dudes, you're like, right!" another girl giggled. She had purple hair and green skin, which made it look like she had contracted some gruesome skin disease and had gotten into some grape jelly. Her name is Opal, because that's the "purdyust naim evahz!!11!"

"Ugh, you guys are, like, getting on my nerves. Ugh." another girl rolled her eyes. She was the rebel of the group, accentuated by her black hair and bright purple eyes and gothic clothes with at least a hundred pounds of chains hung on her torn jean skirt. It was a wonder they didn't fall down. Her name is, um, let's see, Azarathmetrionzinthos, because the author didn't have enough imagination to think of anything else.

The three very Mary Sue-ish girls then all FLEW to Titans Tower, on some secret mission that was too obscure for ANYONE to figure out.

That's right, they can FLY. Did I mention that Opal has wings???

So the Titans were in the OC, doing whatever they did on their days. The three girls somehow broke into the Tower, using their super awesome skills of awesomness.

"Whoa! Who are you guys?" Beast Boy yelled, awed by their awesome awesomeness.

"I am clearly too idiotic to determine who you are, so I will... WHO WROTE THIS F***ING SCRIPT?!?" Starfire screamed, tearing a stack of papers into shreds.

"Starfire! The contract! The contract!" Robin hissed, kicking her in the shin. He cleared his throat and put on a big fake smile that made Demi Lovato look positively depressed. Negatively depressed, I mean. "Join our team, mysterious girls who I have never ever seen before!" He threw three communicators to them.

"You still don't know who we are?" Cometfire giggled.

"Gosh, you guys are idiots." Azarathmetrionzinthos scowled.

"We're, like, your KIDS!" Opal yelled, flailing her arms about excitedly.

"WHAAAA???" Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, and even Raven gasped dramatically.

"That's right! Robin, Starfire, like, you're my parents!" Cometfire shouted.

Robin passed out.

"I'm your daughter, Beast Boy and Raven!" Opal giggled.

"WTF?!?" Raven shouted.

"Robin, Raven, I'm the product of one too many beers." Azarathmetrionzinthos said angstily.

"WTFx2?!?" Raven shouted again.

Starfire and Beast Boy were screaming their idiotic heads off.

"Wait, wait, wait, I can explain all this." Cyborg suddenly broke into the story, though the author had mailed him off to Siberia in a large wooden crate filled with styrofoam peanuts earlier. Or so she thought. "You see, the author of this story is nothing but a raving lunatic who created these things. These... MARY SUES!" He pointed at the three girls.

"NOOOOO!!! OUR SECRET HAS BEEN REVEALED!!!" The three girls melted into a puddle of what vaguely resembled pickle juice.

"What just happened?" Robin asked as he came to.

"Cyborg, you are not dead!" Starfire said happily, hugging Cyborg. But, contrary to popular belief, she did NOT suffocate him NOR crush his ribs or something equally irritating.

"Please explain." Raven said, edging away from the puddle that used to be her supposed children.

"You see, this world is plagued by pairing wars." Cyborg said wisely, pacing back and forth. "No matter how many people use their sense and intelligence to squall just a little of the chaos, there will always be pairings. Most of these are caused by the collision of rabid fangirls. These mighty powers were never meant to come in contact. The rabid yaoi fangirls only make things worse."

He paused to light a cigar. Cyborg took a puff, only to cough loudly. He threw his cigar at Starfire.

"Anyways, when these fangirls clash, terrible things are awoken. Terrible beasts, that were meant to remain in the crevices of hell. Those are the things that arise from the fangirl battles." Cyborg pointed at the puddle. "Mary Sues."

"You're boring." Beast Boy said.

"AS I WAS SAYING." Cyborg said loudly, shoving Beast Boy over. "The Mary sues carry out the fangirls delusions of pairings. They are naught but excuses to bring we, the characters together, in pairings that may never happen."

"But we're canon." Robin pointed out, pulling Starfire to his side.

"Ooooh. Contradiction." Raven smirked.

AN: Yup. Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	59. I NEED MORE REVIEWZ 1!

AN: Compared to my other chapters, this one sucks donkey hooves.  
Hm, I need more self-confidence.  
Oh, and thanks for all your support guys! GE has officially reached 100 faves! Yayzors!

I NEED MORE REVIEWZ!!1!

OMG, so like the other day I was with my BFFLZOMGWTFBBQ L'Shan'iq'a'shina'shonda'shunda, and we were all talking about MOI love life, and I was all like no way and she was all yeah he did and I was like jello! And we were giggling and stuff cuz I was sooooo funny cuz it was really random and stuff and then we saw this ttly kewt dude and I was all like hi and he said hi and it was so awesome…

Oh, and you gaiz, I need more reviewz!!!1! I'm running outta ideaz!!11! Nuuuus!!11

I'm not updating until I get 135,351,468 more reviewz!!!1!

*135,351,468 angry reviews later*

OMG thx for da revoos u gaiz even tho they told me that I suck I'm soooo happy cuz I got reviewz!!11! So here's da story!

Robin looked at Starfire. "I love you, Starfire."

Starfire squealed happily and dove into his arms. They began making out.

Raven and Beast Boy made out, too.

Cyborg was making out with What's-her-face Bee.

And my two OCs who no one gives a shit about were kissing too.

The end.

Now I need 456,227,925 more reviewwwwz!!!1!

AN: Nah. Personally, I didn't like this one. You know why? I typed it in about 30 seconds. A NEW RECORD!!!  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	60. Bold Italicize Underline Blah

AN: Inspiration and motivation is slowing down. Like molasses. Or something like that.  
Have you ever seen a story in any of these formats?

Bold Italicize Underline Blah

**"Hey, guys, what's going on?" Beast Boy asked. "Everything's in bold font."**

**"Shut up, man! You're breaking the fourth wall! Remember when Robin was given a ticket for that?" Cyborg hissed, smacking Beast Boy. **

**"Psh. Cops are such ameteurs." Robin pshed. **

**"We're straying from the subject. Why, exactly, are we in bold font?" Raven asked MONOTONOUSLY (how overdone!) **

**"I blame the writer." Starfire said. She suddenly remembered something "Oh, also, friend!" **

**The Titans continued to argue about the mysterious bolded font, which ended up with Beast Boy throwing tofu at everyone and Cyborg crying uncontrollably.**

**Then the author suddenly realized she forgot to edit her story, so she went back and got rid of all the bold font.**

"Oh, look, we have appeared to be fixed." Starfire said, pummeling Beast Boy into the wall. "Friend!" 

"That's what he said!" Beast Boy laughed. "Oh, wait, that's not right..."

"We aren't fixed. We're underlined now." Raven said, irritated. "Which doesn't really make much of a difference. 

"Well, I think it's better than being bolded." Cyborg said. 

"I'm bored." Robin sighed. 

After recieving another rather irritated review, the author went back to fix the font after sobbing into her pillow about how everyone was out to flame her.

_"Seriously?" Robin groaned. "What's up with the author now?" _

_"Well, she's not an adult so that's apparently a legitimate excuse to have bad writing style." Raven rolled her eyes. "I've seen three year olds who write better than her."_

_"I find that offending." Beast Boy frowned._

_"I wasn't talking to you. And, no, I do not have hidden feelings for you that will suddenly burst out of me in a dazzling display of fireworks, sparkles, and a musical number that no one can hear." Raven scowled. _

_"Hee hee! Fangirls are so amusing!" Starfire giggled. _

_"Oh, god, bad memories." Cyborg groaned, kneeling over in pain as a flashback of angry Twilight fangirls beating him up with their hardcopies of their books came to mind. _

_"It's gonna be okay, man. It's gonna be okay." Robin patted his back comfortingly, sniffling. _

_The author, after recieving a polite notification of the unecessary italicizing, wrote an angry author's note accusing everyone of being heartless asses who were mean and flamed too much. And she tried to fix her writing._

"We're fixed! Yes!" Beast Boy whooped. Robin frowned. "Wait, something's off," he said. "Oh! Crap! All our dialogue is smushed together so no one can read it!" "What?" "Starfire, is that you talking?" "No, it's Raven." "But who said what?" "This is so hopeless." "Dudes! I can't tell who's who!" "That's what we're all complaining about, Beast Boy!" "I am quite confused." "So am I, Star. So am I." "Someone needs to knock some sense into the author." "But it would be child abuse." "That's different." "Felony?" "What?" "Oh my god, stop talking! If you keep talking, all our dialogue will only add to the big fat eyesore of a paragraph!" "What?" "Shut up! Just shut up!" "Robin, but-" "Stop talking, dammit!" "Jeez, Robin, calm down." "How can I calm down when the idiot of an author is making a mockery of our awesomeness?!?" "That's what flames are for." "But they only make her cry." "That's not our problem." "You're so insensitive..." "ME?!?" "Yes, you." "SHE'S the one who screwed up all our dialogue and font!" "Robin does have a point." "Thank you, Star!" "That was me." "Who?" "Cyborg." "And I am over here!" "Starfire?" "Yes!" "No." "Huh?" "What?" "I'm Raven." "Beast Boy, stop pretending you're me." "What?" "Who?" "Beast Boy!" "Huh?" "Shut up!" "Raven, was that you?" "Who are you?" "Robin." "Starfire." "Beast Boy." "Cyborg." "Beast Boy. Beast Boy. Beast Boy. Bea-" "SHUT UP, BEAST BOY!" "My god, this is hopeless." "You already said that." "Who's gonna tell? No one can even read this. It's too smushed together." "This is so amusing!" "Starfire, no. It's not funny at all." "Beast boy!" "What?" "Huh?" "Who?" "Where?" "What?" "No!" "Yes?" "Gah!" "Huh?" "Who-" "SHUT UP!"

"Freedom!" Robin gasped, escaping to his own paragraph.

"No! Don't leave me here with them!" "What?" "Beast Boy, quit it!" "This is so confusing." "Will y'all shut it?" "No!" "Who was that?" "Raven." "Beast Boy! Don't accuse me!" "Raven." "Gah!"

Raven used her super gothic emo powers of doom to break free of the dialogue mess. Starfire followed suit. Cyborg managed to crawl out after her, leaving Beast Boy all alone in the dialogue mess.

"Hello?"

Robin, Starfire, Raven, and Cyborg silently tip-toed away.

"Hello?" "Is anyone here?" "Hellooooo?" "I'm lonely." "Does anyone have food with them?" "Hellooooo?"

AN: Not much to say.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	61. Author Notes

AN: Yeah, I know I did the "AN in the middle of the story" thing in my earlier chapters. But I was still new to the site, and didn't know better. Gosh, I was stupid.

Author Notes

Robin walked down the hall. (AN: OMG that totally reminds me of that time I was walking to my bedroom then my hairy Chihuahua named Roberto Gonzales Chiquitita Burro ran in front of me then I fell over and split my skull in two!!! I had to get a ton of staples and glue!!! Hot glue!!!)

He was looking for Starfire. (AN: Hee hee he's so silly like can't he just use his locater thingamabobathing to find her?!? So silly!!!)

Because he was in love with her. (AN: Like it's OMG totally canon so back off you RobRae freaks!!! RobStar 4evah!!!) So he wanted to go tell her that he loved her. (AN: Isn't that the greatest reason ever?!?)

Robin knocked on Starfire's door. (AN: Like that time I knocked on my brother's door then he threw a book at me and I got a papercut on my tongue! I had to get stitches! And staples! And glue! Hot glue!!!)

"Yes, FRIEND ROBIN?" Starfire called through the door, somehow knowing that it was Robin outside her door and not any of the other Titans. (AN: Starfire SO DOES talk like that so shut up Amethyst Turtle! You're just a jealous bitch cuz I write better than you!!!)

"Uh-ga-ba-I-uh-ma-" Robin stuttered, blushing and rocking back and forth on his heels nervously. (AN: OMG isn't Robbie so CUTE when he stutters like that?!? But he DOESN'T stutter for anyone else! Only Starfire! RobStar 4evah!!!) "Well, St-Starfire, u-uh... I... I- l-LOVE YOU!"

The door swung open, and Starfire stood before Robin. Her emerald green beautifoo eyes were sparkling, glimmering, shining, twinkling, glowing, and shimmering all at the same time. (AN: Becuz she's so PRETTY, duh! Isn't she pretty?!? ISN'T SHE?!?)

"I love you too, FRIEND ROBIN!" Starfire said loudly. (AN: Because she's also an idiot, duh! Every person that isn't American is an idiot obviously! Including my parents who immigrated from Antarctica! They're idiots too!)

"Let's go on a date!" Robin said excitedly. (AN: OMG why didn't they go on a date during the series?!? Is it becoz there was a RobRae freak in the animation staff?!?)

So Starfire put on a bootifoo sparkly red purple pink yellow orange dress and Robin put on a sexifoo tuxedo that made him look really sexifoo. (AN: Don't they make such a sexy couple?!? DON'T THEY?!?)

Then they went on their date. (AN: I'm too lazy to write out the details. Boo you.)

Then they kissed. (AN: SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!)

Then they had a baby. (AN: Her name is Jasmine Sapphire Courtney Dawn Angel Diamond Ruby, and she is not a Mary Sue! She's me, in self-insertion form! And that is not a Mary Sue!)

Then we all lived happily ever after. (AN: Oopsies, did I say we? Hee hee, fourth wall broken! Hee hee, I am so naughty! Weeeeee!)

AN: The end is near.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	62. TT High School and Jerikolide

AN: There's two chapters in this one, since the second was waaaay too short to be its own chapter. So I crammed it with a poorly written high school cliche I already took care of several months ago.  
I remember the night Teen Titans first aired on CN (which has the stupidest shows today. Toonami was the best, then they had to go and cancel it after more than _eleven _successful years). My brother and I were so hyped up for it and begged our mom to let us stay up late so we could watch the premiere of the first episode. Then when the first shots of the Hive trio came on, my mom looked at us and asked, "_This _is what you were so excited about?"  
Ah, a trip down nostalgia lane. I'll stop babbling now.

Teen Titans High School

"Salutations! I am Kory, or Kori." Kory, or Kori said. "And I am a preppy foreign strange naïve ditsy busty girl!

"Yo. Victor Stone here, dawgs!" Victor said, waving his wannabe bling around. "And I'm one of da jocks of da school, so y'all better bow down to my BEEFINESS! And my pimpin' car."

"Dude! Dude, I'm, dude, Garfield, dude." Garfield duded. I mean, said. "Dude, I'm, dude, the, dude, class clown, dude, and, dude, I'm, dude, so, dude, funny, dude! Dude!"

"… " Rachel, or Raven, Roth glared at the fourth wall. She was really pretty too, but she angsted too much. Which made her sort of a canon sue.

"What's up?" Dick waved. "I'm the 'normal' one of the group. See, we have some foreign prep, a beefy jock, a dude-obsessed-dude-obsessed-with-duding-at-dudes-who-dude-a-lot, and a PMSing canon sue! I guess I can be a jock too, though."

Then the five of them went off to discuss their schedules and classes for an entire chapter, also while making fun of some wannabe outcast named Terra, or Tara, behind her back.

"Hur hur hur she's so stupid." Victor snickered.

"And a total byotch." Rachel, or Raven, said. The author went to punish herself for writing a-sort-of-half of a swear word, because Mommy told her to never cuss.

After dunking her head in a bucket of gasoline and throwing a lit match in it, the author decided to update. In the next chapter, they met some girl named Jennifer Hex.

"My name isn't Jennifer, dangit!" Jinx yelled. "My real name was never revealed, so just SHUT UP!"

She stomped away. Wally West sprinted after her, demanding loudly that she go on a date with him.

"Jennifer! Wait!" Wally yelled.

"FRICKEN CRAP IT'S JINX."

"Which rhymes with stinks! Dude!" Garfield said stupidly. Everyone crammed him into a locker for telling such an awful joke.

"I am still unaware of your many American-ly cultures, so I will proceed to make every conversation awkward!" Kori, or Kory said. Everyone stopped talking and stared at her. "I have succeeded! Buwahahaha!" Kory, or Kori, ran away, tossing confetti and popcorn left and right.

"FUTBOL, LOLZORS." Victor drooled. He tramped away to the football field to go shove some lowly freshman into the school wood-chippers.

"Kory, or Kori! Wait! We have to go out!" Dick called.

"The author said this would be a RobRae fic." Rachel, or Raven said in an incredibly ORIGINAL and AMAZING monotone.

"Oh. Seriously?" Dick groaned.

"Yup." Raven, or Rachel said.

"...Wanna go help out at the soup kitchen?"

"Sure."

"Hooray for being good role models!"

* * *

AN: I don't have anything against this pairing. I just don't really get it, is all. Did they have a relationship in the comics? Because _that _would explain it.  
... the title is a pun. Jerikole... Collide... get it? Eh... I just pulled a Beast Boy. *facepalm*

Jerikole-ide

Kole looked at Jericho. They were both in Titans Tower, or their own Tower, or whatever. Maybe they're even at McDonalds. Who knows?

"Hi. I'm Kole. Wanna make out?" Kole asked.

Jericho nodded.

They kissed.

It was an official Jerikole moment.

Then they went out to go find Argent and Hotspot to play match-maker.

* * *

AN: The end draws closer.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	63. Robin and Raven and Puppies, Oh My!

AN: How did people get the idea that Robin and Raven have a mind connection from the episode "Haunted"? All she did was enter Robin's mind briefly, something she can do with anyone. Remember in "Titans Together" when she entered Plasmus to put him to sleep? So that must mean she and Plasmus have some sort of special connection!!1! PlasmusxRaven 4evah!!1!!zomg!!  
About the puppies... I was just in a puppy mood, okay?

Robin and Raven and Puppies, Oh My!

Raven was reading a book. As usual. She was so into it her face was smooshed against the pages so she couldn't even read the print. But it didn't matter, anyways, because the paper smelled nice. Like incense and mothballs.

Robin walked into the room carrying a box of puppies. The puppies were yipping and demanding that the strange traffic light man let them go freeeeee into the wild. Robin stared at Raven, who was inhaling the scent of the book, and walked up behind her. Wordlessly, he picked up a puppy from the box and dropped it on Raven's head.

"Aaaaah." Raven yelled in a monotone. "What the hell?"

The puppy proceeded to take a piss on her hood. It barked loudly and jumped away, presumably to hunt down Beast Boy and eat him alive.

"Hey, Raven. Since we have this MIND CONNECTION, I read your mind and heard that you like puppies. So here." Robin plucked another puppy out of the box and dumped it on Raven's lap. It tore out several pages from Raven's book and swallowed them.

"Get off!" Raven grabbed the puppy and flung it out the window.

"YEEYEEYEEYEE!" The puppy yipped as it fell thirty stories down to the ocean.

"Raven! How could you be so heartless?!?" Robin gasped, holding a hand over his –snort- _bosom_ in shock.

"I don't like puppies." Raven gritted through her teeth. "I prefer TEAAAAA."

"Oh…" Robin looked away dejectedly. Raven sighed and resumed to sniffing her smelly book.

Several seconds later, Robin dropped another puppy on Raven's head.

"YIPPOYIPPOYIPPO!" the puppy yelped, messing up Raven's SEXALICIOUS hairdo. Raven grabbed the puppy and chucked it across the room. It landed on its feet, miraculously, and ran away.

"What's your problem?" Raven glared at Robin.

"I READ YOUR MIND!" Robin whispered loudly, glancing around nervously. "SINCE WE HAVE A MIND CONNECTION AND STUFFS!"

"I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT PUPPIES, YOU MORON!" Raven whispered loudly back.

"But I HEARD it, in your MIND!" Robin said. "See? I'm reading it now. You want another puppy."

He dropped a puppy on Raven's face. It began scrambling around, scratching her PALE and ASHEN skin, nearly gouging out her eyes.

"YOOPYOOPYOOPYOOP!" the puppy yipped as Raven yanked it off of her and punted it away with her… moccasin. It is a moccasin, right?

"WE DON'T HAVE A FREAKIN MIND CONNECTION!" Raven shouted, breaking her monotone she had so carefully maintained all her life.

"But what about that one episode where you entered my head…?" Robin whimpered.

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE A CONNECTION!!!" Raven screeched. She grabbed the box of puppies and threw it at Robin.

"YOYOIYOYOIYOYOI!" the puppies barked, chomping on Robin.

"GAAAAH!" Robin screamed, running out the room with several puppies attached to his face.

"Finally…" Raven looked at her book for a moment. She shrugged and swallowed it whole.

It tasted like incense and mothballs.

AN: No puppies were harmed in the making of this chapter. Robin was, though. He had to get stitches.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	64. Raven the Pimp

AN: For a brief glorious period of a few days, I had my inspiration back. Then a bunch of stupid tests and projects drove it away. Which is why this chapter isn't up to my normal standards, so sorry for the disappointment.  
So... yeah. Raven is paired up with so many guys, I just had to make this, even though the last chapter already had her in it. Now I probably look like one of those Raven fangirls.

Raven the Pimp

Raven sat on a sparkly purple couch, surrounded by many boys.

"O'Colorful one, go get me more tea." Raven said lazily, waving her fancy teacup around (with her pinky out!).

"Right away, m'lady!" Robin crawled away to make more tea.

"O'Smelly one! Rub my feet!" Raven demanded, propping up her feet on her footstool (which was Slade kneeling down).

"Cucumber Melon or Cherry Blossom?" Beast Boy asked, holding up two lotion bottles.

"I told you! Cucumber Melon on my toes, and Cherry Blossom on the soles of my feet! Idiot!" Raven smacked Beast Boy with her mildewy book of pure Raven-ness.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Beast Boy cried. He set down to rubbing Raven's feet with scented lotion.

"O'Fishy one! O'Fatty one! Fan faster!" Raven said irritably.

"My arms... I can't feel them..." Aqualad panted, waving a tennis racket at Raven.

"Wussy." Cyborg snorted, fanning Raven with a flimsy napkin.

"As a suggestion, m'lady..." Speedy said meekly. "Perhaps o'Fishy one and o'Fatty one should use proper fans instead of a tennis racket and a napkin..."

Raven suddenly stood up and glared at Speedy. "YOU DARE DEFY MY ORDERS, O'SLUTTY ONE? GET BACK TO WORK!"

"Y-yes m'lady." Speedy continued mopping the floor with a paintbrush.

"Is o'Awkward one back yet with the packages?" Raven asked.

"Nope." Cyborg said, still waving the napkin at her.

"Hmph. O'Pedo one! Stop sagging your back!" Raven said, kicking Slade's ribs.

"Yes, m'lady." Slade said, adjusting his shoulders so he would be a better footstool.

"Your tea, m'lady." Robin bowed, offering a teapot to Raven.

"Exssssellent." Raven hissed. "O'Sparkly one! Pour me more tea!"

"M'lady, why is my name the 'o'Sparkly one'?" Red X asked as he poured some tea into Raven's fancy teacup.

"DO NOT QUESTION MY WORD, O'SPARKLY ONE!" Raven barked. "O'FISHY ONE! FAN FASTER!"

"I-I'm tr-trying..." Aqualad panted, waving his arms faster and faster but with no effect.

"Gah! You're useless. O'Slutty one! Switch jobs with o'Fishy one!" Raven ordered. Aqualad sighed in relief and began cleaning the floor with the paintbrush (which only had about three hairs in it) while Speedy began waving the tennis racket at Raven.

"M'lady... I'm out of lotion." Beast Boy said meekly, holding up the empty bottles.

"Hm, yes. My feet are quite moist and hydrated now." Raven said approvingly. She stuck her feet in front of Slade's mask. "O'Pedo one! What does thou think of my feet?"

"They smell like Cucumber Melon and Cherry Blossom. M'lady." Slade said hastily.

"Very well. O'Smelly one, you may leave and be a nuisance elsewhere." Raven said. Beast Boy obediently left. "O'Colorful one! Go throw Sharpies at Starfire!"

"B-but why?" Robin cowered.

"Because Sharpies are really hard to wash off! Wuahahaha!" Raven laughed. Robin shrugged and ran off.

"O'Sparkly one." Raven turned to Red X. "Go do my laundry." Red X left to go wash Raven's unmentionables.

"M'lady! I have returned!" Kid Flash zipped into the room, carrying a little box in his hand.

"About time, o'Awkward one." Raven rolled her eyes. She reached for the box. "Gimme!" Kid Flash handed her the box and she ripped it open. "Yessss... my new iPod!"

Then she listened to a bunch of emo and goth bands that the author likes but no one else gives a damn about.

AN: Yessiree, Raven is certainly a pimp. I promise the next chapter will have either Cyborg or Beast Boy, becuase I've been neglecting them. Gah, I'm horrible.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	65. Beast Boy's Beast of Beastliness

AN: There's a reason why I haven't visited the Teen Titans archives in a couple weeks. I see the quality of proper capitalization and spelling going down, the quality of reviews going down, even the quality of summaries going down. Where's the originality? For those few precious gems shining through the fangirl vomit... I commend you.  
Go ahead and yell at me. Yell at me for being picky. Yell "DONT LIEK DONT REED U BICH!" Yell at me for having expectations that are waaay too high. I won't mind. It'll just prove how low the standards of good writing have gone.  
And there's the reason why I've been spending less time with the Titans. I'm sorry, everyone.

Beast Boy's Beast of Beastliness

Beast Boy was walking around the tower when SUDDENLY that inner beast dude from that one epic episode started to talk to him. Creepy, huh??omg??

"Beast Boooy. Beast Booooy." the Beast growled from within Beast Boy.

"Agh! Dude! I thought I got rid of you two seasons ago!" Beast Boy jumped, slightly startled.

"Beast Booooy. I will take over your boooody." the Beast growled.

"... That's just creepy, dude." Beast Boy shuddered.

The Beast suddenly managed to briefly gain control and take over Beast Boy, in an eerily similar plotline to Naruto.

Plagarism!

"Oh, Beast Boy." Raven sighed, sitting by herself in the Operations Center in a fort she made out of her book collection. "Even though I hardly expressed any loving emotions to you in the show, I just suddenly realized how much I love you! I love you silliness, your sexiness, your beastliness..."

Raven bit her lip and sighed again. "Your radiant shining beautiful sexy erotic emerald hair, your shimmering shining glinting emerald eyes... and that sexy little ass! Oh yeah!" Raven snapped her fingers then suddenly remembered she was supposed to be angsting.

"But I cannot ever tell you that I love you, for that would be breaking the rules of the Holy Cliche Romance! Nooooo!" Raven wailed. She grabbed a book and began giving herself many paper cuts, since there wasn't a razor with her.

And that's why she always has a book with her.

To cut herself. Yeah.

Meanwhile, the Beast and Beast Boy were having an inner conflict.

"I WILL EET ALL YO FRENDS!!!1!" the Beast roared, trying to turn into his beastly form that resembled a creature ripped off from Neopets.

"Nooooo!" Beast Boy continued fighting him. It. Her. Whatever. "Why are you doing this?!?"

"BECOZ IM EEVIL APPARENTLY!1!1" the Beast roared.

"Oh. Okay." Beast Boy nodded. "GET BACK IN MY HEAD, BEAST!"

About one hundred chapters of pointless arguments and angsty debates later, the Beast was finally put down and Beast Boy regained control of his body.

"Yay! I'm one hundred percent Beast Boy again!" Beast Boy cheered.

"Beast Boy!" Raven came running around the corner. "I love you and your sexy little ass! Kiss me!"

"I will!" Beast Boy and Raven began making out passionately.

Then they had a baby.

The end.

***

AN: I've read it on someone's profile before... the Beast isn't evil. He's just instinct. He never hurt any of the Titans and he tried to protect Raven. So where did people get the idea that he's a rip-off of the Nine-Tailed Fox from Naruto?  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	66. The Love Trapezoid

AN: I'm TRYING to write a one-shot to prove I'm not going to give up Teen Titans entirely.  
I have no idea where Generic Exaggeration is going to go... please let me know if the funny is dying so we won't have to suffer anymore.  
I'm not aiming at anything in this chapter. It's just pure random.

The Love Trapezoid

Okayz, so, liek, my name is xXravenlookalikeXx, and dis is mah first story!11!

Mah name ish xXravenlookalikeXx becoz I lok just liek her!! I even talk liek her and speek like her adn were JUST LIEK SOUL SISTAS!!1!

Anywaysh, dis story ish about Raven and Robin and Starfire and Red X in a love trapezoid! OMG I spelled it rite!!

(The author says she can't bear to write like that any longer so the rest of this chapter will be... coherent).

One day Starfire was walking down the hall.

"La la la I'm an alien la la la." Starfire sang, crashing into a wall multiple times.

You know, because she's dumb.

THEN she saw Robin and Raven MAKING OUT in the middle of the corridor!

"Eeeek not-my-friend Robin! Not-my-friend Raven! HOW COULD YOU?!?" Starfire sobbed. She flew out the window, donned a dramatic cape the color of darkness emo ebony midnight, and became a villain for no good reason. All in three seconds. A record time!

"What was that?" Raven looked up.

"I think that was Starfire." Robin scratched his head. "Why were we making out? We don't even lov-"

"SHUSH! The fangirls are watching, you dumbass!" Raven hissed, slapping Robin.

Meanwhile, Starfire had murdered half the city population, robbed a hundred banks, and helped Sarah Palin rise to power (no offense to any Republicans out there). In other words, Starfire was being BAAA-A-AAA-AD.

While Starfire was busy trying to unjam her dramatic cape from where it got stuck in a window, Red X found Starfire. I mean, Darkfire. Badfire. Whatever.

"Heeeey, cutie." Red X said.

"You REALLY need to get a new pickup line." Starfire scowled, somehow speaking normal. Maybe it had something to do with the fact she was evil.

"Okay." Heeeey sexy." Red X said.

"Works for me!" Starfire squealed. She jumped into Red X's arms and Red X, somehow being able to fly (in the author's fangirly imagination), flew off into the sky all cool and stuff.

It was really cool.

Meanwhile, Robin and Raven were out looking for Starfire.

"There you are!" Robin and Raven said, finding Starfire and Red X, conveniently saving the reader from four more chapters of pointless searching.

"AWMYGOD! Red X, what are you DOING with that SKANK?!?" Raven shrieked. "I thought we had a THING going!"

"What? Since when?" Red X asked irritably.

"Since Vegas!"

Red X grabbed Raven. "WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS! DON'T YOU KNOW THE SACRED RULE?!?"

"Starfire! I suddenly realize that I love you!" Robin cried.

"But I cannot choose between not-my-friend Robin and not-really-my-friend-but-not-my-enemy-at-the-same-time Red X!" Starfire cried, torn between the two sexy dudes.

"And I can't choose between these two emo bombs waiting to blow up!" Raven said.

"But then... the only solution will be..." Robin said, realization dawning upon him.

"SLASH PAIRINGS!" Red X declared.

Red X and Robin skipped off in a trail of sparkles and rainbows, arms linked together. Starfire and Raven flew off to moan about their angsty lives and emo-ness of ebony darkness.

Seems kinda reverse, doesn't it?

***

AN: ...  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	67. A Terra bashing Story

AN: Thanks to those who told me to stop. Truth be told, I'm a bit unnerved by all this positive feedback... e_e

A Terra-bashing Story

One day Terra was walking down the park. She had been resurrected due to a poorly planned plot that contaned many plotholes. And potholes.

And THEN lighting blew down and struck Terra right in the head. Zappity zap zap!

"Ow!" Terra said, rubbing her smoking hair. "That was totally random and uncalled for! But, oh well, I bet nothing like that will happen again."

An airplane flew by and dropped a grenade on Terra.

"Ow! That hurt even more than that previous incident!" Terra said, somehow alive though half her arm had been blown off.

Then a bear that had escaped from the zoo ran up to Terra and chewed her leg off.

"Rrraawwr!" the bear roared, running away with Terra's leg.

"Hey! Gimme that back!" Terra yelled, trying to hop after it.

"Join the liberation! AIEYEEYEEYEE!!" some politician yelled, running up to Terra and knocking her over. He then proceeded to kick her repeatedly in the ribs. "FREEDOM FOR ALL! AIEYEEYEEYEE!!" The politican ran away.

"What is up with all these random and painful events that clearly have no purpose other than to hurt the crap out of me?!" Terra asked to no one in particular, trying to pull herself back up with one arm since the other one had been halfway blown off.

"Oh, hi Terra!" Beast Boy jogged up to her. He helped her up to her feet. Foot, I mean. "Did you know that today is the anniversary of the day you betrayed us all? But it's cool, because we all forgave you. Except for the Terra-bashers. Anyways, I'd better get going soon. I'm late for an appointment with the Queen of England. Ta-ta!" Beast Boy jogged away.

"That explains so much!" Terra smacked her forehead. "Why didn't I see it before?"

Then a car ran over her.

"BBxRAE 4EVAH, BIZNATCHES!" the adolescent girls in the car shrieked, flipping Terra off as they drove away.

"How rude!" Terra said, brushing herself off. She began to slowly drag herself along until a crevasse opened up in the ground, swallowing her.

And that was the end of that.

**

AN: No... I guess I really should stop writing these. Now it's all slowly degenerating into random. Random. Random.  
Just to clarify, I don't have anything against Terra. I'm neutral about BBTerra and BBRae- I support neither.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	68. Super Special Season Six

AN: There is a spark of inspiration. Actually, there _was_. Then it died. It was quite sad, really. One Piece is devouring what little motivation I have left for Teen Titans.  
I feel so empty inside ._.

Super Special Season Six

After the last episode of Teen Titans aired on the telly, thousands of angry fans stampeded over to Cartoon Ne- oh, I mean, _CN_ headquarters to express their utmost anger and... angst...

"Sorry, we're on a pot break." the executive what's-his-face said, taking a long drag on his cig. Which explains all the live-action ripoffs of existing shows airing today.

"NUUUS! BRING BACK DA TITANZ!1!!" the mob of angry fans screamed, attempting to climb the building and break in, eerily similar to one of those zombie horror flicks.

But, sadly, they were forced to return to their fangirl caves when their hands started bleeding from grabbing onto the rough cement.

Really, what were those architects thinking?

Anyways, in one last fatal attempt to resurrect Teen Titans, an online petition was started.

People were urged to sign it via capsrape, copy-and-pastits, and good ol'fashioned begging.

It didn't work. Surprisingly.

And thus the fangirls turned to the magical sparkle-dazzle world of fanfiction!

_-Play theme song here, or something like that-_

"Oh my gosh! We're back on the air!" Robin said excitedly, running into Titans tower. Because this was Season Six, romance was absolutely necessary so Robin grabbed Starfire and they began making out passionately.

"Hooray!" Cyborg cheered. "Oh, uh, I mean, Booyah!"

"Beast Boy! I suddenly realized that I have a schoolgirl-crush on you!" Raven blushed in a monotone (somehow). "Kiss me, you fool!"

"Very well!" Beast Boy said, suddenly spurting up two feet and his voice deepening to a sexy Discovery Channel narrarator voice. Raven and Beast Boy began making out with a fiery, monotonous passion.

Whatever that means.

"Uh... what's-her-face-Bee! We're both black! Let's go get some KFC!" Cyborg said to Bumblebee (who was in the tower without any reason). No one bothered to tell the author that she was blatantly stereotyping African Americans, so it was aaaaaall coooool.

Then there was more romance.

And some crap about Slade and Terra, which were recycled plots from Seasons 1 and 2, which that, in turn, is just a recycled joke from one of my earlier chapters.

Then there were sparkly self-insertion children, all of whom were female for some mysterious reason that was unfathomable to anyone (not like anyone cared, though...).

The end.

***

AN: We need to face the facts- there's very little chance of the animators deciding to make a sixth season for Teen Titans. After all, "CN" is too busy with ripoffs of Ghost Adventures and Survivor that involve teenagers that don't even know what they're doing. Though... the Othersiders is okay. Sort of.  
I miss Courage the Cowardly Dog... T_T


	69. Poetry Session

AN: Since I've recieved so many death threats from readers telling me not to stop, I guess I won't. Updates will be sparce, though.  
So, the future chapters starting from this will just be random crack. Y'know, since there aren't any more cliches to bash.  
*faceplant*

Poetry Session

"Oh, my angsty past wallows so ferociously within my tortured soul." Raven wailed, waving her arms about. She suddenly hunched down and held her cape in front of her face. "And yet there is the eye of the hurricane. The eye, you say? The eye of my ANGUISH!"

Raven stood up and stretched her fingers to the ceiling. "My anguish... the darkness consumes my crimson teardrops. The darkness, which _destroys_ the beautiful light of what left is my heart... my heeaaart... HEART!" Raven lowered her arms and bowed.

"Nice, Raven!" Robin nodded approvingly. The four Titans snapped their fingers. Beast Boy took a sip from his cup of tea.

"My turn!" Starfire chirped, bouncing out of her seat. Raven sat down next to Cyborg and stole a cookie from Robin.

"Ahem." Starfire cleared her throat. She closed her eyes and leaned back. "The eternal despair of bottomless hope, that tears at my delicate soul... a bottomless hole, that eradicates everything I HOPED FOR. A fox. A fox, that eats the bear. The bear, that is eaten by the prey. Predator is prey. Prey is predator."

Starfire began shrieking. "AND WHEN THE PREY IS PREDATOR... the world comes to _end_. _END_."

The Titans snapped their fingers. Raven stole another cookie from Robin.

"I thank you all for your support!" Starfire said happily, floating back to her seat.

"Ooh! Ooh! Lemme share my poem!" Beast Boy pulled out a rumpled sheet of paper from his pants (seeing as he had no pockets...) and leapt to the makeshift stage made from a bunch of cereal boxes stuffed with styrofoam peanuts. Beast Boy smoothed out the sheet and took a deep breath.

"Our world so evilly corrupted by the dark tendrils of our merciless hands. The world slowly chokes on its own polluted saliva-"

"Wait, _what_?" Cyborg said.

"Oi! Wait your turn!" Beast Boy said angrily. He cleared his throat. "_As I was saying_, the world chokes on its own polluted saliva-"

"Seriously, _saliva_?" Robin said.

"Hey! Whose poem is it?" Beast Boy said.

"Saliva isn't a term normally used in dark poetry." Raven said, snatching a cookie from Robin's hand.

"... jeez, everyone's a critic." Beast Boy muttered, stepping off of the stage. He ate his poem.

"Alright. Cyborg, it's your turn." Robin nodded. Cyborg shrugged and walked up to the spotlight.

"This is a poem dedicated to all my byotches out there. Peace out!" Cyborg flipped all of them off. "Alright. Here we go."

"THE CRYSTALLINE TEARS THAT FLOW DOWN MY FACE...!" Cyborg boomed. He lowered his voice and dropped to one knee. "Tears, that are birthed by the sorrow of my shattering soul. A crow pecks at the eye of my confidence, devouring everything that I had left in this empty life. EMPTY LIIIIIFE... empty life." Cyborg stood back up and spread his arms wide. "My heart! Heart, for the taking of greedy hands! I only ask, that you handle it carefully. I. Am. Delicate."

Cyborg paused and fell to his knees. He covered his face with his hands. "_Delicate_."

"That... was so _beautiful_." Robin sniffled. He suddenly clutched at his mask. "Ah! Dammit! My tears are trapped inside! Auuuugh! My eyeees!!!" He stumbled up and ran away. No one bothered going after him.

"Great job, Cyborg." Raven frowned, since that was her way of smiling. I think.

"I think I got this whole angst thing down." Cyborg grinned.

"I suggest we have more poetry sessions in the future?" Starfire asked hopefully.

"We _should! _Except you guys need to be more open to NEW IDEAS about choice words." Beast Boy glared accusingly at Cyborg. Cyborg shrugged.

"MY EYESSSS! THE SALT BUUUURNS MY EYES!!!" Robin screamed from down the hall.

"That... is the best poem yet." Raven said in awe.

"Agreed." Everyone else said.

***

AN: Robin's mask defies all laws of logic.  
Fave'n'runners and Sub'n'runners will be shot on the spot.  
Naaaah, just kidding. But seriously. -_-


	70. Last Chapter

AN: ... Okay, I _lied_. This is the last chapter of Generic Exaggeration.  
WAIT A MINUTE PUT THE GUN AWAY PLEASE.  
I'm ending this because... it's gone on long enough. I'm still going to be writing crack, but just posted as a separate series (since my writing style's changed over one year, too...). So go check that out. Now. Wait, not now. What?

Last Chapter

"Well, Titans, we've gone a long way." Robin sighed, standing on the table. He slowly turned around to look down at each of his teammates. "We've gone a long, loooong way. 70 chapters, to be exact."

Raven muttered something under her breath before standing up and leaving the room.

"Someone's PMS-ing~" Beast Boy sang.

"No, Beast Boy. It's too late to make any last-minute PMSing Raven jokes. It's over." Robin jumped down from the table and grabbed the front of Beast Boy's ridiculously stretchy uniform. Robin began screaming in his face. "DON'T YOU GET IT?! IT'S ALL OVER! WE'RE NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!!""

"Haven't you been OOC long enough, man?" Cyborg sighed.

"...No." Robin sat on the floor, glaring at all of them.

"Do you all recall the time in which the author had so stupidly inserted herself into a chapter?" Starfire asked, breaking the fourth-wall for the last time. She sighed and stared off at the distance fondly. "She was quite an idiot, indeed."

"No, Starfire, it was all a part of your imagination." Cyborg gently said, patting her head.

"Found it." Raven reentered the room, holding a brick in one hand. She strode up to Robin and bashed him over the head with it.

"Lolwut?" Beast Boy looked at Raven questioningly.

"With him dead, there'll be no chances of Generic Exaggeration returning for more 'special chapters'." Raven explained. "We need to close any final loopholes. Something like that. Yes."

"You know, Raven, you'd make a pretty crappy murderer." Robin said, rubbing the bump on his head and getting back up.

Raven pushed him out the window.

"Now all I need to do is perform one final emo act, and I think I'm done here." Raven cut her arm off and sank through the floor and disappeared, leaving the readers to wonder if she had gone to create her own spin-off show.

"So Robin and Raven are officially gone. Huh." Cyborg rocked on his heels. He kicked Raven's twitching arm away. "Weeeell, I guess there's nothing here for me then, either."

"You're leaving too?!" Beast Boy cried out.

"Well, of course, you blundering idiot!" Cyborg said. He grabbed Beast Boy's shirt and shook him back and forth. "IT'S ALL OVER, MAN. BYE BYE."

Cyborg spun around and ran out the door.

"It looks like it's just you and me, Star." Beast Boy sighed.

"Ooh! Ooh! I suggest we create our own talk show and then create a cartoon ripoff of a previously existing show and then take over the Fox News Network!" Starfire said excitedly.

"Yeah! And get government funds to do research on monkeys and tofu and other crap that only I care about!" Beast Boy said.

"...No, Beast Boy. Just, _no_. You are not funny anymore." Starfire sniffed, kicked him in the gut, and flew out the window.

Since there wasn't anything left to do, Beast Boy left the tower.

And ignorantly forgot to leave food for Silkie in the process.

With that, it all came to an abrubt end.

***

AN: I apologize for the low quality chapter. It's an awful way to bring this to an end, but... eh. It had to end some way or another.  
Thanks to everyone for their support and for enduring 70 incredibly painful chapters of OOCness and sugar-high!  
... put the gun away. I haven't left Teen Titans entirely, if you recall the AN at the beginning of this chapter.  
So go check that out.


End file.
